Do cowgirls get wedgies?

Howdy cowboys and cowgirls!

Remember that purse making party I went to way back yonder?

The goods, they finally arrived. May I present to you a photo of my one-of-a-kind $100 cowboy purse, designed by yours truly?


The lining I selected, so very spiffy:


Close-up of my special cowboy purse, giddy up lil doggies!


It might be handy for you to know a few things here: a) there is nothing in my collections remotely cowboy-western-anything b) the party included a lot of wine.

So, there's your explanation for why I picked a cowboy pattern right there. It's cute though, right? Right? C'mon cowgirls, buck up some compliments! (I need to end stupid cowgirl references immediately.)

Do you think that all the stylish ladies in South Beach Miami will make fun of my new purse next week, like "damn she's from podunk Colorado, poor thing! She wears tight Wranglers and shit stompers!" Or might they be like, "wow your purse is so kitchy and original, I've never seen anything like that! You must be from Colorado...that's awesome, they have great skiing!"

I'm torn.

Clearly I couldn't live without also designing my own $15 checkbook cover:


Shut up. I know nobody writes checks anymore. I do, so stick that internet bill-paying nose up your ass. I have a completely adorable little checkbook cover and you probably still have that generic blue plastic one from your bank that the dog's done chewed up so...HA!

I had an especially productive day today. Too bad I've been sitting in the biggest wedgie EVER. I put on some size 6 Banana Republic pants this morning thinking, hell yeah! They fit! But amidst the excitement of this discovery I failed to realize that they're still a few inches away from what you might call comfortable. At least I don't want to eat lest my tummy swell out, making the crisis worse. And speaking of tight Wranglers, how in the hell do they deal with the whole ride a horse/camel toe/wedgie situation?

No, you don't get a picture of my wedgie. Check out my golden highlights instead:


Giddyup, it's Friday all you cowpokes!

Procrastination is a bitch.

Hello, blog? Hi, it's me again.

I just can't get my act together today. I've got 2 items of biz just hanging over my head (trust me, I really wanted to turn that into something witty that links "hanging over" with my hangover) but procrastination....boy, is it a bitch.

So instead of doing what I'm supposed to be doing, I am instead eating my way through the day. I have eaten everything Naughty and Wrong. Bagel with cream cheese, chips and salsa, brie cheese and crackers, rondele cheese and crackers, goat cheese and crackers (are we sensing a pattern), iceburg lettuce salad with ranch dressing (haha! I first wrote "ranch diarrhea" 'cause that's what I had after all this food), cole slaw, a hazelnut chocolate-thingy, and lo, we're back to the chips and salsa. Oh and a diet coke.

You must think--like Kevin thinks--that I do nothing all day.

You might be right.

I have caught up on all of the blogs on the "I'd Have Cocktails With Them" list. Question is: would they have cocktails with me?

I am skipping my final how-to-be-happy class tonight under the guise of dropping a CD off at the printer's. No worries, y'all, I bought the book! I am wayyyyyyy too tired to map out my emotions right now anyway.

My secretary just brought in cookies and brownies. Remember I said that this was a requirement--wink, wink? The thing about these cookies and brownies is that they are the product of an overachiever--homemade, for one. Served on a fancy gold platter, second. And last, the "garnish" is dark Godiva chocolate. Holy crap batman, how did she know?

I think I may just go puke.

ZZZZZzzzzz I am boring.

This is so going on my life to-do list.

Even though we are already going here in June, and trust me--between tickets, condo rental, food, BEER, and the requisite t-shirt, this trip will cost us a pretty penny, I still really really want to do this!

Ohmigod, doesn't it look like so much FUN? (Or, a BLAST!, as my gal Kellers would say?)

Real adults don't get hangovers.

Well, Secretary's Day was epescially festive this year! After polishing off 7 bottles of wine yesterday afternoon, some of us from the office headed out for even more drinks. $2 margaritas as a matter of fact....ummmm DINNER!

I don't care what anyone thinks, alcohol increases morale! Builds trust! Establishes comraderie! Ok, whatever-- we all know that comparing salaries and talking shit is what it's all about. Work gossip is FUN! Our office is relatively quiet and subdued, so in my opinion, going out is much needed.

Count my ass IN!

Unfortunately, this ass is doing some dragging this morning. I almost backed into some chick when backing out of my driveway....she laid on the horn and then just sat there glaring...and backing up traffic too, I might add. Shit lady! SOR-RY, now move along.

Kevin hates it immensely when I come home from an eventful happy hour. I start demanding to know when we're getting married....yeah, I am that girl. Obnoxious. I'm also the one who thinks it's a really good idea to crack open another beer and then take 2 sips before deciding it's time for bed.

Anyone want to write a letter and order some artwork for me this morning?

I got a call yesterday from an organization I interviewed with last year inviting me to reapply for a position before they officially post it. Might I point out that I wasn't the one who was chosen for this position the first time? Hmmm. Does this mean I am being "headhunted?" Wow, I have always wanted to be headhunted.

The networking shit must be paying off, because I saw the Director at a luncheon a few months ago and actually sat at her table. I truly believe she wanted to hire me but I get the feeling the COO thought me unworthy (bitch.) Anyway, here we are again-- although this time I feel like the ball is more in my court.

