rosalicious

Why are all you people still coming over here?

2007-02-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

Update your links, bookmarks, favorites WHATEVER...

I might be super ambitious but I'm sure as hell not going to be keeping 2 blogs...

www.rosalicious.com

Told y'all the end was near.

2007-02-13T10:21:00.000-07:00

That's it.

I'm done.

I just can't take it anymore.

This blog is ugly.

It sucks.

Hideous, I tell you.

So.....

Goodbye.

Blogger!!

I have a new blog! YAY!

www.rosalicious.com

I am just getting settled in over there so please excuse the mess, if you will.

And don't forget to update your links, pretty please.

xoxox

Debbie downer.

2007-02-12T08:36:00.000-07:00

Here's something lame to keep your rosalicious apps satiated while I, um, figure out what the hell to do about stuff...mainly of the BLOGGER/ING variety. The end might be near, I'm afraid. Maybe altogether.

Feeling: Sore
Thinking About: Technology
Your Family History: Dysfunctional
The Last Person You Had "Words" With: Kevin
Want To Fly Away To: Beach
Hate the Sight Of: Roadkill
The Sport Whose Players Turn You On: Snowboarding
Favorite Color Ink: Black
American Idol Judge Who Irritates You Most: Paula
Place You Thought Monsters Hid When You Were Little: Woods
Favorite Spice or Herb: Kosher Salt
What You Like for Breakfast: Breakfast Burritos
Your Living Room Couch: Fur-covered
Most Recent Purchase: Thai Food
Hours You Typically Sleep On Weeknights: 9
Something You Dislike: Monday mornings
A Favorite Color: Green
Your Snack When Willpower Is Nonexistent: Chips and Salsa
Your Bedsheets: Also fur-covered
The Part of Your Face You Scrunch Most Often: Forehead
The Last Thing You Thought Was Funny: Nothing so far today
What You're Going To Do Now: Check my email

Evidence that I'm not in as big a funk as you probably think I am:

Other more interesting things are taking precedence these days and I'm just not feeling it here lately.

I know, right?

2007-02-08T16:07:00.000-07:00

You'd think that since I'm not doing much of anything right now, I'd post something.

Wouldn't you?

I hate this effing blog.

Vomitous.

2007-02-07T09:53:00.000-07:00

You know, I've always thought of the stomach flu as some sort of urban call-in-sick-to-work myth. Or, perhaps more commonly, as a euphemism for a hangover.

(Maybe that's just me.)

I mean, who gets the stomach flu? Not me. At least not since yesterday: the honest-to-god stomach flu is what I've had for the past 36 hours. And it kicked my little butt to the toilet and back. About 50 gazillion times!

So I'm doing a little better today. This word no longer makes me want to hurl:

Calabacitas.*

I'll try to return to my blogging obligations as soon as pie. (pie?)

* What we ate on Super Bowl Sunday, as well as lunch on Monday...

PS. I have now gone from this:
- ~~Learn how to knit (finally!)~~ and ~~take a wine class~~

To this:
-~~Learn how to knit (finally!)~~ and take a wine class.

I had to miss my fucking wine class last night!!!!!!!

Craving a Lil' Smoky Cheeseball.

2007-02-02T14:10:00.000-07:00

This week me and another blogger were interviewed by The Wall Street Journal for a piece about evite. She wanted to know how we used evite and if we had any "funny" anecdotes about it.

Aaaaaaahem. No. In fact, I said something to the extent of "Well, if you call returning a full keg because people who responded yes to the evite didn't show, funny."

(OK, so she might have thought that funny. I was thinking bummer, mainly.)

I don't know if it's really evite itself that irritates me - as in, do I hate the player or hate the game? (Or some variation of that cliche.) Maybe it's the player. For example, why the hell don't people respond? We can SEE that you've looked at the damn thing, we can SEE that you've looked at it twice, even three times, in fact.

(For the record, allow me to point out that I don't have any evites out there right now. I'm not bitter anymore, thank you very much.)

Slightly less irritating: when people say yes on the evite, and then don't show. Things come up, OK. I get that. But you CAN change your response. In fact, I would think that it would be easier for some people to go in to the evite and repsond NO than make a phone call. (Although a phone call is nicer and somewhat better etiquette.)

Anyway, along these same lines, I just finished I Like You: Hospitality Under The Influence by Amy Sedaris.

[This book KILLED me. I laughed out loud the whole way through. Best thing I've read in a long long time. Sooooo funny.]

Her book is jokey but it isn't necessarily a joke book. She truly makes some awesome points about entertaining, one of them being: fucking RSVP to shit, people! (In so many words.) It's insulting to your hostess not to. By "teeter-tottering" you're implying to your hostess that you're waiting to see if something better will come along before you decide. Plus, someone was nice enough to invite you to something, don't you think you should be nice enough to respond, regardless of the fact that you might hate evite?

What do you guys think about evite? What do you like or dislike about it? How is it changing the way we socialize?

Hey, here's something awesome!

2007-01-31T10:24:00.000-07:00

One of Kev's good friends from home's film, Padre Nuestro, won best U.S. Drama at the Sundance Film Festival last week.

You can click here to see Chris talking about his film.

....Umm, yeah, OK. So this is HUGE.

Congratulations Chris!

I went out on a school night.

2007-01-30T09:19:00.000-07:00

You want to know what was even more awesome than The Be Good Tanyas last night?

(They were awesome. So very awesome.)

The fact that I WON TICKETS to The Be Good Tanyas last night. So we went....for free!

(Awesome.)

People, this girl wins everything! I swear.

The first band was Pee Pee, who...well, I like Pee Pee and all, but they just didn't put on a very coordinated show. I mean, who can really blame them for that....there's about 10 of them! But...still, they were OK. I WILL STILL STAND UP FOR PEE PEE! (Kev said he "knows people who would think they were just a bunch of noise." Hmmm.) And then the band after, Holly SomethingorOther, was not much more than BORING. And adding to the boring.....rows of chairs. Snnnnnnore. People just sat down the whole time. And also? People sat down and SNUGGLED. AT A CONCERT. So annoying, watching people nuzzle and neck to the music. I hate PDA. I also hate when a guy dances all up on the back of the girl and doesn't let her move around on her own....I mean, really - can't the guy dance by himself without having to cling to his woman?

Moving on...

I could have sat and listened to the Be Good Tanyas all night long...I just love their music. I had heard 2 of them were sick, so that affected me at first, thinking they were just hating life up there. But I got over it....and they were so great. I would have paid the $25 but.....I'm glad I didn't have to.

Also glad I didn't have to: work this morning. I have a wine headache, thanks to the happy hour special at My Brother's Bar. I order a house Cab and over comes 2 full-brimming glasses. And WHO AM I to turn that shit down??

So...now I am prepping up to cram Biggie Purrs in his hateful crate and take him to the vet for more insulin and some tests. Also looking forward to my dentist appointment this evening. There will even be some work in there in between me and BP's version each of HELL. (I hate the dentist.)

It's shaping up to be a 2-star day, y'all. Bleckk. But The Be Good Tanyas! They rocked!

Knitting goods.

2007-01-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

It is with great pleasure that I am now able to do this:

-~~Learn how to knit (finally!)~~ and ~~take a wine class~~

OK. Well, almost. Thanks to the ever-crafty and ever-generous AfricanKelli, I am closer than ever to fulfilling this resolution now that I have THE GOODS:

Isn't this cute? People, I don't know how this girl does it! Thanks, darlin'!!

Dying here.

2007-01-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

Hi. It's Saturday morning and I am at work. I am training students. Well, I am hiding in my office while I am supposed to be training students. We had a drunken after-party at our house last night that involved a fire, a frozen pizza, and, I think, some tequila. Someone or something peed on the carpet. I didn't go to bed until 2:30 am. I woke at 7. I am tired. I can't find my cell phone. I have a dried out, flat morsel of ganja in my pocket that a man named Jose gave me at the bar. I might try it later. Or not. Maybe I'll make a cookie.

Just thought I'd share. Bye!

How to Survive the Cold: Winter Edition.

2007-01-25T15:09:00.000-07:00

The winter blahs are in full-force over here at rosalicious. It's kind of funny though...I'm eating my healthful salads & soups, getting my workouts in, doing things, making plans, staying busy...but still. BLAH. I am feeling wholly and unenthusiastically BLAH.

And....I'm cold! Wah!

(OK, I know today is like, a freaking balmy 55 degrees....)

Two summers ago I made a list of ways to survive the heat, back when it was really really fucking hot out. Oh Jesus and the Mary Chain (guess the inspiration!)....weren't THOSE the days?!

Anyway, my sanity is kind of at stake here and so, by way of cheering my cold little self up, I present to you....

HOW TO SURVIVE THE COLD: WINTER EDITION

Spend a lot of money on wine at Corks.

Drink what you buy. Drink it every night.

Cashmere, baby. An investment!

Hot springs.

And hot baths!

Use really scrumptious bubbles in those baths.

Use lots of lube.

In fact, attend a Passion Party. Or two!

Turn on your heated car seats. (I have these. They kick ass!)

Make chili. Preferably Cincinnati-style.

Wear Ugg boots without fear of looking like a fashion-follower. This is COLORADO, people. Uggs are acceptable here! Right?

Get a pedicure, even though no one will really see your feet. The hot water and foot massage....ummmmm.

Listen to Ray Charles.

Watch too much reality TV. Real World Denver and American Idol will fit the bill.

Go to bed at 8:30 PM without feeling like a loser.

Shop online.

Go bowling.

Make all your doctor and dentist appointments. Get any procedures done.

Eat at a really, really expensive restaurant.

Go to a Nuggets game. Especially if there is one where everyone is wearing all white - creepy!

Snowboard at least 5 times.

Snowshoe at least twice.

Cross-country ski. Maybe.

Keep your Christmas lights up until every last bit of snow melts. All the cool kids are doing it!

Sit around a fire. There's one in my backyard if you need one.

Buy an assortment of birthday cards so you'll have them on hand all year long.

Join the frequent flier program of every airline that flies through your town.

Plan a warm weather trip - like, Belize. Right baby?

Meet for happy hour at the dirtiest, diviest bar you can find.

Spring for a facial.

