Thursday, December 22, 2005

Over the river and through the woods.

I had a little Christmas meltdown last night. That's all you really need to know.....though I will say that I had had too much to drink. Yesterday afternoon was the work holiday lunch, which inevitably was followed by happy hour drinks at a bar. I was already hungover by midnight. (Oh, and I fell down in the bar! I seem to have a little problem with drinking and staying on my feet!).

I didn't get any packing done, much to Kevin's annoyance (among other things). I got up this morning and did it. Rough. I feel sleepy right now, oh so sleepy.

Christmas is almost here and I am so glad. I won't be able to relax until we are safe and sound in Cincy. Actually I don't think I will truly relax until we're lying in the Caribbean sunshine sipping rum! I do think it's going to be a nice Christmas....I will just be able to go with the flow--it's not my family, after all! Am I sad about that? No, not really. I know Kev's fam will treat me like one of their own.

Ahead of us lies the god-almighty 18-hour drive. Just enough time to ponder all the wishes and reflections of the year past and the year ahead!!

I know I'll post over the holidays....ummm, maybe not. I'll try.

Regardless, I hope everyone has a smashing (not smashed!) dashing Holiday, whatever your Holiday of choice may be.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The best gift yet.

Dear Turner Household:

Your $230 gas/electric bill for December.

Merry Christmas,

Xcel Energy

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Fun with investing.

Equities, mutual funds, IRAs, stock options, return on investments, bonds, annuities, dividends, money markets, FDIC, Russell 3000....

It's all greek to me.

I just know that if I keep on doing what I'm doing I should be a millionaire by age 65.

And that's no lie.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Strung out on the holidays.

I'm all partied out. Neither party--surprisingly--was all that raging. And that's a GOOD thing. No embarrassing moments, no guilt over running my mouth and acting like a drunken idiot, no massive hangover. Just a bunch of people dressed in nice clothing having sophisticated drinks and mature conversation.

It was quite nice, actually.

Now it's all just a slow winding-down gurgle towards exhaustion. I'm tired. I can't do everything....tonight I will manage to make soup. But I've decided to forget about making any kind of work treat (even though I bought these cute little bags I pictured tying up festively with fun ribbon).

Enough is enough!

I am just a smidge strung out on Christmas right now. (But bikini line sure looks good!)

Friday, December 16, 2005


It's been a productive week.

Exhibit A:

Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

Yep, I'm pretty old school with the handwritten planner and all...but you can bet your bottom dollar that every inch of chicken scratch on that planner has been attended, done, fulfilled, cancelled, paid, acknowledged, etcetera, etcetera.

Tonight we're having Kevin's school people over for a pre-party before we all go bowling. I LOVE bowling. The bad music, the shoes, the cheap beer, the local-yocals...all of it.

Unfortunately, we're still contending with this nonsense:

Water pipe crisis
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

I mean, could someone please come fix this up already? Rosalicious no like no holy ceilings (although God might). I seriously wouldn't want some rogue piece of plaster to knock one of Kevin's Urban Planning buddies upside the head. And I especially don't want these peeps thinking we're living in SQUALOR!

Oh well, at least there is a pretty tree to gaze upon:

Christmas Tree
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

And let's not forget that tomorrow night is the night we all thrown down (or up) in the name of Christmas Cheer! I hope you're coming!

Lastly, this afternoon I have discovered the absolute HILARITY of this site!! I know it's been around for awhile now and I'm certainly not scooping anyone....but can I just say it's one of the funnier things I have read/seen in a long long time!

With that...I hope your weekend is going to be as good as mine!

Sweater: fugly or cute?

This morning I got chastised for the heinousness of my sweater.

I don't think it's too fact, I rather like it.

So, I'll take a quick poll. Fugly or cute?

Sweater: fugly or cute?
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

Here's a shot of me so you can see the color better...

Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

Ummm, I know, it's obviously not my best shot. Some double chin hiding was essential.

If you'd let me know whether this sweater is headed for Goodwill or deserves to remain in the rosalicious collection, I'd be grateful.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Christmas Miracle Diet.

Good lord! I think a Christmas miracle has happened on my thighs!

7 El-Bees, y'all. SEVEN EL-BEES!


Just 3 more to go!