Aren't you just dying to know what the job is and where?

HINT: It has to do with plants!

T _ E D_ _ V_ R B_ T _ _ I _ C G _ R _ E _ S

Some pointless shit for you to waste time with.

Yeah, I know what you're doing right now, you're wasting time. Well, what a coincidence, me too! That's what blogs are for, right? Right. In the spirit of wasting-timeness, chew on some of this pointless shit...or not. Think I care? (Ummm actually I do! I do I do I do! LIKE me!)

* After a variety of tubular arm strengthening activities in step class today, my arms now feel just like those tubes, those limp limp tubes...I'm afraid tubes are unable to operate a mouse, so work? Not so much.

*I made Kevin apply sunless tanner to my back last night without telling him that his hands might turn orange....snicker, snicker.

*I only had 2 hard boiled eggs for breakfast and surprisingly I didn't get hungry until 11 am! I ate my lunch before step class and now I'm hungry like the wolf!

*The no cussing rule isn't going so well. Fuck.

*20 bucks only halfway filled up my gas tank. Fuckity fuck fuck.

*The WEEN show at Red Rocks is already sold-out. I feel exceptionally special for dragging my ass out of bed the day tickets went on sale to buy some. Unfortunately, I didn't get you any.

*Everyone likes my sweater today and I got it off the Old Navy sale rack for $6.99. My shopping skills rule.

*I don't care if Britney Spears is pregnant or not. She's naaaasssty.

*Nobody sells 5x5 picture frames and I am in great need of TWO.

*I stabbed my thumb with Hendrix's insulin needle this morning and got scared I would OD. On what, I'm not sure. Needles are just straight-up scary, yo.

*Hendrix does not appreciate smoked salmon for his post-shoot up treat. Or cat nip either, for that fact. Little prick!

*I don't own a wine rack. I wish I did, even though it'd pretty much be empty 80% of the time. No control, that's me. But I still wish I had one, a magic one that never emptied, for all those VSMs (very special moments)and VBDs (very bad days).

*I just met with a vendor and used my best sweetness and light voice: "I know ...noooo, thank YOU! I will and you TOOOOOO!"

*Cat Power is some good music. And her name rocks. Fist in the air: CAT POWER! MEOW! Although come to think of it, she sounds a little too much like Beth Orton.... MEowch....

*OK...only 15 minutes left now 'til the wine is cracked! Yeah doggies! And snacks!

Happy humpday all you humpers. Now get back to work!

Your secretary is in fact important.

Hey! Don't forget about those administrative professionals today! Yep, that's right....those who type your memos, do your filing, shred your documents, print your letters, make your calls, pick up your dry cleaning, run your errands, pay your bills, mow your lawn, scrub your toilets, coddle your kids, snoop through your drawers, eat your food, pick your boogers.....whatever!

Today is their day! Get thee to the nearest florist and get 'em a plant or something, SLACKERS!

Thanks,

Ex-florist-who-never-forgets-secretary's-day-and-somehow-finagled-a-wine-and-cheese-party-for-her-office's-assistants-YAY!

I NEED A MENTAL HEALTH DAY!

I am on the edge of a serious hissy fit. Everything is going wrong today. It's PMS times ten and just now I was thinking "this isn't even my time" and lo, I am due to start next week!

So, yes, maybe it is PMS! Does that make me feel better? No. I just wish people would fucking stop pissing me off. I wish my computer would stop pissing me off. I wish *I* would stop pissing me off.

I am sooooo frustratedagitatedangryannoyedweepyirritabletiredlethargicfullof
negativeenergybitchyanalgrumpygrouchycrankyickyickywonkywooo!

I don't think I want to get any more specific than that, I just HAD TO TAKE A MINUTE TO SHOUT AT SOMETHING.

Alright, I'm off to yoga. Clearly, it's needed.

You can go back to Fort Collins again.

Today is a sleepy, sleepy day....it's actually snowing outside. Can you believe that? Yesterday I was snoozing off my hangover in my bikini in a lounge chair outside (trying to get a little sun for Florida next week) and now THIS. UGGGGHHHH.

I also purchsed some sunless tanner. I've heard they have made some serious developments since I last used it, circa 1990. Fingers crossed for orange-less palms.

I finally made it up to Fort Collins on Saturday to meet Skyler Young:


Her social security number is.....just kidding. When I asked her mom if I could exploit her daughter's cuteness on my blog she made me promise not to divulge any personal info. Heh.

Here she is, the spawn of my matchmaking skills ;-)


I introduced her parents. But I was told that's all I could take credit for...I mean, it's not like I personally inserted the weiner into the hoohoo.....OK! Enough! But still, the little punkin' makes me smile proudly. Look at those dumplin' legs!

We ate dinner at The Rio. I know, we have a Rio here in Denver, but somehow it's not nearly as good, nor as nostalgic, as the one in Fort Collins. I used to get my serious margarita buzz on back in the day....although I must be getting old: Saturday night I only drank TWO. I used to down THREE - the limit- no problem and then stagger across the street to the Trailhead for more. (Sometimes I would really rebel and sneak in FOUR.)