Shred your old bills, statements, pay stubs, etc. from last year.

Plot and plan how to spend that big fat tax refund.

Make a "cheer-up rosalicious" playlist on your new ipod with all your very favorite songs.

Avoid your blog. It's OH-KAY.

Go to your local mexican restaurant and only speak spanish.

Whine a lot and act like a baby.

Get hot and sweaty on the dance floor.

Give the birthday girl who was sick on her birthday extra-special treatment. I hear she really likes tequila and big fancy earrings.

Act like you don't care about Valentine's Day.

Make a gift to charity and warm thy heart!

Write everything in a cheery spring-colored ink, like pink! Weeeee!

Burn candles every evening.

Stay updated on your homeless sorority date.

Thank god you aren't homeless.

Clean out your closets.

See how long you can grow your leg hair before breaking down and shaving.

Sing karaoke.

Get drunk.

Service to thy memory.

2007-01-24T14:53:00.000-07:00

I'm only making this post so I can link back to it on my sidebar...

Anyway, whatever. Like you care. Basically I want to keep a record of books I've read - starting NOW - since I just went to the library and cannot for the life of me remember what the hell I've read lately. Sooo....

BOOKS READ IN 2007:

The Memory Keeper's Daughter, Kim Edwards. (currently reading.) This book so far is, um, kind of cheesy and far-fetched. As if that stops me?

And hell, why not movies too?

MOVIES SEEN IN 2007:

Hustle and Flow
The Devil Wears Prada
The Producers (god, terrible!)
Strangers With Candy
Nacho Libre

What else can I list? Restaurants? Days I worked out? Times I got laid? Trips to Target? Hmmmmm....

Yo. I promised.

2007-01-21T18:03:00.000-07:00

Helllllooooo from sore-tailbone/whiplashed-neck central. Or, Kevin and I went snowboarding yesterday.

Somehow the camera never made it out of the car and onto the slopes with us, so all's we have to show from our day at Copper Mountain is this:

A picture from the parking lot. Exciting! I think Sara has some pictures of me hitting some sick kickers on her cell phone though...ha ha.

Doggie porn, you say? How about Most Well Behaved Dogs Ever?

Looking at this picture, you'd never know that just minutes earlier there was a big old tussle and hump session. Note the "pink princess pony" sitting so fairly in the middle. I can't believe that cheap old target dollar aisle toy has lasted this long!

No, mama. I'm not going to show all your internet people how much I like to hump Bear.

Why is it that men are so good at Breakfast?

Kev whipped us up an artichoke-feta cheese omelet with toast. And because I have him so incredibly well-trained, he is feverishly washing the skillet BEFORE we eat.

Baby, put the camera DOWN and come eat.

I think Biggie Purrs wishes HE had an omelet too.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to fucking bang my head against the wall. THIS COMPUTER SUCKS.

Phantom realizations that ipods really do kick ass, and that I should probably cut off this song now.

2007-01-19T20:55:00.000-07:00

I feel like what I'm about to type is going to come off as stereotypical and pompous and bitchy and kind of mean and maybe a little drunk.

I freaking LOVE my ipod!

(Now, that's only to soften the blow...ha!)

It's always kind of annoyed me, the bloggers who write stuff like "my ipod began to play Harvest Moon by Neil Young and it reminded me of Bob, who used to take me out for Thai every Thursday..." and really, instead of me reading into it as, Oh Bob! An old memory! An old flame!, I see only: the fucking stereotypical Mac geek strolling down the street in an ironic artsy T-shirt with earbuds stuffed beneath side-swept messy hair and checkered Vans slipper kicks. WHO CARES ABOUT THE FUCKING IPOD? Cheesy.

Hey. Being honest.

BUT.

Let me tell you a few things. A) I own shirts from Threadless too, and they kick ass. (Especially yours, Karen! And I'm kind of sad I'm not out with you guys, but we have to get up at the crack and I know myself, I have no cut-off sensor whatsoever, so home with wine it is!) B) Macs frustrate me to no end, but hell if they don't get the job done on some verrrry pretty ads for me and my program and C) I prefer side-swept messy hipster hair to a buzz cut ANYDAY.

(Ooops, Kev has a rather buzz-like cut. Sorry babe!)

And now, D) the big reveal: I freaking LOVE my ipod!

And...too bad I already said that.

I do. I am in love with all of it. I JUST bought my first song off itunes. In fact, I've bought 3 already and given that I'm on my ??th glass of wine, I wouldn't put another 5 or 6 past me. It is so addicting! Music has NEVER been so easy. I take back all my calling of ipod-reflecting bloggers cheeseballs.

People! I am eating my cheese!

So I bought the new Shins song: Phantom Limb. I think Kev is ready to strangle me because I've listened to it 20 times so far. Actually, he might not even notice as he is tearing the house apart looking for his ski goggles...anyway, I love this song! It might even make me go see The Shins on the 15th!

Now I am hearing "Eyes" by Rogue Wave, because alright? I heard it on a movie called Just Friends. I think Ryan Reynolds is HOT and Alanis is very lucky and I really did think that movie was incredibly cute. Amy Smart too. So I bought the song - that's what's so AWESOME about 99 cent songs, you don't have to buy the whole album and it's instant gratification!!!

All about instant gratification.

Any other recommendations of repeat-inducing songs?

One more bit of music news: The Be Good Tanyas, who are also one of my favorite bands EVER, play at Cervantes on the 29th. As far as I know, and I would know, this is the first time they've played anywhere I've lived....I am a HUGE HUGE fan. And guess who opens? PEE PEE! Y'all oughta know, I mean go.

Naughty girl.

2007-01-19T16:06:00.000-07:00

Lucy has a friend over this weekend, a "friend" on whom she has an insatiable crush. I say insatiable because my girl is A TART. A full-on ho. A slut. A tease.

Mama's baby is one straight-up little horn dog.

Lucy simply cannot get enough of THE HUMP. Although her doggie boyfriend is 3 times bigger than she, somehow she still manages to get him laid out on his back, her crotch gyrating in his face. I am repulsed!

(But would it be bad to say I'm also a smidge proud? Go girl! Dominate!)

Anyway, last night Lucy didn't sleep a wink. Consequently, neither did I. I woke up the first time to scold Bear, who I thought was having separation anxiety or something because all I could hear was the TAP TAP CLICK CLICK of dog paws prancing around on the hardwood floors in our room. But no! Bear was asleep at Kevin's feet. It was LUCY who was maniacally pacing the room. She was so keyed up by Bear's presence (although clearly Bear could've cared less). It went on. And on. And on. And since we have no door on our room as it is of a loftish quality, there was no reprieve.

I am getting rather tired of being tired.

But hey, at least someone's getting some. Doggie porn, anyone?

(I only say that because I realize I haven't taken any pictures since NEW YEARS, which is so unlike me. I'll try to deliver this weekend. But yes, since non-stop HUMP is currently one of the key happenings in our casa, there may be some pictures of that. Just warning ya.)

Bitchmoan. Oh, and baby news.

2007-01-17T15:56:00.000-07:00

Yummy: This clementine I'm eating.

Yucky: The nasty soggy oatmeal bowls sitting back in the work kitchen sink. I wish people would freaking WASH their shit...it looks like someone vomited in there! *I* eat oatmeal here every morning too and I've never had the need to "soak" my bowl...sick.

I'm easily grossed out.

I'm also easily annoyed. Like today at the gym. To me, it isn't a real workout unless I'm pretty damn close to sore as hell the next day. Well, on Wednesdays I've started taking a class called "Boot Camp" and last Thursday, hell yes! I was so sore I could barely walk! However, I overheard some of the ladies bitching to the fitness coordinator after class about "how hard it was" and "there was too much running" and wah wah WAH. So this week? LAME. I barely broke a sweat today, thanks to the whiny bitch who doesn't seem to understand the class is called BOOT CAMP. The class is SUPPOSED to kick your ass.

Who am I, anyway, to talk about whiny bitches? I just had a pair of flipping UGG BOOTS delivered on my door step. And I wouldn't even HAVE to wear the Uggs if it weren't so effing icy and cold out!

(OK, kind of psyched about the Uggs. They are so warm and fuzzy. Am I a loser?)

So yeah, nothing is really going on in my life today.

Wait! The baby news!

Were you ever so tackily scrolling down to see if it was I cooking a bun in the oven? Course not. That would be too predictable. My friend J just had a sweet little baby boy and my friend A just learned she is expecting one...ummm, well 50% chance it's a boy. I have so many hot mama friends.

In which we accept rides from perfect strangers.

2007-01-14T19:07:00.000-07:00

Well, another Saturday night in D-town chewed me up and spit me out.

Lets's all roll our eyes and sigh the words together: rosalicious is hungover.

But fun was had! I started the evening slugging big old glasses of wine at Hot Doctor Wife's Passion Party. (If you go over there, you will see Hottie herself modeling a product....but don't get too excited..it's not a product actually being USED, sickos.)and finished it riding down Broadway in the back of some random dude's truck.

And the Gourds? Awesome. I danced my bodacious bootie off. Some guy on the dance floor even gave our friend Kev a prescription pill bottle of weed. How nice is that? It was super rocking, even though the Mayor didn't show this time. I was disappointed as I was really looking forward to drunkenly commending him for his performance with all the storms. Did y'all know that mayors get fired over snowstorms? I mean, really. It's not his fault my road is still a sucky mess of ice and potholes and ruttedness...for the most part. People need to cut the guy some slack.

But back to the random dude's truck. This is funny. On the way out of the concert we befriended a group of 5 ladies (for our friend Kev, of course!) and all piled into a cab trying to get to the Skylark Lounge. Well, for reasons I can't recall, we hopped out on some random corner and ended up at some bar called the Irish Rover instead. Our time there is hazy....but I do know that once we're done sucking down more liquor, we go outside to try to find another cab to get us all home. Along comes a guy with a truck who says he's starting a driving service, so the girls and I all pile into the back amongst a big schmoosh of blankets and Kevin (my Kev) gets in the front and gets the guy's phone number and even calls it, for security. He's so good like that! Apparently we get safely dropped off at Kev's in Wash Park and this morning we are still there, with me asking: why the hell were we cruising down Broadway late night in the back of a strange truck?