Truth be told, the 10 lb. weight loss goal is irrelevant at this point. Why stop at 10? I can lose MORE! I've got the taste for veggies and fruit and - especially - working out and it tastes good!

The number on the scale no longer matters (alrighty--who am I kidding?)'s that now I'm starting to feel awesome--my jeans fit well again, I feel healthy, and most of all- I have stuck to a goal. I am not good at sticking to goals.

(That in and of itself might just be the real miracle.)

Ohhhh....I'm not out of the weeds yet. I need to keep this lifestyle up. And it's not all that hard, really. If I can do it at this time of year....I can do it all year long. Mind you- it's not the sweets and all the food and drinking and partying. It's trying to find the time to fit in a workout. And by god--I've been doing it.

That's why I'm calling this The Christmas Miracle Diet.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Hypothetical situation.

Let's say you were reading samples of some letters that recently went out to alumni of the school you work at. And let's say that on one letter, there is a very small mistake, one where one measley little word is left out.

Would you, knowing that this particular letter bearing the mistake has already been mailed, mark the mistake in HUGE letters, where everyone else in the office can see it, then present your discovery to both the Associate Director and the Director somewhat proudly?

Or, would you discreetly bring the mistake to the Director's attention and commiserate on the fact that yeah, sometimes it happens?

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I seriously need to get a grip.

After reading the latest issue of Real Simple last night, with its holiday warm fuzzies and stories of feel-good non-commercialism, I now feel like a total grinchy, stressy, overspendy, stereotypical Christmas manic.....or, something.

But! But! I know I don't NEED to do everything I listed 2 entries below, I WANT to! Admittedly--I also feel like I HAVE to, however--HAVE to as in no one's making me do anything but my own overachieving type A personality. Something gets written on my list and I'll be DAMNED if it goes without getting crossed off.

I'm in my element with all this scheduling and planning and buzz of activity. You should see my calendar....I just penciled in all my workout times around the other stuff. I have no free lunch hours, no free evenings until.....well, the 23rd when we get to Cincy.

P.S. I just dropped $73.50 to get my passport by next Wednesday. It's a load off both my mind and my wallet. Yikes.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Here are 2 things that have recently caused me great irritation:

1. LOL. For real, just don't use it.

2. When stores put a sticky price tag smack on the front/middle/side of an item instead of on the BOTTOM where no one can see it.

Either one of these 2 things alone could easily set me off this afternoon.

Watch out.

(What can I say, I have PMS)

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

I will be SO glad when Kevin is done with school for the semester. The stress-level and lack of sleep is permeating the entire household! The pets - recently, their morning behavior has been out of control. Lucy woofs to go out when she has just been out. Hendrix knocks shit off the dresser, as usual, but he has also recently discovered the annoying clanging noise that the metal drawer pulls make when he bats them with his paws...

I need a massage. My shoulders are so tense, they hurt. I feel slightly stressed and grumpy this morning--and I have a lot to do between now and when we leave for Cincinnati next week....finish Christmas cards, finish shopping, wrap presents, get an oil change, find someone to look after the cat, make peanut brittle, cook appetizers, use my Ann Taylor Loft gift certificate, get a bikini wax, pack....Plus, next week are meetings with my financial advisor, therapist, and dentist...not to mention the work holiday party. Lord, I can't wait for some vacay. Love me some vacay. And part of it will be spent in the tropics! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD rosalicious, don't rub it in!

The holiday snacks are starting to make an appearance back on the kitchen table here at work. I can easily pass on the cookies and candy...but there are gourmet nuts and a popcorn tin! I LOVE a popcorn tin! I think I might have to duct tape my mouth shut for the rest of the day. And might I add that a co-worker, jokester that he is, put a piece of gum back there and, seeing as how it would be a good diversion from inhaling caramel popcorn and smoked almonds, I popped it in my mouth....immediately spitting it out because it tasted as toxic as a shot of Pine Sol? Come to find out, the gum was over 2 years old!

The water pipe crisis didn't go down quite as dramatically as I may have indicated. Sure it was a wet stinky mess, but after all was said and done, we currently only have some holes in the ceiling that await patching. None of our stuff was ruined and the Christmas tree, fortunately, still stands in all its splendor.

Anyway.....that's about as much updating as I can muster, considering my tummy is screaming for its usual mid-day salad and soup-fest.