Well, we still made it to the Trailhead after. Ann and I played some pool, as we are likely to do...except I snapped at the guy playing us because all he wanted to do was critique my skills ("you really should have tapped that on the left kind of close to the top....") and HELLO, that's just not any fun.

We ended up at East Coast, which has not changed in the least--except now they have a sign. And lots of smokers lingering outside (Fort Collins is smoke-free). We met some boys and took some Patron shots (my fave) and got down to the DJ.

Now, I don't know any self-respecting woman who would ever post a picture of herself clearly looking preggers, but for you internet....anything to keep you coming back for more:


No, sorry, not preggers. But it wouldn't be hard to imagine looking at this picture, no?

Ann used her connections and scored us a cab ride home. Cabs in Fort Collins are like me and my inhibitions when drunk = non-existent. The cab driver really taught me a lot about how to not get screwed when taking a cab.....like we did the other weekend coming home from VA. I started to negotiate a fare and Kevin scolded me, saying "Rose, this is NOT Jamaica." Well, honey- glad you enjoyed forking over that $50 for a 10 mile ride. Anyway, the cab driver also told me that cab drivers HAVE to take credit cards, and if they don't then they are probably driving illegally off- duty and should be reported. This is good to know, seeing as at the end of the night I NEVER HAVE ANY CASH.

The cab driver also stopped at Walgreen's so I could pee. What a sweetheart. Thanks Deuce/Dunce...something like that! You've made me regain respect for those that get me home safely!

Yesterday morning after Ann dropped me off at my car in Old Town, I popped into La Luz for a breakfast burrito. I ordered and everything, poured my drink, responded to the clerk's comment "I like your outfit" with a "Uhhhh, thanks. It's what I wore out last night," and turned around to see this girl with whom I used to be really good friends but had a falling out for reasons of the over-drinking kind. Anyway, she didn't see me, at least at the moment I saw her....but it's a small place so she had to have seen me when I walked in, or at least I would think so...but maybe not.

My mouth formed her name, but I couldn't get it out. I guess I'm glad I didn't....what would I have said? My head was too fuzzy (my teeth too, I'm sure!)...I don't think it would have been a good thing. I sat outside and waited for my food. On the drive home, I decided I would email her today and I haven't. I don't know if I want to anymore....bygones, you know? We'll see.

I love Fort Collins. I never go up there though, which makes it even more special when I do. I have such good memories of living there...but my life is so different now. Maybe I was just tripping on my hangover and lack of sleep, but I felt really, really happy cruising down 38th and seeing all of the Mexican culture....the diversity of my neighborhood felt so right.

Redheaded rosebuds unite!

I received this the other day from a fellow redhead named Rose (Hi Rose!):

"Rosie, happened on your essay, "Wine". I was looking for some glass to use for red hair in a stained glass piece I'm planning. Red hair is hard to duplicate in glass. I don't know how I got to your site. I believe everything happens for a reason though. Anyway, I enjoyed your essay. My name is Rose. I too have red hair. When I was young, I had very long hair. On my wedding day my mother-in-law cut my hair off. She was a hair dresser. I asked her for a trim and ended up with very short hair. I cried, my husband cried. He was in a rock band and that night before we got married he also got all his hair cut off. He did it for me. your essay brought back a flood of memories. Anyway, enjoyed reading your writings. Rose"

She's talking about this essay on a site I made in grad school.

First, it's nice to get good feedback ;-) (Even though the "essay" was written in a drunken stupor...although, sometimes I wish I could just cut loose and WRITE like that again....even if it is just crap. I feel so self-conscious in this space...controlled and worried about what you think.)

Second, redheaded rosebuds unite!!!! I've always thought there was a connection between redheads that you non-redheads wouldn't understand....I mean, we are only 2% of the world's population ;-)

Destroy your grammar rule books!

Have you ever noticed that the worst writers are the ones with the grammar book stuck up their a-hole? They're such anal sticklers for grammar that instead of getting it right, it seems they inevitably end up making it worse. I always think about that episode of Friends where Joey makes his resume sound all impressive by using the thesaurus feature in Word....technically the meaning could be right, but it sounds like ass. That's pretty much what I'm getting at here.

Now, I think grammar rules are as necessary as the next English major, but more importantly...

Style is everything.

Bad writers just don't understand this concept. That's what makes them bad writers. Simply regurgitating some shit (oopsy!) out of Strunk and White does NOT make you a skilled writer.

I am often forced to throw around my editorial power with this very mantra in mind! My first week here I battled a 70-year old woman in data entry about double-spacing after sentences. She was HELL BENT on keeping the double-spacing, presenting me with a variety of style guides and rules (printed in the sixties, mind you) that supported her argument. Since I was new, I did my own searches and counter-attacked with a variety a sources that said, essentially, that double-spacing was old school and no one really did it anymore. (The real reason I won was because everything else coming out of our office had single-spacing and her documents needed to match).

Now, if there is any argument, I don't even look for proof anymore - I just make "an executive decision."