So yes, after our big night out, it has been a day of headache and woe-is-me. But at least I'm still laughing! I woke from my 2 hour nap to Kevin rooting around in my bag for "the Bullets",the purchase I made last night. What do you want those for, they're not in yet! I said. And Kev goes, and I quote: I want to cram one up my butt while I watch football today. I just thought that was one of the most hilariously potty-humored thing I've heard from him in a long long time. (Sorry though, Ma, for that image.)

And now? I do believe there is a big old greasy pizza at our door....toodles!

Cheater McGeater.

2007-01-12T15:20:00.000-07:00

A quick note about resolutions:

I know. My list of resolutions is freakishly long. If I were the kind of person, who, say, sends herself into fits of depressed rage come the end of December for not getting each and every goddamn thing crossed off the year's resolution list, well...then I'd probably do best to limit my resolutions to a good one or two. The thing is....I LIKE having a lot of resolutions. I look at my list as a kind of road map for the year. I don't have to take every route.....you know, big fucking deal if I don't make that left turn down "take a hut trip" lane. The turn was there, I considered it, but for whatever reason it didn't happen, so what. In my eyes, I didn't fail....I just took a different way. I think making 10 gazillion resolutions is better than making none at all just because you're scared of failure.

/small, kinda preachy rant.

Now. That's not really where I wanted to go with all that, it just clearly had been stewing. I really wanted to come over here and say NANNY NANNY BOO BOO...I've already fulfilled a resolution! Look at me! Look how motivated and.....resolute I am! Look, look, have a look, WOULD YOU??

- Learn how to knit (finally!) and ~~take a wine class~~.

Yep. I just enrolled us in a wine class called "Wines of the Southern Hemisphere." I am psyched! This class is all about the wines of South America, Autralia, and South Africa. I love me some serious Malbec! Yuuummmm, can't wait!

But, can I make just a tiny little confession?

Do you ever make a to-do list and then write something on it that's already been done just so you can go ahead and cross it off right away?

Yeah? Me too. I just did that.

Kevin gave me a gift certificate to The Cook Street School of Fine Cooking for my birthday, so I basically already knew the wine class was a shoe-in. I know, I'm such a cheater.....but I hope you'll admire my, ahem, RESOLVE just the same.

Happy Friday! Stay warm y'all!

Mugging 'dem be so easy.

2007-01-11T09:09:00.000-07:00

Let me just share with you a "comment" that was written by a student on an application for a fundraising job in our office:

i be like taking cash money for da school whenever, be like mugging 'dem be so easay. School profit RISE! Plus I be havin' a good GPA, and you know I be like 'da man since i got ya for CSM 101 last semester that class was da bomb!

Dude, you be hired!

Another rosalicious endorsement.

2007-01-10T16:52:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite bands EVER is playing Saturday night at the Gothic: The Gourds!

I....LOVE...THEM. Madly. They are awesome.

Also, an old Fort Collins fave, Drag The River, is opening.

It's going to be so damn good, I'm even going to brave the cold arctic wind and snow to get there.

(Plus, hopefully I'll already be warm and buzzed from a certain sex toy party that's happening that afternoon...)

If you go, you might just get to meet Hick, too!

YEEHAW!

Mine still hasn't been posted...

2007-01-09T15:42:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else love PostSecret as much as I do?

Look, I've done gone and made some resolutions!

2007-01-07T11:10:00.000-07:00

Well. Hi. I am a little embarrassed at the patheticness of the last 2 posts....but fear not, rosalish is back. Thanks for all the birthday wishes and whatnot, both to my blogger buds who commented and to others of you who emailed or called or just sent a good b-day vibe my way.....XOXOX.

We finally got around to celebrating yesterday. Serious insomnia notwithstanding (another sad sad story for another sad sad day), Kevin and I went SHOPPING. TOGETHER. WITHOUT ANY MELTDOWNS. We both hate shopping, but yesterday was actually kinda fun. We shared dressing rooms("Baby, those chinos are TAPERED." "Wow, the butt is awfully snug.") and offered pearls of wisdom ("Rose, that rug is not going to fit in the office." "Yes it is!" "No it's not!"). I think we've entered a new era, y'all. One that's called: Kev and Rose are no longer starving students and YAY, let's go out and blow money on things we probably don't really need.

(Whatever, we needed that rug - sorry, but I finally hit my limit on the number of pet pee, poo, and barf stains...I mean, seriously.)

So, one rug, a pair of awesome green cords, some sweaters, and a pair of shoes later, I hit my limit on the shopping too so we headed over to the Cherry Cricket for some lunchtime provisions. Being sick really does a number on the old tolerance so I was cut off at ONE. Ha! Beer, that is. Judging from the size 8 cords I had to purchase, I am cut off from CHEESE FRIES too. Lord.

For dinner we went to Vesta Dipping Grill. Vesta was kind of an on-the-fly choice, we made a reservation while having a glass of wine at Paris Wine Bar. (Don't you love all the restaurant linky action?) But I'm so glad we went. Awhile back, an old friend had said it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be, and so I always thought Vesta was just another overhyped Lodo hotspot. But it really was awesome! YUM. A friend of mine who I hadn't seen in months works there, so it was great to see her too. Which makes me realize that I need to put a little more effort into maintaining relationships, which leads me to...

Shit to do in 2007! Yep, new leaves, overturned stones, bygones and all that crap. So, here we go...things to focus on now that I've been officially released from the grips of Birthday Cold Hell:

- Be a better friend...by remembering birthdays (OK, I admit: I'm already really good at remembering birthdays), returning calls, making plans, having more girls' nights out. I feel a little like my life is lacking in day-to-day girlfriendship. I have awesome best girls and many great friends, but there are friends that I've let fall by the wayside, and I hate that. I know it's not possible to maintain friendships with everyone, nor is everyone even worth it. I lost a few friends this past year, some of who just weren't positive relationships for me anyway. I guess my point is that I want to nurture and strengthen the terrific friendships I already have and meet more inspiring, artistic, thinking, strong, unique women.

- Alright. Men friends are OK too ;)

- Be a better lover and partner. I told Kev that this year I want to make our relationship the best it can possibly be: more sex, more fun, more adventure, more communication and a deeper connection on all levels. We're really doing better than ever, so this shouldn't be hard. But there's always room, you know!

- Save Money. Heh. The New year's Cliche!

- Oh wait, that's Lose Weight. I really don't want to lose weight so much as get in even better shape and eat more wisely and healthfully. There are always areas for improvement on these fronts, but for the most part (and thanks to last year's resolutions) I've been doing A-OK. (Albeit the holiday pudge.)

- Stop letting Lucy sleep in our bed. I think her sneaky little squeeze-up-in- between-us-in-the-middle-of-the-night routine is wreaking havoc on my ZZZZs. Plus, Cesar would totally kick our ass if he knew we let her get all alpha on us like that. The girl has a perfectly good 6 foot super LoveSac to sleep on, so from now on: our little princess is banished from the big old bed of sin!

- Keep in better touch with family. It's so hard to keep tabs (yet so easy to let time pass) when you live 2,000 miles apart. I need to try harder, especially with grandparents.

- Feed thy brain. Read more stimulating books, attend plays, discover new media, la dee daa. I keep telling myself I need to revisit the classics, it's just that beach reads are just so.....luscious. But they do absolutely nothing for my intellectual growth. I need challenge.

- Get outside my box. Break routine, live life, stay busy. Try new things without fear...OK, with fear, but fear that gets overcome with a little effort on my part.

- Learn how to knit (finally!) and take a wine class.

- Be more generous. Give to others. Volunteer with at least one organization.

- Take a hut trip.

- Look more pulled together. It's hard when you're someone who hates shopping, but I seriously need to build a wardrobe that makes me feel good about myself, rather than one that makes me run for the nearest pair of elastic-waisted jammie pants. This means investing in some high quality, classic, well-fitting garments. New undies and bras...yeah, need those too!

- Make those much-needed doctor's appointments...dermatologist, head doctor, podiatrist (fucking plantar wart - it will be the death of you this year!), acupuncturist. Biggie Purrs is in need of an (expensive as hell) appointment too!

- Pay off credit card. Easy-peasy...my balance isn't all that much. Still. Financial discipline is something that constantly needs to be kept in check. Dawg.

- Tackle something that's going to be really hard. Can't tell you what, just know that it's going to suck.

- Have a baby. (Just checking to see if you're still reading! Ha ha.)

- Have more baby-making, sans actual baby.

- Practice yoga more often.

- Find good art for the walls.

- Run 3 times a week. Ponder something longer than a 10K.

- On that note, simply ponder more. Silence is good. Less TV.

JESUS LORD, AM I DONE YET?

- Be nicer. Don't talk so much shit. Don't be such a gossip. These sound trite, as they're all starting to sound by now, but I do really mean these in a big way. I sometimes feel like such a rotten person, all negative and low self-esteemed. I want to emanate good energy and be less judgmental and more accepting. Everyone, even the most fucked-up, mean, snobbish people, offers something to learn from. Plus, people are inherently good, I'd like to believe.

- Fewer hangovers. More control over drinking maybe is more like it. The anxiety I feel after a bender is crushing. See above: I've been known to run my mouth like a big ol' beotch. I hate the not remembering and the wondering and the imagining of all the evil things that slipped from betwixt my wine-stained lips...

- Know that I am not defined by my past and start living that way.

- Stop worrying what the hell everyone thinks all the time! Stop being so anxious and stop the constant worry of someone not liking me! Already I'm all twitchy and nervous about posting all these personal promises to myself for all the 'nets to see. I want to live more feely and openly (excepting the practicality of job security, of course), with less of the constant freak-out over baring my soul. If you could even call this baring...whatever. Anyway, point being: IT IS OK IF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE ME.

- Finally, because I can't think of another goddamn thing I could possibly improve myself on, it's time to consult the expert:

"Baby! What is one last thing I need to resolute?"

(Waiting for something really insightful and exciting that will make a really witty ending)

"Fix your sleeping issues!"

Alrighty then. A sleeping pill addiction for 2007 it is! Night-night ;)

Over it.