But before I forget, are you coming to our Holiday Party?

Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

A 9 on the Cute Attack Scale

Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Happy Birthday Sophie!

In the midst of the water pipe crisis yesterday, I forgot to give a big big happy birthday shout-out to my favorite little sister, Sophie.

Sophie is TEN today (err, yesterday actually)! Isn't she cute?

Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

Sophie was born when I was a sophomore in college. I've always felt more like an auntie than anything, but I love the little gal dearly all the same! I miss her--living across the country is so hard. Everytime I see her she's so much bigger and cuter--and she has the most gorgeous long red hair (just like her Mama and Big Sis!).

Always a spunky little thing (obviously the product of her family, who doesn't hold back), Sophie is the one behind the previously mentioned Puffy Vagina anecdote. When she was about 4 years old, she came running into the living room with her skirt up and her little-girl white tights stuffed in the front with socks. Obviously quite proud of herself (and egged on by my snickering), she goes "Look Rosie! I have a puffy vagina!" It was just too cute for words.

And in honor of this time of year, another bit of cuteness: When Sophie was around the same age as the puffy vagina incident -- 4 -- she received a talking Christmas Bear who recited the Lord's Bedtime Prayer...."Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep..." from our Great-Aunt Carol, who was, shall we say, pretty "country." We swore the bear had the same country accent as Aunt Carol, so we would sing along with the bear in our best country accents, ending with a big ol' "A-MEN" in the most southern of twangs. This never got old--in fact, that bear still comes out every Christmas and it NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY!

Anyway, welcome to the double digits, sweetheart!

Thursday, December 08, 2005


As I was typing a pretty little post about going back to school for web design and how I just got my ass kicked once again by my fitness class, Kevin just called to frantically tell me that...

A pipe just busted in our house and there is water EVEYWHERE!!!! He didn't call the landlord, he called ME. And to further exacerbate the problem, he's late for class in which he has to present his final project.


Excuse my language, but this is bad. All our shit is we have renter's insurance...NO!...and we don't have any running water with which to bathe or drink.

And it's cold. Damn this effing cold!

I don't want to live in a moldy old wet house. Can we move, please?

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Motivation, don't leave me now.

Dude, look how cold it was this morning on my way to work:

-2 degrees
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

BRRRRR. When I got up this morning to let Lucy out (it was still dark), I do believe it was 7 below. That kind of cold just smacks you. All I see now are dollar signs as our furnace steadily, steadily hums...

The Diet is still going well. I broke a few rules over the weekend and since I am here to keep you honestly and fully up-to-date on The Diet, allow me to divulge how I was naughty:

- Had order of fries (but only ate half--really!)
- Had more than 7 glasses of wine
- Ate after 7 PM
- Had half and half in coffee
- Drank less than 2 Nalgenes of H20.

Ok, in writing all that down, I see that's not so good. But I haven't had seconds! I exercised 5 times last week! I haven't eaten chips and salsa! I've been keeping portions small! No snacks! Lots of veggies and protein! I have lost 3 lbs!


It's so hard to stay motivated in this cold. I don't want cold veggies and fruit and cottage cheese (although that's precisely what I had for breakfast). I want meat and soup and bread and melted cheese and pizza and tacos and eggs and pasta....AHHHH!

But I am going to keep at it. Keep sending me those skinny vibes!

JAMAICA, I need you now more than ever.

P.S. We're having a Holiday Party on December 17th, won't you join us?

O' Christmas Tree

Behold, this year's Christmas Tree:

Christmas Tree
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

(Obviously, it looks much more impressive when lit.)

We're hoping that this year Lucy refrains from eating the bottom half of the tree. If you saw our tree last year, you'll notice that there are a lot LESS ornaments this year. far, so good.

Lucy and Tree
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

Dear Santa:

For Christmas I would like a large jar of extra-crunchy peanut butter, a dirty litter pan from which to graze, some doo-doo to roll in, a pretty new collar, and a big fat walk.



Monday, December 05, 2005

Blow wind blow...

...blow away these troubled times....take away my sorrows....bring me back some peace of mind.

The wind right now is INSANE. I have never seen, felt, heard wind in Colorado like this. It's hard to walk, hard to drive, hard to escape rogue projectiles.....sheesh. BRUTAL!