Like I just did 10 seconds ago. YES, I KNOW that the rule says you spell out numbers below 10. But I am still changing it from eight to 8 (for all your grammar nazis out there...don't wad your panties, it wasn't the first word in the sentence....even I am not that "stylistic"). It just made more sense...we were writing a letter to athletes dicussing scores and stats. Wouldn't you rather see "...8 players scored 50% in the last 20 minutes of the 100th Anniversary Championship Game?" Yeah, that's what I thought!

Don't even get me going about comma usage. There just needs to be one there, OK?!?!?

420

Today's date used to be one of great significance....a reason to party down, ahem.

You with me?

If not, sub the word "party" above with the name of that special magic dragon...

Oh yes, those were the days.

How To Be Happy.

Go outside on your lunch break and RUN!

Today I ran along Clear Creek....outside of town and up into the woods/hills. It is so gorgeous out--not a cloud in the sky, 68 degree temps, just a perfect perfect Colorado day!

I feel lucky to both work in a place where in 10 minutes I can be on a trail in the foothills and on a college campus. Kids are outside playing ultimate frisbee, walking on a zip line, lying in the sun, taking advantage of this lovely spring day.

If you can, you should too!

P.S. This morning Kevin called my cognitive behavioral therapy class my "how to be happy class," which for all intents and purposes it is! I need to remember to remind myself of the things that keep me feeling good...

Quick! Read this before I feel guilty and take it down.

Disclaimer: If you are a potential future employer who has googled me and somehow ended up at this post, please know that I don't make it a habit to talk about work on this site...as much as I would like to ;-)

That said, allow me to momentarily throw caution to the wind and rant about work!

Because today, I am having management issues.

My new secretary needs to slow the f*** down!!(I am working on trying not to cuss so much in my posts, somebody give me a cookie....umm, make that a melted piece of brie, I hate sweets). I feel like I am spending so much time gathering things for her to do that I am not getting my own work done...it is REALLY annoying. She finishes stuff in like 5 seconds then immediately comes begging for more.

Case in point- I sent an email to her right before lunch yesterday asking for something, and when I got back from lunch it was already done. FOR GOD'S SAKE, TAKE A LUNCH BREAK! Same with her in-box...you throw something in there to be filed the next morning as you walk out at the end of the day, and she stays late to put it away. GO HOME, IT'S 5 PM!

It's not our culture here. I mean, we all work really hard and stay late if something *HAS* to be done, but staying late just so you can have an empty in-box? She even stayed late on her FIRST DAY. Does that impress me? NO! Why would someone stay late on their first day??? We like to eat lunches here and we like to leave at 5. I want healthy, happy, and satiated employees!

In some ways it's worse than having a total slacker....Ok, maybe not. But just the same, she is out of sync with the rest of us. In some ways, I think she is expecting a whole lot more of her job, when really--it is what it is....which is, IT IS WHAT I OUTLINED IN THE INTERVIEW. Nothing more, nothing less. It is doing mailings - lots and lots of mailings. "Gee, I can't wait to finish this mailing so I can do more important stuff." Ummmm......hello! And might I add that in her first week she suggested no less than 5 times that I buy a folding machine? Would you tell your new boss what to do?

My old secretary got it. If she needed something in the morning, she would say "Let me know when you get settled, I have something for you to review" instead of what I got this morning, when I was followed into my office with questions as soon as I arrived. Do I send a memo letting her know that I am not a morning person and not to approach me until I have had approximately 2 cups of coffee, checked my email, and taken my morning poo? I couldn't, that would be so Anna Wintour of me!

SIGHGHHHHHHHHHH.

Maybe I'm just not cut out for this management role, or maybe it's just all part of the learning experience. Or, maybe it's just flat-out making me look bad...maybe I'm the slacker! HA!

I am smart enough to know that this is all my problem as her manager, not hers. What do you do to rein in an over-achiever? And am I overreacting, it is really such a bad thing or did I just get smacked with the grumpy stick today?

***Later***
While I'm at it, I might as well get all this work stuff out in one incriminating post! If you are a major gifts officer, and your job is to personally negotiate big gifts with your prospects...gifts that you have no problem proudly taking CREDIT for, surely you can close the deal by following up on your own prospect's company match to that big gift. But nooooooo, why not treat me like your lowly assistant, which I am NOT, and have me do all of your matching gift legwork? Yes, I just loved sitting on hold for 30 minutes waiting for someone to answer YOUR question so you can take credit for MY work. Dumb biznatch. (Ooops. No cussing!) I mean, dumb poopooface.

The Lord wasn't the only thing that rose this weekend.

This weekend was one of those where we did a lot and we didn't do a lot. Profound, huh? ;-) What I mean is that this post is going to concern itself with what my weekend consisted of...and in writing it down, it SEEMS like a lot went on, when really it was a weekend that just sort of slipped by and ohmigod, it's Monday already.

Friday night we went to the Rockies game with the Crawfords. An all-American night! But a warm one....so summery! The flops got flipped! Yeehaw! I forgot my camera, so you get to see none of it. All you need to know is that baseball games are fun.