2007-01-05T14:36:00.000-07:00

It is snowing.
Again.
I am sick.
Kevin is sick.
Yesterday was the first day of my 31st year.
And I was sick.

AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dude, I am so ready to feel NORMAL again. I know, cry me a goddamn river but JESUS! I am so sick of snow and ice and cold and wind and snot and aches and pains and fever and being indoors. Anyone with me, or am I just being a big fat crybaby?

Yuck.

2007-01-03T11:47:00.000-07:00

Today I have something I haven't had in over 3 years:

A FUCKING COLD!

UGGGGGHHHHHH. I hate being sick. It's really quite easy to see how it happened though- lack of sleep, drinking, travel, etc. A bonafide post-holiday immune system meltdown, is what this is. HATE.

The worst part, as I lie here on my couch in the gloom of a yucky Colorado winter day, is that last year today I was here.

Ummmhmmm, I know.

Out with the old, in with the new.

2007-01-02T20:09:00.000-07:00

Since Kevin is taking down our crispier-than-thou dead Christmas tree, I figured I may as well do my own purge of the holidays and be done with it, so here you go. Holiday Picture Purge!

On Christmas Eve the family got all horsey. This guy was such a sweetie - he followed us around like a dog.

This is my cutie pie sister Sophie and my mama.

This is one of my BBFs from way back when, Patsy!

On "the lawn" @UVa.

Another BBF from even MORE way back when, Jess!

More horse, more sisterly love :)

TJ. And the Rotunda. So classic Charlottesville.

New Year's @ the Moosejaw.

Making noise.

More pictures, naturally, can be found here and here.

There. Done. Bye-bye holidays, hello 2007!

In recovery.

2007-01-02T15:04:00.000-07:00

I've been avoiding the blog for the last few days because I haven't had the urge or the energy to come up with some insightful post of reflections on the past year and what I hope for the new year ahead.

(Hell, I haven't had the urge to write anything insightful for weeks now.)

I'm tired. Really super effing tired. Despite all the snow days we had off work, this holiday season kicked my ass and kicked it harder than usual.

There are some things that I eventually want to pontifcate on, a mental list that I'm checking and checking twice of ways I can improve my life and make it better in the upcoming year, some pictures to share with you.....but for right now, all I want to do is rehydrate and sleep.

Definite resolution for 2007: fewer hangovers.

A Kountry Kristmas.

2006-12-30T18:38:00.000-07:00

When it comes to the holidays, our families couldn't be more different. Wait, give me a second while I think real hard to come up with one single similarity about our family Christmases. Ummmmm, kay. Can't think of one.

Me: Baby?

K: Yeah?

Me: Can you think of one similarity between our family Christmases?

K: They are both spent with big families. And there is a big old ham at both. There is football watchin'...

Me: Wait! I did think of one....it's a good one. Drunk uncles of the redneck persuasion!

This was Kevin's first Christmas in Virginia with my family and my first in the last 5 years. My family is big (as in, there are lots of them), loud, chaotic, extremely funny, and parties hard. There really haven't been any set traditions in the last decade and usually the Christmas festivities just feel like one big old free for all when it comes to food and gifts. I love the unstuffy throw-downess of it.

Some of the standout moments:

- Giving my mom and stepfather a digital camera and my stepfather giving my mom one too. Sophie claimed ours as her own (Rosie got me I digital camera!) and ended up breaking it 24 hours later. The broken digital camera is now back in Denver with us.

- My mom giving Kevin my brother's bag of gifts and then having to take them back when she realized my brother only got one gift. (Kinda bummed, there were some super cute pillow cases in there!)

- I finally joined the year freaking 2006 and got an ipod. I also got some organic cotton socks, a necklace, a cookbook, an Eagle Creek travel thingy, some candles, ummm, can't remember what else. Oh.....yeah. A joke gift. A 1970s grow-your-own-desert garden someone got for .25 at a yard sale. And only because my mom claims to have read my blog entry about regifting. It also made it back to Denver.

- Going to take care of my mom's horses at my uncle's on Christmas morning and one of my other uncles already drinking solo cups of cheap red wine (it was 11 am). Sophie said he was being "weird." It was also pouring down rain.

- The dead coyote hanging in my uncle's barn that he shot. (I have 5 or 6 uncles, in case you're wondering...so when I say "my uncle" it does not necessarily mean the same one, though to Kevin, they were all one in the same, he couldn't keep them all straight.)

- The funky cedar tree Christmas trees that everyone has in Charlottesville (this one is compliments of Kevin). Hey, it's what grows in this part of Virginia. My mom just cuts hers off their land out in the country.

- Shots of apricot brandy. There are always shots of something. Rosie's family likes liquor. My own mother declared me "the drinking queen" to one drunk uncle. I don't know whether to embrace my family heritage or recoil in shame...

- My family's white elephant game. Some of the gems: socks, socks, socks, socks. Also, flashlights, umbrellas, gloves, a lava lamp, captain morgan glasses (I got, and they've already been regifted...), drill bits, some fancy soap from the early 70s (another regift compliments of my mother). Everyone gets really dramatic and showcases their selected gift with the utmost importance and flair and then offers running witty commentary on what others' are getting....totally fun.

- Five thousand pounds of meat to eat. Much of it actually shot and killed by members of my own family. People! Kev ate venison!

- My uncle getting shit from my cousin about dating girls in their 20s. "But I just want a friend." Ummm, sorta creepy. But funny.

- Going out until 3:30 am Christmas night with Patsy. We went to Miller's with a random assortment of folks and discovered that over half the table had a CO connection. K left us girls around midnight and we went on to Orbit, another bar that, without fail, offers a high school reunion-like environment. After a Jager Bomb (that's for you, Kath!), I approached a guy who was, like, the cockiest (read: hottest) guy in our school (and whom I also hooked up with once) and said: did I go to high school with you? Loser! (Him, not me). Always good to see those who were "the bomb" in HS and know that they don't have half the life you do.

Alrighty, that about wraps up Christmas. And that's only one day! I'm telling you, there is really never a dull moment when I go home. Never.

Snafu-free travels. Or, Kevin's quick thinking and smooth rapport saved Christmas.

2006-12-29T10:06:00.001-07:00

HEY!

We're home!

It is a blessed fucking miracle that we made it to Virginia and back. Last Saturday morning at DIA was unlike any airport experience I have ever had. We got there 3 hours in advance and it still wasn't enough time. We waited in the line for Frontier for over an hour, waited in security for another hour, then were told that we still had another 2 hours in security to go. The line wrapped all the way around the entire terminal! Maybe this is old news to some of you. But jesus! It was total insanity. Luckily we both got through to Frontier on our cell phones while in line to ask what we should do, because clearly we were not making our flight. My lady said there was nothing we could do, but Kevin's lady told us to get out of line and go back upstairs and find a Frontier agent immediately. So, that's what we did and lo and behold, Kevin found a very nice lady named ROSIE who walked us straight past everyone in the 3 hour security line and straight through to our gate. I literally cried. What a relief. Unfortunately our plane was half empty because of all the people still stuck in lines.

If you're ever in that situation heed my advice: Do not wait in line! Go find someone and tell them you need to get on your flight PRONTO. Apparently they walk people through all the time. Well, not all the time....Rosie told us she wasn't supposed to do it since they were so slammed with people, but she "wasn't doing anything at the moment, so why not?" She also had just gotten in and hadn't been stranded or working during all the apeshit closed-airport craziness, so she was still in cheerful mode.

And guess when we got back? Last night at 8 PM. They did not cancel our flight, thankfully. But let me tell you, I was freaking out on landing. There was close to no visability, turbulence, and we landed on straight up 3 inches of snow, no pavement in sight. I seriously do not know how they were getting planes in and out of there.

Anyway, I've never been so happy to be home in my life! We picked Lucy up this morning from the dawg pound and now we're all cozied up at home once again, as neither of us had to work today because of the snow. By the time I get back to work I will have had 2 weeks off, but only have had to take 2 vacation days.

Oh yeah, and the rest of the trip was good, but you'll have to hear about that later.

Another afternoon of me and Big O.

2006-12-22T16:14:00.000-07:00

OK, so this marks the 3rd afternoon in a row I've parked myself on the couch in front of Oprah with a big yummy glass of Syrah. I could totally get used to this.

NOT.

(Once again, I thought Borat was hilaaaaaarious.)

Clearly I didn't have to work again today. Uggh, I'm going stir crazy! I ventured out this afternoon, though, to two of the worst possible places: Target and Applejack Liquors. Actually, Target wasn't that bad. It was Applejack where all the mayhem was happening. They guy in front of me bought $586.03 worth of liquor! I, on the other hand, got money back in the form of $75 cash....deposit from the keg that NO ONE DRANK. Note to self: if you get a keg, make that the ONLY thing to drink. People will ALWAYS choose the hard stuff.

(An aside: I just love that the American Idol girl is nominated for a Golden Globe for her role in Dreamgirls. Such a nice story. Speaking of nice stories, while watching the Today Show this morning I cried a huge veil of tears over a dog that saved his owner who fell while running in Utah. Luuuuuuucy. Mama loves you. Mama is so sorry you have to go back to The Daily Wag this week. Mama promises we will watch 8 Below again next week.)

(Holy fuck I am watching too much TV.)

Get me out of this house!

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will leave the house. I will leave the house for 5 days, to be exact. Tomorrow all will go well for us whilst flying the friendly skies. Tomorrow we will not be grouchy or angry or call Denver a "third world country" like some mean lady just did on TV. Tomorrow we will accept our Christmas fate.

In the meantime, I'm off to oprah.com to enter her ticket giveaway sweepstakes. I know, you're all so smart: I'm exactly the kind of girl you think I am.

Cabin fever not yet in full force, but getting there.

2006-12-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

Last night we (I) decided to give Lucy and Biggie Purrs their stockings. Here's Lucy surrounded by all her new toys - she particularly loves the pink stuffed poodle and has been carrying it around for the past 24 hours.

Purrs looks less than thrilled with his loot. He tells me he's just too old for toys and would prefer some straight up kitty crack, thank you very much.

Front porch last night around 7 PM.

Back porch yesterday around 3 PM.

Back porch today at 10 am. 24 inches!!

Lucy still got her nightly walk - she loves this shit!