The weekend turned out to be quite delightful. Friday night was kept low-key. We watched an awful movie--Prozac Nation. I loved the book but the movie, quite frankly, sucked ass. Big poopy stinky ass.

Saturday we put up our Christmas tree. It was a snowy, cozy kind of day and I piddled around the house in a Christmasy mood- I even wrapped up all my gifts to send home, all while drinking a bloody mary--natch.

Saturday night I got my girls' night out! With sushi and martinis and shots and being bad girls! I thought I was doing so well--maybe a 6 on the drunk scale--but at the end of the night where do we end up but the Front Porch?! I swear, I have no restraint. By the time I got home I was 2 mm away from being a 10. I'm getting too old for this crap (but can I do it for just a little while longer?).

Yesterday I had lunch at Rock Bottom Brewery and then went to see the national touring production of The Phantom of the Opera. I do love a musical. Although I was pretty hung, I was still mesmerized. Amazing. Why don't I make it a point to go to the theater more often?

I had a nightmare last night that I was trying to rescue 2 children and some bad guy tossed poison on me from a plastic easter egg, but I was resistant to it and could escape. Troubling!

Well, I'm off to bare my soul. Wish me luck.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Got them out, thank god.

I cried last night, oh...around midnight or so. As soon as I did, I felt much better.

See, I was starting to get scared that my meds were making me numb to the act of crying. I'm not normally the weepy type, but it had been months since I shed a good round of tears.

Things are much better this morning, thanks for asking. Although at work it seems everyone is having some sort of crisis--dying cats, dying Moms, Moms in surgery, Cousins on their deathbeds, and of course the god-awful Cancer.

My lip is getting raw from biting it to hold back the tears when my co-workers tell me the latest. What is it about this time of year, anyway? It kind of seems like around the holidays is when families go awry.

Not much in store for the weekend--Kevin is swamped with school work and has no time for me. Last night he asked "what are you doing on Sunday?" and I perked up with glee, thinking he had made plans for us to do something couple-y like go cut down a live Christmas tree or take a hike to collect evergreens and pine cones for all my upcoming decorating adventures. Turns out, his group is working on their project at our place and he wanted to ask me, ever so politely, to SCRAM that day.

Oh well. I could go for a chick flick or somesuch girly activity. I'm done Christmas shopping! Well, at least for this pay period. I am so on it, man.

I have been feeling a little lonely lately, actually. I really miss girl action! HA! Seriously, it feels like it's been forever since I had girls' night out. Sushi, wine, gossip, some rogue ciggies....that's what I'm screamin'.

I am also silently wiggin' out about my passport arriving on time. Against the better judgment of the post office lady, I opted out of expedited service. That's $67 extra bucks! Now I think it might have been worth it. Post office lady, can I get a re-do?

Thursday, December 01, 2005

I hope this isn't starting to turn into a dieting blog.

There's all this shit I want to write about but can't because people will get mad at me or people will hardcore judge me.

Hey Therapist! Next Monday, it's you and me Chica!

I so wish I could vent in this venue, but unfortunately I cannot.


Diet Update

This is one area where I KNOW I am being judged, but completely don't give a shit.

Last night I lived up to my promise and worked out at the School Gym. It wasn't so bad! I think it's going to comprise at least 2 days of my working out, if not more! I ran for 45 minutes and did abs for 10. The weights area was too full of yo-buddies to get in a proper lifting.

Today I went in for the ass-kicking Total Body Fitness class, only to find that it had been cancelled. Instead I did the elliptical for 40 minutes and then lifted weights for 20. I am such a weakling! There were all these women in the gym who looked like total climbers and bikers....bad-ass outdoorsy women with serious muscleage. I so need a personal trainer.

I weighed myself and was shocked. And in denial. But for good reason--the scale at the gym was 10 lbs. over what the scale at my last doctor visit said 2 weeks ago. I find that much gain impossible. I mean, I truly look the same, feel the same, can wear the same clothes. So, if you can believe that I DON'T own a scale, believe that I'm stopping by Target on the way home to buy one so I can accurately track all this hard work.

And if you think I am telling you what I weigh, you're crazy, sister. OK- according to the scale at Kaiser Permanente, I weigh 135. Happy?

135, sister, and that's all there is to it.