Saturday morning I was tired but not hungover. (That sounds a lot like something out of my college logic class). I made quiche. It rained. We cleaned house and DUMDUMDUM....Kevin obligingly helped with nary a whine or complaint! Not like he isn't ever Rosie's little helper...he just doesn't see the importance of cleaning the bathroom on a weekly basis. Sometimes I think it must be nice to be him.....but alas I am me, Rosie = clean and small. I tried a new tactic and it worked! I asked sweetly if he wanted to help or not (YES or NO, circle one), instead of informing him which task he would be in charge of. I know, you're thinking how awful it must be to be Kevin and have to deal with a neurotic clean-freak like me...so if that's you, SUCK IT. I have less germs and dust than you do....nannynanny booboo.

The next few hours slip my mind. But I do know that around 3 PM we headed over to Colorado Petfitters to pick up Lucy's $40 grub. We discovered a new wine store while over in that 'hood, an AWESOME new wine store. Everything is less than $15 and it's all good, unique stuff. No Yellow Tail, no Mondavi, no Sutter Home. All smaller labels. And they provide you with unpretentious descriptions and simple marketing. I bought a Malbec-Syrah mix and Kev bought a California red called "Crossfire" after the flavor "crossfire" of grapes used. We came home and had ourselves a little wine tasting.

Then, we dyed eggs.

Here is a sweet little staging of my easter handiwork:


Yeah, I am pretty dorky. But ask yourself this- what else are peeps good for? Who actually eats them?

One might say I am also self-absorbed with my monogrammed egg:


But they would be wrong.

After eggs came sushi at Sushi Hai. It was a typical Rose/Kev sushi meal: large purple haze, shared 22 oz Kirin, edamame, miso soup, unagi, spicy tuna, shrimp tempura....lalala. Next time we're going totally exotic...we had this boring old tray while the couple next to us had some crazy looking rolls with things shooting out of them! Big and bold and colorful! The only other item worth noting from sushi would be that the guy on my left, who was the "sushi expert" coaching his sushi newbie friend, asked the waitress to HOLD THE CILANTRO in his miso soup. HAAAAAAAA! He was acting so knowledgeable too, poor thing. (Honorable mention: the mascara job he was sporting.)

The night proceeded to become ever-more exciting with the grand re-opening of BEER DEPOT! I was the youngest one in there by at least 15 years. They were definitely going for the whole James Dean/Marilyn Monroe nostalgia theme....they had even had a Frank Sinatra impersonater performing. Now, I don't know what it was like before the new ownership, but I'm guessing it was pretty divey. I quickly aquired a second wind (also known as 3 bourbon and ginger ales) and was soon making lady friends on the dance floor. Did you know that all you have to do is tell the ladies how hot they are for their age and suddenly you're the most popular girl in the bar? It's true! I got to go "back stage" and was offered a free shot of Jaeger. I also provided some much-needed (in my opinion) marketing tips, to which the owner's wife said....."WAIT, LET ME GRAB A PEN AND PAPER SO I CAN WRITE THIS DOWN!"

So if you suddenly see ads in the Westword promoting $3 Jaeger Bombs at Beer Depot....it's ALL ME.

Sunday morning, easter brunch at the Queen. The Breakfast Queen, that is. Our favorite waitress (kidding) and old Stephanopoulous with his tanned shaved legs. The Queen put the hurting on with its mighty mighty breakkie burrito. Hallelujah.

I had to come home and lie down while the digestive enzyme did it's business. Then I may have just done MY business.

Once I rallied, I drug my digestive-enzyme eating self to Whole Foods, where I acquired the Whole Foods High. You know you get it too! Surrounded by so much yumminess....how can you not? It was pleasantly empty and I wandered around for close to 2 hours. Guess how much I spent! (hint: I could have bought 13 bottles of the most expensive wine at aforementioned awesome wine store...) I know, that's nothing to be proud of...

Kevin got an easter gift from me....Claritin and easter hankies! How practical of me!


My card read something like this: Happy Easter Baby! Sorry I was a hungover little pisser this morning, but like the Lord did on this same day, I HAVE RISEN! Love, Me.

Risen, indeed! I got busy on my deviled eggs...only after planting 5 rows of organic greens and cleaning out the garage. Rosie on fire!

Eggs before:


Eggs after:

(I dedicate this picture to Sunya.)

YUM! We also had shrimp on the barbie, grilled veggies, grilled tilapia, and salad with the deviled eggs. YUM-redux!

This week I am looking forward to getting my ass back on track. Last week it felt like shit fell by the wayside because of my withdrawal symptoms and all, which are all fine now--thanks for asking ;-)!! If I am to run the Bolder Boulder in a month I need to run at least 3 or 4 times a week instead of the lame 1 or 2. So running, weights, eating my way through my Whole Foods booty, yoga, sleep, supplements, and lotsa water are what this chica is going to be doing this week.

Don't even think about asking me out for drinks.

www.facebook.com

Dear god, do I feel OLD now!

I just discovered FACEBOOK. Me, of past Friendster addiction, just discovered FACEBOOK!

Why didn't we have this shit when I was in college???