Shoveling snow. His half, anyway. I've yet to get out to do mine. But I will - it's my workout today!

Home sweet snowed in home!

Obviously no one had to go to work today. On a gloomy old day in February, this would have rocked, but now, with it so close to the holidays, I'm just feeling antsy. So much to do! We fly out Saturday and at first I was like - oh, we're golden, but now? I don't know. DIA is still closed. The mail isn't running either and nothing is open for the boyfriend who hasn't done any shopping. Errr! So typical. I guess I can always blast some Xmas tunes, wrap my gifts, pack, clean the house, and continue to entertain you with more boring pictures of snow.

The state of things.

2006-12-20T10:27:00.000-07:00

Dudes, where to start? So much has gone on over the past week. The one thing that hasn't budged, however, is my perpetual state of stress and grinchiness.

GRINCHINESS. As in, wake me up when this crap is over.

At this point I kind of feel like I've missed the boat on regaling you with tales of Kevin's dad and his girlfriend and their visit, along with anecdotes of their general lack of desire to try anything new. (And I can't help but ask: who the hell hates Mexican food?) I mean, they are nice and all but have absolutely nothing in common with us. Believe me, I kept this in mind as I tried very hard not to get offended at his dad's comments about my cooking. Canned and boxed foods are just not things that appear on my menus.

I could tell you about our graduation party, but I sure as hell don't remember much of it. Once again, I set myself up for disappointment. I know that those who came said they had a great time, and if it weren't my party I would have too. But, there were several people whom we consider pretty good friends who either RSVPed yes and didn't show, or read the evite and couldn't be bothered to respond. I took this really personally for some reason. I know it's a busy time of year and maybe I should have given them a personal phone call, but still. I can see if you've read the damn evite and as long as you've opened it you may as well respond! (These people don't read this blog regularly so don't think I'm being all passive aggressive!) But I am really glad that those of you who came, did =) I probably just shouldn't have skipped dinner and moved straight into those tequila shots.

And I could go on about the stress of packing up and boarding Lucy and paying someone to shoot up Biggie Purrs and flying clear across the country AGAIN for over a thousand dollars, but really, I do care greatly about seeing my family (most of them, anyway) and old friends and once I get there it'll be super fun, provided no one waves a shot of Reposado beneath my nose. (Hear that, girls?)

Siggggggghhhhh. I go through this shit every year. At least next year there will be no travel. NO TRAVEL. Unless it's to Mexico.

Anyway. Oh my lands, y'all! We are having a BLIZZARD. Normally I hate snowstorms and the traffic and travel snarls it causes, but today we get to go home at lunch! I am going to drink wine at 3 PM and finish my crafting in my cozy warm house with my cozy warm pets and maybe watch Oprah, or a movie. And I will eat cookies and chex mix so I look nice and fat to all the people back home who haven't seen me in awhile! Snow days are nice, and I hope we get one tomorrow too.

**Snow Update**

Just got home and it is TREACHEROUS out there. Blowing snow and you can't see beyond the car in front of you. There are lots of cars off the side of the road and people not being able to stop, driving fast, sliding. I don't see how anyone with 4WD even made it. Thank god for my Subie!! I white-knuckled it all the way home, while at the same time silently cursing the fact that we even had to go in at all today. Totally a poor management call. And since practically everyone closed at lunch, it's basically rush hour out there. Kev's office already closed for tomorrow and mine better!

Oh the drama and hype of it all! They're dubbing this the "Holiday Blizzard" - cheese!!

More later, considering I'm trapped in the house for the next 24 hours. Unless Highland Tavern is open....heehee.

Finally we have free weekends together.

2006-12-19T10:30:00.000-07:00

he did it!
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

Yay Kev!

More later...

Joys of fundraising.

2006-12-15T14:07:00.000-07:00

This just in:

"UP YOUR FUCKING ASSES!! I JUST SPENT $3,465 TO HAVE MY LEFT FOOT AMPUTATED!!!! AND NOW YOU WANT MONEY!!!"

And that's one of the tamer ones I've gotten.

And so our crazy weekend begins.

2006-12-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

Guess where we went to dinner last night???

Hahhahhhhhhhhhhhha! Or, maybe I should say, guess who's in town?

Well, based on my previous post about RL, you could either conclude my dad's side of the family or Kevin's dad, but seeing as Kev is the one with the big milestone this weekend, let's go ahead and guess KEVIN'S DAD and HIS LADYFRIEND. Cha-ching!

And we totally weren't expecting them until today. But no, they called yesterday: We're in town! Annoying, as *I* had a bunch of stuff I wanted to do last night, but they insisted on taking us to Red Lobster. Which, of course, now you know how much we love Red Lobster...

They're also staying all the way out in the Federal Center/Lakewood. Um, we live downtown where there are like 20 gazillion hotels in a 5 mile radius! They wanted to save some money (Kev's dad is all about coupons and ARP discounts) and will only stay in a Hampton Inn, so Lakewood it was. At least they have a rental car.

Oooooh, I'm so bad. I'm not really allowed to whine and bitch because they're not even technically my in-laws.....yet! Ha ha. We're having them over for dinner tonight (salmon, potatoes au gratin, haricots verts, wine). On top of that, I've been busting my balls to get food purchased, the house cleaned, Xmas dealt with, the graduation party planned....there simply aren't enough hours in the day. And I haven't been to any of my classes (except yoga) this week, mainly because they're refinishing the floors at the gym, but also because of time and mittelschmerz, so I haven't been on my regular workout schedule either and now I feel like a big fat hoss.

Anyway, I don't know if anyone has seen the movie Just Friends, but I can't get a line from that movie out of my head, and it's good because it makes me laugh everytime I think of how Anna Faris said it:

YOUR NAMES ARE CLARK AND DARLA?

Merry Christmas to me!

2006-12-12T14:29:00.000-07:00

I just gave my Christmas present to myself. Get ready, it is a super exciting gift, one my self has been hot and heavily coveting for the past 3 years...

A new car windshield!

She loves it!

Speaking of super exciting gifts, I just talked to my mama, who informed me she was "wrapping up" stuff they didn't want around the house to give to all us kids. REGIFTER!* I had to tell her we didn't want a bunch of regifted crap, not because it's regifted, but because it's CRAP. We don't need anymore decorative shit, no more tchotchkes, throw pillows, knick knacks....CRAP. Only incredibly useful and/or entertaining stuff. Or original art - that's acceptable too.

Normally the woman has good taste, I'll give her that. My mom is an artsy person with lots of artsy friends...and you'd think her house was really cool if you saw it. However, I simply cannot forgive the time she unloaded a bunch of used CHRISTMAS stuff on me by including them in my birthday (which is January 4th by the way...mark your calendars!) package. Nope, I haven't gotten over that one. Sorry, Ma! Not allowed to sneak your unwanted stuff on me anymore!

Although, it is a fairly clever strategy for purging yourself of useless gew-gaws. If your gew-gaws are presented as a gift then one feels a stronger obligation to accept it, no? Even though you suspect it might be a regift? Well, not us. Not this year. Even though my mom spent a few minutes trying to sell me on the depression era glass shot glass set she had available, I said that if we were going to take anything off her hands we were going to have to SEE it first and actually CHOOSE what we wanted.**

Otherwise, it's gifts like new car windshields all the way, baby.

*Maybe it's not technically a regift if the item was never a gift in the first place. Maybe it's just a straight up used gift.

**Let me emphasize: this doesn't mean I'm too good for a regift. Hell, I'm all about recycling. I just don't want to be the middle man to the trash can, ya know?

Nada.

2006-12-11T11:40:00.000-07:00

Nothing too exciting to report today about the weekend, I'm afraid. We were the lamest of lame and clearly that lame has carried over into my Monday because

I GOT NOTHING.

Well, almost. Maybe I can muster a run-on paragraph devoid of any wit or humor. Maybe a bulleted list? Maybe a meme? Maybe a Christmas quiz? Maybe y'all can just go ahead and ask me some questions before I freak out on my own lack of charisma today.

Alright, a little run-down it is, but don't say I didn't tell you so:

On Friday night I basked in the glow of the tree and drank wine and wrote my Christmas cards. Hush now. I will always, always send handwritten Christmas cards. I will kill trees and I will burn fossil fuels and come hell or high water I will get my cards out. (And I know this is out of chronological order, but in a moment of temporary shopping apeshit craziness yesterday, I bought Where The Wild Things Are cards. MONSTERS for Christmas?! What the hell was I thinking? They're going back.)

On Saturday morning we had a YUMMY breakfast at Duo before morphing into the kind of people we hate- Americans! Ha ha. We went to THE MALL. Ick! Poo! Yuck! Remember what I said earlier about that shit?!? Lord. We temporarily went insane and then went to ANOTHER MALL. A strip mall! The best kind! Michael's Crafts! Ross! Old Navy! Whole Foods! Six and a half hours of bullshit! Then we came home and went directly up to North Star Brewery and got drunk. We crazy.

Yesterday was just as riveting. We cleaned. We watched a cheesy movie (Just Friends). We watched the Broncos get spanked. We ate pizza. I ironed. In fact, I even ironed Kevin's clothes too for today is his first day of work! I sent him off all crisp and professional-looking. Do YOU iron YOUR man's attire? And I gave him his graduation prezzy yesterday too...a Swiss Army watch. Dude, I am THE BEST girlfriend EVER.

Two very good reasons I don't work out on Wednesday nights.

2006-12-07T16:16:00.000-07:00

This morning I sat in a glass box (at times, sealed) for an hour with a noseclip fastened on my schnozz and a tube in my mouth (at times, with no air), breathing in all speeds, forms, and manners.

It was deeply traumatizing.

(But hey! I'm ready for snorkeling!)

The best part, however, might have been when, as I stood up to leave, the respiratory therapist goes, "You only weigh XXX? I wish I only weighed XXX." Was she implying that I look fatter than what I really weigh or just being borderline inappropriate?

* * *

C'mon fess up: who's watching The Real World Denver? Don't give me that Real World sucks crap (OK, Real World sucks), you know you want to see what kind of light MTV casts our wonderful city in...