All of my student callers are on there. I have been perusing it for the past hour, reading their profiles. Turns out, they are NOT as big of geeks as I thought. (Dude, we're talking about one of top engineering schools in the US here...pocket protectors galore!) These kids actually drink and party and have witty things to say!

Facebook is cool, man. Yet, I almost feel too geezerly to spiff up my own profile (I had to make one to join). But if I was a youngin again I would be ALL OVER IT. Hmmm, on second thought, I am still a youngin. Facebook....giddyup!

But do I really want my students to know all about my affinity for curse words, jaeger bombs, and bong hits? I think not. Maybe I could make up a "fake" profile, just to fuck with them....now, that would be fun! ;-)

You know you don't give a shit about titles.

I'm too unmotivated to compose anything today.....lists are about all I can handle right now....so here you go:

- The mother of a student here at school called me today for the 5th time, bitching about how her daughter's scholarship wouldn't cover her hearing aids and so she shouldn't be asked to give any more money (really, she talked mostly about the damn hearing aids). And for the 5th time, I informed her that her name has been removed from our mailing list. I got another 20 minutes of her insane babble (and I do mean that this woman is obviously a bit nuts--and religious: the LORD entered the conversation at least twice).....I finally had to stop her and say "Look, the only thing my office can do for you is remove your name from our solicitation list, which we did months ago." And she goes "Well, you sound so young it's obvious you have no power to do anything." CLICK. (I did the clicking. How's that for power, biznatch?)

- There was a fire alarm/drill at the Rec center today so we did our workout outside in the blazing sun. We did sprints, lunges, push-ups, all kinds of boot camp drills. Ass = kicked.

- I had a full hour of extreme dizziness and nausea this afternoon. Workout or drug withdrawal? Thankfully, it's gone now....but it was brutal.

- We watched "Crash" last night --intense. Good flick, but intense. Good deconstruction potential.

- I got 2 new CDS...Neko Case: Fox Confessor Brings the Flood (love!) and The Mammals: Departure (thanks Ma for turning me on to them!). I love new music!

- I am reading a really boring memoir right now: "A Girl Named Zippy." Snore....I need serious meat in my memoirs! Depression, eating disorders, abuse, illness....c'mon! Gimme some drama!

- I am going to the beach in 3 weeks. Yeah, so it's Florida...but there will be sun and sand and my friend Shannon! And work is paying for it (so I guess there will be some work involved too). I am staying smack on the beach ;-)

- I am making deviled eggs this weekend -- after I dye them, of course! I still enjoy dying Easter eggs...other than that...Easter means NADA to me.

- I keep thinking about this kitchy little purse I gave my mom that says "It's such a nice day today, I think I might surprise everyone and skip my medication!" (She keeps all her meds in it ;-)

- But it truly IS a nice day in Denver today and I am skipping the meds indefinitely! Woohhooo!

- Widespread Panic reminds me of drinking Bud Light out of plastic keg cup and smoking Camel Lights....good times, bad music.

- I think I want sushi tonight.

Two new tunes.

There are two things I swore I would never like, but I've since changed my tune...

1) Remember this post? Ahem. Well, I bought some. I did! Green ones. They are super comfy and great for yard work. Kev has a pair of plastic Birkenstock clogs and I've always eyed them enviously for the ease of slipping them on to do....well, whatever. I bought them with my/our REI dividend check so technically I didn't shell out $30 for them....anyway--if you see me wearing them out to dinner with a cute summery skirt and a spiffy tank top, shoot me, please. These are only meant to be HOUSE SHOES ;-)

2) This kind of cheese. I used to despise the stuff, but now? UMMMMMMMMMMM, delicious. Just today I had a salad topped with it (combined with toasted walnuts = scrumptious!). I still can't do the blue cheese dressing though...too old ladyish.

What can I say? Minds are made to be changed, are they not?

Wonky.

Today is the third day of being Celexa-free. I do believe I am experiencing some side effects! ICKYWONKAS!

Yet, they are NOTHING compared to the withdrawal symptoms I had going off Paxil. Paxil = effing evil shit!! I know, I know, didn't I learn anything the first time????

I am feeling kind of spacey and wonky. A little dizzy, slightly out-of-body. I have pains in my head. I feel sort of anxious, but I think it's because I am scared of feeling as shitty as I did going off Paxil.

I've been googling "Celexa withdrawal" and have been getting tons of scary info. Ugghhh...it is so unfair. The Celexa was very helpful for me at the time, and now I feel betrayed!

I will be OK. I know how to be happy. I eat right. I exercise. I do yoga. I am in cognitive behavioral therapy. It's gonna be alllllllrighhhhht (baby).

**UPDATE: 2:30 pm.....wow, I am all of the sudden feeling EXCELLENT. Maybe I was just hungry. I am drinking tons of H2O to flush, flush, flush....I want to be normal, no drugs (except those of the grow-from-the-ground recreational make-me-laugh variety). I want to be FRREEEEEE, happy and frrreeeee and not crazeeeeeeee! I also hope I drop the weight I gained while on it--that will make all of this withdrawal shiz worth it!!

TRW: Denver

I knew it!

I'm sure Kev will be overjoyed at this news...yet another reason for rosalicious to watch some trashy TV! ;-) I wonder what bar will become their "hangout," the place where they all get totally shitfaced and pick up drunken Denver chicks eager to be on MTV? I bet it's the Giggling Grizzly....just the name suits the purpose....didn't TRW: Austin have the "Raging Rooster" or something?

In any case, another reason to avoid LoDo on the weekends.

(But it is a teensy bit exciting --good PR for Denver! We are pretty cool here!)

Holy crap! Is it Monday already?

Jeeezz....the weekend went by wayyyyy too fast!

Saturday afternoon I went up to Copper for Sunsation. Toots and the Maytals played.....it was really, really crowded. But it was an absolutely gorgeous day! Check out the blue sky against the white slopes! I LOVE COLORADO!


It was very much a family affair. Family number one, the Crawfords: Emily, Chris, and Danny (I feel like I am introducing them for Family Feud!):


Family number two, the Broughtons: Ben, Sara, Christian, and Tucker (not pictured....probably hanging on the fence behind):


Um, and then me - I fit in somewhere, in this case right in the middle:


Dude, we look young. Can you believe we're all 30 (Sara- almost)? I speak for all of us when I say that rocks...I pretty much forced my ID on the ID checker. "Look at me, look at me....I'm 30!" Heee...obnoxious.

I also shot a movie at a bar after the Toots and the Maytals show....someone will have to show me how to post my movies on this blog! I am loving the video feature on my camera! FUNNNNN.

Did you all know that Toots is a polygamist? No? Me either. I think his name is also pronounced "tuts" instead of "tooooots." Who knew...

I know this may come as a shocker but yesterday was hangover free! I spent 2 hours digging up every dandelion plant in the yard. I know I pooh-poohed the weeding...but I just couldn't help myself, and it was too sunny and lovely to be anywhere but outdoors. So I made myself useful. Consequently, my back is burnt to a crisp and my bum is sore from squatting. But damn...not a little yellow flower in sight!

(For the record, I am still sad about the garden situation).

After dandelion pickin' Lu-bird and I took a walk, I washed my car, and then I baked up some tastylicious eggplant parm. I told Kevin that I'm trying to be more like Carmela Sporano...

Speaking of which, we missed The Sopranos last night. What happened?

Roots and Toots.

I like what it's doing outside right now. True, it's exceptionally dreary but sometimes you just need some dreary to offset the constant Colorado sunshine. The yin to the yang, you know.

And as every Coloradoan worth her weight in Fat Tire knows...WE TOTALLY NEED THE MOISTURE.

Because I knew it was going to rain today, I tossed grass seed on the dirt parts in our yard last night. I did this half-heartedly, knowing it didn't really matter whether grass grew or not.....we're moving. I also bent down and pulled a few weeds, but stopped because weeds, schmeeds....who gives a fuck when they're not my weeds to begin with?

I am so ready to have my OWN yard to dilly dally in. I love yard work--all of it...mowing, weeding, planting, watering, mulching. We put so much effort into our current house last summer because we knew we would be renewing our lease and could therefore enjoy the fruits (or, rather, veggies) of our labor. Now I can't even start a garden because when it's time to move everything will just be coming in.

We don't really know what kind of living situation we're going to get into this summer, we just know that there is no way in hell we can live another winter in our house. The pipe situation, mainly. They didn't even bother to insulate them, just repatched the ceiling! It's going to happen again to the next tenants. Also, we really don't need 2,000 sf. Talk about atrocious heating bills!

I am very sad because now I have no reason to get psyched for gardening season to start. Our landlord is such a priss I don't even care about tending the yard. (I say that, but we all know I would never let it go...I am too clean for that). So, mowing: yes. Garden: no. Weeding: perhaps.

I totally found the cutest house in our neighborhood on Craigslist at an affordable price with good curb appeal, a good yard, and a HOT TUB. It makes me want to run straight out and get a home loan next week, but even by the time I did that the house would probably be gone (we live in the most up-and-coming 'hood in Denver). I just called Kevin and told him we needed to have a meeting about the near housing future. That's what we do as a couple--have meetings. How corporate of us!

The other option is to get out of our lease early and rent something starting in June so at least I can garden there. Clearly, a garden is of utmost importance ;-)

I am just sooooo ready to lay down roots....literally and figuratively.

***

On tap for the weekend: Tonight, work out and lay low. Tomorrow, Toots and the Maytals up at Copper Mountain!

Have a great weekend!

Mama gets hitched!

Friday morning, after flying into BWI and staying with Aunt Linda, Kevin and I headed over to the George Mason campus to get a piece of the Final Four action.

Ladies and gentlemen, you've all seen his mug on ESPN and your local news...here I am with the world famous George Mason:

NOW you know who he is, right? ;-)

We headed to the bookstore so I could buy some GMU pride and we waited in line for 45 minutes with 100 other proud Patriot fans clutching tacky Final Four tees. It was exciting to see such spirit!