I, of course, am watching. No surprise there. But god, I'm gonna be the first to tell you that it is soooooooo boring! The cast is lame. I hate the kid who wears pink wife-beaters and calls himself a playboy. He sucks and has bad posture. And the cheerleader girl - fugly. And the Jersey girl - ew. And so far, they haven't shown any place remotely interesting or unique to Denver. And what's with all the transition shots of horse-drawn carriages? Dude, this isn't Charleston. Horse-drawn carriages are not our thing. And there are lots of shots of the butt of the 16th Street Mall bus. Jesus, I freaking hate the 16th Street Mall! They totally aren't capturing the Denver scene at all.

That said, I'm still hooked.

Unyogic moments.

2006-12-06T16:36:00.000-07:00

I opted out of asskicking, er, kickboxing, last night and went back to the lovingkindness of my yoga studio. Except, it wasn't really all that lovingkind last night due to the BAD ENERGY factor of the chick sitting/laying/rolling around next to me.

She was new to class, and her husband too. Let's call her Valerie, because hell, that was her name. Val and her husband were all picture-perfect yoga-y with their fancy mats and yoga props and tie-dye outfits and biodegradable water bottles. (Fuck. Whatever. I like all that stuff too.) Now, usually most of us come in, lay down our mats, sit cross-legged, and chat with our neighbors while we wait for class to begin. They come in, lay down their mats, and whip out props and asanas and fancy breathing exercises, well before the class even begins.

(OK, I'm trying to set you up with an image here. Bear with me.)

One thing I love about my yoga class (and my teacher) is that it's a really good strong balanced Vinyasa practice, with serious instruction, but at the same time it's also laid-back and fun and people are encouraged to laugh and just go with it.

(Although last night a guy burst forth an enormous toot during a spinal roll and nobody laughed then.)

Anyway, once class got going, my teacher came over and made an adjustment to Val's pose (I believe it was down dog), to which Val responded, very loudly and very snippily, "I would appreciate it if you didn't touch me without my permission!"

I know this is normally a pretty reasonable request, you know, if you happen to walk down the sidewalk and someone random goes in for a hug. But c'mon now, I have never ever been to a yoga class where the teacher didn't make any hands-on adjustments. That's just the way yoga is. And please! It's not like she grabbed her va-jay-jay either. So after this, the chick proceeded to snarl and sneer all through her practice, tossing around her bad vibes like Luke Skywalker and that laser thingy he wields (OK sci-fi dorks, give it up, what's it called?!). She even moved her blanket away from me because I was touching it. And here I was, thinking she was SUCH a true yogi, what with all her expert-looking moves and gear.

Still, it doesn't top this unyogic moment: my mom was driving once and was on the receiving end of some serious road rage from another woman driver. Once my mom got to the traffic light and was next to the woman, she discovered that the lady with the case of road rage was none other than her YOGA TEACHER, whom she knew very well.

I know the true yogic thing to say/think is that yogis are people too. But hello? The irony is not lost on anyone.

Mardes.

2006-12-05T15:29:00.000-07:00

I am prone to winning things. Yeah, you just might call someone like me a WINNER. Ha! Seriously. Over the years I've won lots of things: concert tickets, money, books, shoes, even a go-cart. At a golf tournament this summer, I won a night's stay at The Table Mountain Inn and an accompanying gift certificate to its restaurant. So, this past Saturday night, Kev and I used it.

First of all, the shower in our room kicked ass. I got drunk and took a picture of it. I think I want a shower like this someday.

(I was drunk because at the hotel bar I whined that my margarita wasn't strong enough - well! It wasn't! - so the bartender poured a gallon and a half of Jose in it to shut me up....and....it worked. Or, didn't. Drunk people talk a lot. Right?)

Second of all, the free Aveda products! Picture worthy? Probably not, but Rosie like.

We brought Lucy. What, don't most parents bring their children to a romantic night's stay? No? Well what can I say? She likes to watch.

Kev wore his best sweater vest to dinner.

(Ha! I am such a liar. That picture is from Thanksgiving. I just wanted an excuse to use it. So I made one up. Still, Kev! Look how cute he is in that thing!)

Good thing he didn't put sweater-vest effort into this particular dinner, because we ate at a yucky restaurant that kind of resembled Shoney's (I feel bad saying that, since they just recovered from a fire and all). To compensate for the dinner disappintment, we traipsed around Golden (ahem, where I also happen to work..) in the snow and ice, taking shots at various bars, playing pool, and generally carrying on with our drunk selves. Bad bad. At least I didn't launch into any fundraising sermons to unsuspecting undergrads, as I have been known to do before around Golden! My hangover on Sunday I'm pretty sure was close to epic, but we still managed to brunch, Kev even proclaiming his breakfast the best he's ever had.

We also put up our Holiday Tree.

Wow, it looks awfully similar to last year's, doesn't it?

Notice this year I am not using the cheesin' silver bow perched atop. My tree top's naked! Maybe it needs a fugly Target star after all.

And take a look at this stinker, would you?

Lucy's naughtiness is deceptively cute, I'm aware. But naughty she is! Already she's eaten 2 ornaments off this year's tree. Kevin starts work full-time next week and I think she's going to destroy the whole damn tree when she figures that one out. At least Biggie Purrs doesn't climb Holiday Trees anymore, I'm thankful for that. He just likes to pee on the tree skirt....ha ha. Fun with pets!

Does anyone else have their tree up? Live or fake? I mean, artificial....

Also, what does it say about my state of mind that I've skipped Yoga for the past 2 Tuesday nights to go to Kickboxing instead?

Also also, (I always do this at the end of my posts, get all amped to squeeze in just one more unrelated topic) a vendor just walked in and gave me a Christmas gift and it is a book called Yes!, because it's "dedicated to all our clients to whom we always try to say Yes!" I really don't like little inspirational gift books. For the record, and all. I mean, does anyone?

Where's my cookie?

2006-12-04T14:55:00.000-07:00

Um, yeah. I almost forgot:

Besides the fact that I didn't win any prizes, I rule.

Bullseye.

2006-12-01T15:15:00.000-07:00

Fuck. I broke my own rule. ALREADY.

Kevin called this morning, accusing me of stopping up the upstairs bathroom toilet (which of course I did not, because my poos are small and dainty and smell like roses!). He then declared me responsible for procuring a plunger since our new house is plungerless and so.....where else does one go to buy a plunger over their lunch break but TARGET?

I am in the door for 5 seconds before the dollar aisle seduces me, and the next thing I know, my basket is mysteriously filling itself with cute felt holiday bags and sequined boxes and holiday toys for Lucy! Not content with stopping at the dollar aisle madness because hell, at this point I may as well rebelliously throw stupid holiday shopping rules to the wind, I fruitlessly scour the crowded toy aisles for a non-plastic toy camera for nephew James, after which I move on into Christmas card territory and then, not finding anything suitable or artsy enough there, debate over Christmas tree stars for a good 15 minutes for a Christmas tree we haven't even bought yet. I finally deposit the cheap fugly star I don't need in the lightbulb section, choose an un-age appropriate birthday card for my sister (kitten sitting on yarn?), locate a red Rubbermaid plunger, toss in a 3-pack of O-Cello sponges, order a Starbucks, and GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.

I suck! But Target, Target does not because apparently, I am a prime example of their tremendous success. The holiday spenderiffic freaker.

On the drive back to my office I remembered there was in fact a plunger under the bathroom sink and that I really didn't need to go to Target in the first place. So ultimately, my slip in judgement is all Kevin's fault. He should know better!

You down with CSP? Well, you don't know me.

2006-11-30T16:04:00.000-07:00

[BIGSIGHOFRELIEF.] Alright. Things are a little more under control now. Thank god for INTERNET SHOPPING.

I'm talking about Christmas, y'all. I hate how you barely have time to poo out your Thanksgiving meal before the freakishly long Christmas To-Do List begs to get made. What, don't y'all have one too?

Well, whatever. MY list is staring me down and wigging me out. However, there's progress being made! I just knocked a few gifties out of the way thanks to the internet (and having my own office), including one I am so excited for but can't tell you about because someone will then find out what he's getting. It's not that the gift itself is terribly exciting (in fact, you may think it's rather boring), it's just that I saw one like it at REI and then found it for over $100 less online! Goddamn I'm good.

Actually, I am really terrible at Christmas shopping. I pretty much despise ALL shopping: grocery, clothing, gifts, car. Holy stress crackers when I actually buy a house. I am not a good decision-maker. I am one of those shoppers who will pick something up, wander around the store, decide against it, then put it down in a random spot. And then I'll do it all over again with another item.

So yeah, that scented candle in the pet food aisle? All me.

This year, though: NO BIG BOX CHAIN STORE GIFT SHOPPING. Ooooh, snap. This is going to be hard. I absolutely love Cost Plus World Market. I know everyone sings Target's praises (and like you, I can't get out of there without dropping a $50, either), but Cost Plus! Cost Plus is seriously where it's at. And they even sell WINE. I adore that place.

Anyway. Support local businesses and all that good stuff. That's just an added bonus! The real reason I'm banning big stores is for my own sanity. The big stores, the mall, oh jeez...my panic button threatens to be pushed just thinking about it! I figure the smaller boutiques have fewer choices and thus will relieve me of the Christmas Shopping Panic (CSP). Also: cuter stuff. More original. Won't already have one. You get the picture.

So that's the plan, Stan. The CSP is not going to get me this year! I'll be sure to let you know where I find the good stuff. And then you too can be down with NO CSP!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I am off to the Bel-Mar Whole Foods for one last panic attack =)

Gifts for all the punkin' eaters in your life.

2006-11-29T09:56:00.000-07:00

Pictures always tell a better story.

2006-11-28T15:52:00.000-07:00

Here is the star of the Kentucky Thanksgiving Trip of 2006: James!

Look at that face. Oh my god, do you not just want to eat him up? He is at the most adorable age right now (his mama might not agree). And so smart. And so cute. But he doesn't have any dolls. I disagree with that kind of parenting so for Christmas he is getting a Barbie...ha ha.

Proud Uncle Kev:

This man is going to be a fabulous father someday.

Kev and I at Newport on the Levee in Newport, KY, before seeing Borat. That big city in the background is Cincinnati and that bit of water is the Ohio River. You're welcome for the geography lesson!