But I hate lines. So, after buying a George Mason University tee, I definitely felt the need for a beer! The perfect place was right across the street....Fat Tuesdays (or just "Fats")!! I did some serious partying at Fats while in college. Seeeeeeerrrrioooous. It was our "Peach Pit," but dirtier, hippier, naughtier....umm, OK, so it was nothing like the Peach Pit, we just hung out there all the time.

Kev enjoys beer in the sun at Fats. Fats always has peanuts on hand!


After our lunch, we popped into Burke Florist, where I worked during college. Clearly I am a legend there ;-)...."Everyone, this is Rosie. I was just talking about her designs!" I actually couldn't believe that people I worked with back then, after 8 years, were still there. Particularly Terry, a flamboyant gay man who likened his diarrhea cramps to menstral cramps. As if!

On to Charlottesville we went, stopping for iced lattes before going to Mom's. Mom has a new house...it is totally Charlottesville and totally her. We hung out for a bit with new step dad, new step uncle, and little Soph, who was sick. We ate some pizza and drank some vino....the pizza was from a fundraiser for Sophie's step team. Do you know what step is? It is like a hip-hop dance team that stomps and claps rhythmically...Sophie is co-captain. It is realllllly cute!

After dinner we walked to the downtown mall to the ever chic and trendy Blue Light Grill, where Drayton--my brother--cooks. I was hoping for some random C'ville "God I haven't seen you in forever" encounters, but I never got any. I did, however, get immediately recognized as Dray's sister by all of his co-workers.

Can you see why?


Drayton hooked us up with one of his specialties....a fried green tomato something-or-other with seared tuna and a tasty little mixed green number. YUM, it's nice to have family members who cook!

So serious about the food:


Saturday morning I felt all the wine I drank....ick. We had a little breakkie at Bodo's (if you have ever been to C'ville you know Bodo's) and drove over to check out my brother's new house. The house was nice, but I was way more interested in checking out his NEW GIRLFRIEND. It has been a long time since my brother had a girlfriend. I loved her! She has such a fun little personality! My mom actually met her (Emily) at Whole Foods where she would come in to study for the bar exam. She told Emily she had a son who worked at Blue Light and to go in there and check him out. So she did, which I greatly admire! She is really outgoing and chatty....I love people who are outgoing and chatty. She is also smart. Go Dray!

Saturday afternoon I made all the flower arrangements, naturally!


I also chugged a shitload of H2O to get myself in shape for the bachelorette party! OoOOOoooOOOOooo!

The bachelorette party was so fun! Not just because there was a stripper, but because it was a gathering of awesome women with yummy food and great wine all in honor of my Mom! I love all my Mom's friends....and my aunt and grandma were there too, plus my BBFs Jess and Patsy! Love them girls!

Patsy, Me, and Jessica Blanche:


We all giggled over the stripper, of course. Some of the women were INTO HIM (Tanya!). But eventually he was dancing in the room by himself (everyone was gabbing to themselves...not interested.) My Mom instructed him to "give me special treatment" so I got a lap dance. (If you want to see pics of it, you'll have to check out the set of pictures on my flickr page.) I alternated between watching a wagging weiner pouch with watching a losing basketball team (George Mason!). SNIFF SNIFF...they lost. But it was great energy while it lasted!

After the bachelorette party, Patsy and I went over to KC's to drink mojitos. I phoned UVA hospital to inform them that Patsy would not be in to work the next morning at 7 am. I don't know if they believed me, but I used my best professional voice. I also nipped a huge problem in the bud....who wants to work hungover? Especially when you are dealing with people's lives! I called Kevin to come get us...he didn't have nearly the night we did. The bachelors never do. They watched the game at Starr Hill and sat around drinking beer and eating chips. Someone wanted me to ask Kev is it was "a bunch of Jewish men self-analyzing themselves." I thought that was pretty funny....Kev was the only non-Jew!

Sunday morning the new and extended family went to brunch. I was hurting but not enough to suck down 2 bloody marys. YUM. (I feel like I spent the entire weekend hungover...sucky). I now have not only a new stepfather, but 3 new step brothers....they are all cool and all about my age. One lives in NY City, one in Richmond, and one in Miami. A pretty good looking bunch of guys, I must say. The families were pretty segregated the whole time, though. I guess we have a lifetime of holidays and such so the fam will come together eventually! One of the step brothers is about to have a baby so my Mom will be a step grandma!

I have to hand it to my Mom for being so chill the day of the wedding. Even though it was at her house with just family, if it were me I would have been every bit the PERFECTIONIST. But it was quite relaxed.....everyone arrived and had cocktails and apps in the lovely spring sunshine in the backyard.

The actual ceremony was held in the house between the dining room and living room so everyone could fit....my side of the family was in the living room, the Marks side was in the dining room--segregation...I'm telling you! Although, I guess at conventional weddings they divide sides, too.

Sophie played Pachabel's Canon on her violin and it brought tears to my eyes. She is so sweet:


Mom giggled through it all:


After the "I Dos," everyone got up and danced. It was very joyful (and I am stealing the idea when I tie the knot):


We ate South African food, drank wine, and made merry. Everyone in my family plays music....so, they played:


It was great to reconnect with my family. They are so much fun! I don't get back to VA nearly enough...

So there you go! You can see all the pictures from the weekend here.