After the movie we had beers at Hofbrau House, also in Newport. These are considered their "small" beers. They also serve up sauerkraut, kielbasa, getta (how many of you know what THAT is?), and polka music. Not so much a fan of the German cuisine, although sauerkraut on a tempeh reuben is quite tasty.

Did I mention that you can still smoke indoors in this part of the country? Notice we are sitting OUTSIDE. Yuck. But I guess it IS Kentucky, after all.

This bridge is called the Purple People Bridge and those people on top of it? Are losers. They all paid $30 to walk across the top in those lame ass matching outfits. They are also all chained to the railing, like a chain gang! WEIRD.

One of the hippest parts of Cincinnati is Mt. Adams. When Sarah came up from Louisville on Friday we went up there for dinner and cocktails. We ate at the same place (Teak Thai and Sushi) we did last year with our friends Jeff and Ann, but this time Sarah and I had sushi. After dinner we had wine at an adorable bar with an outdoor fireplace (the Blind Lemon) and then a stiff bourbon at a wine bar filled with smoke and rude men. I almost clocked a man for being a jerk. Hello, I thought I was in the quasi-SOUTH, not Boston! (Ha ha. I found Boston to be full of rude, cold people. Argue that not everyone is like that if you want, but that was my experience.)

Me and my friend Sarah:

(Dude, my head looks Amazonian!)

And....let's end with another baby picture. James! Only grandchild! We better take care of that soon! KIDDING. But it is helpful to see a cute McD child - I know what I'm in for. Yikes! A boy! Kev's family is ALL BOYS. That's what I'm in for.

And there's no real segue into this but, I'm making cranberry sauce this week. There was no cranberry sauce at Thanksgiving dinner and suddenly I have a major hankering. Heh heh.....I said hankering. I bet they'll be on sale! Thanksgiving is not over yet, my friends!

(Oh, but to my fat ass it is! Off to kickboxing!)

FOUR MORE DAYS! I'm tired.

2006-11-27T17:18:00.000-07:00

Well, the fam has been safely reunited and we're all cuddled together on the couch. In jammies. It's 5. I think I'm even ready for bed soon. At Kev's dad's we slept on the most uncomfortable futon and that + a 5 am wake-up call = super tired me today. Traveling is hard work, man. I am stoked for the juiciness of my own bed.

No, people! I don't have any crazy stalkers...I don't think. I think I just had a wee case of the NOIDS last night. And no pot was involved either! Imagine that!

(OK, see. That right there, I write about pot. And I wonder why I get wigged out that someone is going to read this that shouldn't?! Jeeeebs.)

I have just been getting some weird and personal Google hits, many of them including my full name. From people I don't think I know, either (or I don't recognize the location and whathaveyou). It makes me all twitchy and sketch and immediately I want to run through the entire blog and erase all mention of my name, my pictures, the f-bomb. ETCETERA. Maybe it's just my lack of control over who's reading. Or, more likely, it's just that every good blogger needs to get slapped in the face every once in awhile with the fact that HELLO? YOU ARE WRITING ON THE INTERNET! and now is my time.

I guess there are some options for me to ponder regarding this in the near future. Fake names, take URL off Google, change URL completely. Maybe I just need to stop checking my stats like a freaking fiend. In the meantime, let me tell you....one thing I AM going to do is eventually make good on that hiatus. It might be just a few days, a few weeks....but I am kind of over the posting everday bit. The pressure! But for now, I make good on my promises. Only 4 more days.

I feel naked.

2006-11-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

I won a Bud Light hat today at a bar watching the Bengals game.

I also just completely erased the 45-minute schpiel I wrote about the feeling of being spied upon here...it didn't seem fair.

But I do have to say, in sum, that I love people who aren't afraid to say: I read your blog!

Love that. The rest of you? I know who you are! Ha ha.

As a blogger, you never win. In fact, rosalicious might be taking a hiatus. My stats (not the number of, but the people who) are kinda freaking me out.

I only go for the beer.

2006-11-25T12:17:00.000-07:00

Breakfast was a buffet at Frisch's Big Boy.
A Midwest tradition.
My friend Sarah's cousin owns it.
We got it free.
NOT. (Borat).
I just awoke from a nap.
Thanksgiving weekend naps are lovely.
Now my jeans are tight.
But only because Kevin just washed them.
Tonight: babies and football.
This family loves sports.
I only go for the beer.

Love from the Bluegrass State.

2006-11-24T14:27:00.000-07:00

Today is one holiday that both Kevin and I stand firmly behind:

BUY NOTHING DAY.

(Although, do beers and movie tickets count?)

Life out here in the Cincy 'burbs revolves around this holiday.....people extracting multiple bags of crap from Wal-Mart, Kohl's, and Old Navy from the trunks of their SUVs... bags of cheaply made shit that they don't really need, shit that was apprehended by pushing and shoving and waiting in long lines in hot, bright lighting....

God, nothing could sound less appealing.

You wouldn't believe how many people out here (I say out here like it's Siberia....Kev's family lives close to the city, albeit in total suburbia. If someone made a brochure representing the all-American picture of Suburbia, well, jesus, Villa Hills would be it) already have their Christmas lights up. People here particularly LOVE the big inflatable Christmas characters and winding white metal trees.

Back to beers and movie tickets. We just saw Borat. I found it hysterical. Does this make me a bad person? I feel like I should be saying it offended me and made me uncomfortable, because that would be, like, totally PC.

Plus, who starts a blog post proclaiming the importance of Buy Nothing Day, and then proceeds to extol the virtues of a movie that rips on basically every religious and cultural group in the US?

I guess that would be me, suckers. That movie was hilarious!

Well, I am out of my blogging element here. I am also petrified of having this URL show up in the history on this computer...my Mom already reads it, and even that freaks me out some. I ceraintly don't need a certain someone else's family knowing that I'm not the sweet little thing I purport to be.

Speaking of sweet little things, my friend Sarah is on her way up from Louisville and lucky Kev! He gets to drive us around all night!

We are eating and drinking lots and my jeans still fit. Hope yours do too!

xoxoxo

Placeholder

2006-11-23T11:23:00.000-07:00

In case I can't write more later....

Happy Thanksgiving! Be thankful!

No Kentucky jokes, please.

2006-11-22T11:50:00.000-07:00

This marks my 400th post. What marks your 400th post, you ask? The lameness of announcing that this is your 400th post? Snnnnnnoooooore.

C'mon friends, where's the fanfare?! Fanfare! Fanfare! Fanfare!

ZZZZZzzzzz.

Absosmurfly NOTHING is happening here today. Moreoever, I was forced to have my weekly meeting with my boss and inform him of such. Nobody's blogging, everyone's traveling, and even though I haven't even eaten anything rich and buttery yet (oh, except that delicious morsel of pumpkin/cream cheese thing back in the kitchen), my stomach is already revolting. Blech.

You know what's annoying? And because no one is here today I'm feeling a little footloose and fancy-free with the work grievances, but my secretary. She annoys the everloving hell out of me. The most recent annoyance (of many, rest assured) was yesterday when I needed a little afternoon "boost" and grabbed a peanut and caramel bar out of my co-worker's candy basket. My secretary spotted me with the candy and announced all loudly, "YOU'RE EATING CANDY?!!?? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU OF ALL PEOPLE ARE EATING CANDY! WHY ARE YOU EATING CANDY?! YOU MUST BE HAVING A REALLY ROUGH DAY!"

So I did what any good boss would do and threw it at her. Heh. I know I'm the picture of health with my organic salads and lunchtime workouts (ha ha), but for fuck's sake....nobody ever said I was trying to refrain from raiding the co-worker's candy basket. She was trying to shame me. I cannot be shamed! If I want to eat a goddamn miniature Payday bar, I'm going to eat a goddamn miniature Payday bar. I'm certainly not beating myself up over it.

Sorry- I fully didn't intent to go there, but the boredom. The boredom is evident.

Oooohhh, lunchtime! Time for an organic salad!

We get to leave at 2 today. Woop! I am seriously trying to get myself psyched up for Lucy's last mama/daughter run before being sent to good-girl puppy camp. I think I might have an emotional breakdown after dropping her off. Those sad puppy eyes just looking so scared at Mama......Wah! Wahhhhwah!! I am already feeling all twisted and anxious just thinking about it. She'll have to sleep all lonely in her kennel while I'm at home snuggled up with Biggie Purrs. The thought! Anyway: It's 70 degrees and sunny here today. I have no excuse not to run.

(Tearjerker: my friend and co-worker who battled breast cancer this year just came in and gave me a hug and told me she was thankful for me. Chokechoke. I am thankful for her too. I am thankful she is alive.)

Well, hope y'all get to where you need to go in a timely, safe manner. The next time I post I shall be in the great Southern state of Kentucky, home of George Clooney, Cameron Crowe, thoroughbred horses, and the Mint Julep. Yee-haw!

Just another ol' recap.

2006-11-21T15:01:00.000-07:00

So.....in case you missed it yesterday, Kevin scored a job - a professional job that uses his Master's degree, offers excellent benefits, and requires standard buiness casual attire of khaki pants and button-downs. Bye-bye USFS and bye-bye USFS uniform. (Wow, typing that just made me a little sad!) Gone are the days of hard labor, assholes who shoot up gates and tear up terrain, and steep hikes....it's cube-land now, baby!

Seriously, we're stoked.

To celebrate, we crossed another restaurant off the list last night: Tamayo. Hmmm, it was good. I guess. The margs were small and pricey and not very strong. I didn't like the atmosphere...it felt weird drinking a marg off a white linen tablecloth. It was too stuffy and unfestive an environment. Come to think of it, there wasn't any music playing. And the flowers on the table were hideous.

Maybe I am still too much all about the hype and goodness of LoLa, I don't know. Tamayo's cuisine was delicious and all but....when the bill came and another Benjamin had to be dropped, I just didn't feel like it was worth it. Blah.

(Thank god K got a big boy job. If the Bens are going to keep dropping like this on all the spendy eating out, we need help. For real.)

After dinner, we joined the local Denver bloggeratti at Jazz @ Jack's for Monkey's Uncle. You can read Kath's live blog account of the first half of the show here. The best part was when Kev and I arrived....ha ha. No, I particularly liked "The Purse Whisperer" (not in the live blogging segment)....a female audience member came on stage and he forsaw her future based on the contents of her purse. Too funny. I am continually impressed with the immense talent of improv...coming up with funny shit on the spot is not easy and these guys do it VERY well =)

On the bus ride home we ran into Homeless Sorority Formal Date again. Ha ha. Remember? The guy I went to spring formal in college with who is now homeless in Denver? Maybe you missed that one. OK, last night he was even weirder than before. He informed me about a corporate takeover in my hometown in Va that "appropriated" his mother and brother. But I didn't have to worry, I'm cool. Clearly, the guy has mental issues. He was never quite right in college but now he has reached new heights. No more attributing it to acid. It's just straight-up, bonafide crazy talk.

Well, one more day until I am set free from the bondage of office hell! Free to fly to Kentucky and drink copious snifters of bourbon! Kev is already gone. And the smell of something chemy is seeping into my office so, I might as well be gone too. See ya turkeys!

A dive bar with hot drunk chicks.

2006-11-20T07:27:00.000-07:00

I normally like to give props where props are due, yet here I am to say Sonoda's! On Saturday night, your service sucked! Your bathroom was also kind of grody. And I about died of thirst waiting for my water. And the Purple Haze you served was entirely too hot.

We did like the spicy tempura special. And your prices, they are good too.

After dinner we headed over to Herb's Hideout to see one of Kevin's - now ex- coworker's (Kevin got a new big-boy job, people!) wife play keyboards with her band, Bruckner Funken Jazz. It was super fun! One of our old favorite Mead St. waiters is a bartender there and poured Cazadores (tequila) down our throats all night. We danced. We danced like crazy. They played my favorite song: Doin' Da Butt. heh.

Kev also informed me that Herb's was rated one of Denver's best places to party with hot women in Maxim (or some junky men's mag) and I was like, no way! That place is a dive! But then we got there and lo, there were beautiful ladies all over the joint! The website even touts it as a dive bar that pretty women will actually go to. Hmmmm. Interesting marketing tactic, although there is no dive bar that *I* wouldn't go to (um, OK, maybe not the scary place down the street with no windows.). I guess they mean hot drunk sorority chicks? Because yes, at Herb's there were many of those types.

The band, busting the funky soul grooves:

I realized how long it had been since I went out dancing! Dancing to funk is THE BEST.

This picture exemplifies how I was feeling about then:

Melty light heads!

And this guy is a random - no clue who he is or how he got in the picture. He looks like he is trying to squeeze one out:

Totally a fun night. And you people who didn't join us? You missed out. Nanny nanny BOO BOO.

Sunday PM.

2006-11-19T17:24:00.000-07:00

Some old friends from Fort Collins just bought a house up the street! They are coming over soon for Broncos and pizza. And cocktails. Though, the thought of ingesting a mixed cocktail right now faintly makes me want to hurl. A glass of wine, however, does not. Damn CO and its Sunday liquor laws.

And go Broncos!

Wildlife.

2006-11-18T16:42:00.000-07:00

Kev and I went for a hike today and ran across these bad boys:

We also saw this guy:

I was freaking the fuck out!

(Psyche. I went to the Denver Zoo today with Em, Sara, and Sara's kids.)

The first line of this post is really the title.

2006-11-17T15:14:00.000-07:00

A bunch of random shit:

***

Real quick, while we're on the subject on random, I'm sure those of you who are doing NaBloPoMo know about the pink elephant randomizer. Check your stats, chances are you'll have umpteen referrals from there.

Anyway, I clicked on the "view next blog" button for awhile this afternoon and it struck me how few blogs I actually stayed on and read. It wasn't for lack of quality content more than it was hideous titles (titles with "Ramblings of" or "Thoughts of" or "Musings From" generally didn't make the cut), bad fonts, obnoxious graphics, and overall lack of good blog feng shui.

That said, I fucking hate my blog. Appearances DO matter, people. Who wants to make me a kickass masthead? This place needs some serious help. I'm almost embarrassed to have you guys over.

I'm being SU-PER-FISH-SHUL....

***

Yesterday I finally made a much-needed, long-put-off trip to the doctor to deal with my asthma. I am now the proud user of several inhalable steroids and a spacer. The spacer looks remotely medical and scary - I think its appearance on the bathroom counter freaked Kev out a little this morning.

Breathability and the joyousness of aside, I think I need a new doctor. I am slightly ashamed to admit this as it feels all yucky and sinful, but....my doctor is really cute. He is my age and he is attractive and it just feels weird. Not "There's chemistry in the examining room, I feel it!" weird, because.....ew. But "He kind of reminds me of Kevin" weird. (Although my doctor wears man-Danskos, and as hard as I tried Kev probably would never ever sport a pair. He should though, because I find Man-Danskos to be very HOT.)

It just doesn't feel right having a boy my age get all up in there. Not that kind of up in there, you perv. Gross.

***

So, this photo essay by Simon of A Girl & A Boy is the best thing I've seen on the internet all week. Sooooo funny. And in a home-grown, organic way too....the best kind.

***

Lucy survived dog camp and didn't appear overly traumatized when I picked her up. (Although I sure was traumatized from getting super lost in the middle of rush hour traffic trying to get to the place.)

The girl who was working when I picked her employed a style of baby-talk only a dog with a mama like me could love. I'm sure with that kind of high-squealed pitch calling her name and handing her biscuits all day long, Lucy felt right at home.

I am relieved.

***

I don't have plans for tonight. I just instructed Kev to call some of our old friends to see if they want to get together. There are 2 couples we used to hang out with all the time, and we haven't seen either in months. It makes me feel sad, kind of, like we did something wrong. I know that's how it goes sometimes....people get busy and time passes and the more time passes the more you forget these people exist. Then it's just plain weird and awkward to call. Maybe you have friends like this too?

(I guess it just became obvious why I asked Kevin to call them.....ha ha.)

On the bright side, next week while we're in Cincinnati we get to see some of our favorite people! Yay!

***

And now, a question for you. What are you doing this weekend?

Lucy goes to camp.

2006-11-16T16:19:00.000-07:00

Today was my little girl's first day of school.

Lucy is currently woofing it up at The Daily Wag. I've been glued to the doggie web cam all day, trying to discern if a) that fuzzy distorted picture of a little black and tan dingo is in fact mama's baby and b) she's having fun. This is her first time in such a place. Eeeeeeeeek! The anxiety!

From what I can tell, she's doing a lot of standing around by herself. No surprise there, as she tends to do the same thing at the dog park. I hope she's made at least one friend to wrestle with. Maybe there is a nice Australian Shepard or a Husky....those are her favorites. Maybe a puppy or a beagle - she loves them too. She even likes small yippy purse dogs! The kinds of dogs she doesn't like? Big obnoxious ones. (I mean, who can blame her?)

Most of the time I feel like Lu is not just a dog, she's family. She's my baby girl! Today has been one of those days where I've got to wonder if I'm going overboard with projection of human emotion on the dog. I mean, does Lucy really experience shyness, insecurity, and a disdain for bad decor? (Because seriously, the place could use some help in that arena).

She's staying in this joint over Thanksgiving. I feel immeasurably guilty but at the same time, the sweet relief of not having to ask a friend for yet another dog sitting favor is awesome. I just hope she doesn't miss us too badly. Someone said that dogs have no concept of time or distance. I don't know if this is true. I certainly don't experience this kind of sadness about leaving Biggie Purrs. Man, the thought of her sleeping in a kennel by herself in a strange place at night just TUGS on the heart strings....

How do you mothers do it? Jesus. And for the record, I have totally changed my mind about the use of nanny cams.

Green buildings and camel toes.

2006-11-15T11:12:00.000-07:00

I was thisclose to calling in to work this morning. We went out last night and had drinks. On a school night. People, I am old. I can't handle these kind of shenanigans anymore. I am sooooooo tired and thirsty today.

Kevin is attending the Greenbuild conference this week and so last night, as one of the Greenbuild events, we walked around LoDo, toured some nice sustainably-built, LEED certified (go me with the new terminology!) buildings, met some architects and planners who actually give a fuck about the environment, and saw some art.

Mostly, we just drank the free wine and ate the free cheese.

Kev automatically had the "in" since he's part of that whole architect/planner/green builder/environmental scene. Yeah, that and he also had the official conference badge. But me? Hello! Don't mind me! I am just the young-lookin' scrub throwing down multiple soy-plastic biodegradable cups of your free organic wine!

That is.....until I started marketing myself. (Or until I got drunk, both are equally as responsible for my change in "in" status). Now, there is absolutely no shame in networking it. Especially when one is perpetually searching for a new job. And when you are someone whose skills include RAISING MONEY? All kinds of people suddenly want your digits. OK, I exaggerate...some. I work at a nationally-renowned engineering school (yeah, like you haven't figured that out- go look at your IP addresses, people!) and so that alone was helpful last night in schmoozing with the conference people. And even though I was sporting post-yoga attire, I still managed to score several business cards and dig deep in my purse to distribute some of my own. You just never know who is going to come rescue you from your life of boredom and gloom!

The Greenbuild LoDo Walk culminated at Sing, Sing, of all places. My memories of Sing, Sing are mostly hazy, seeing as the BuzzBucket for Bachelorettes is one of their specialties, and of those I have had many. But I discovered last night that not only is it a good place for bachelorettes, it is a good place for conference people. (Although I'm sure the guy who crouched on stage like some weird rabid mouse or the guy who sang REO's Speedwagon's "Don't Stop Believing" in front of all his colleagues might not agree.) I think overall it is a fun place for co-workers to get shitfaced together, and if anything, will provide stories to tell the rest of the office upon arrival home - "There were these girls who sat sexily upon the dueling pianos, thinking they were getting their big moment to sing their number, and instead they got a song sung to them about their nasty camel toes."

(Really. It was hilarious. All I can think about today is PINK TACOS.)

Anyway. 'Twas fun to go out on a Tuesday, even though we got home late and now I am supremely tired and in a carb-consuming rage.

Before I go, look who has a new boyfriend! Are they a match made in heaven, OR WHAT? Lucy + Rufus = TLA.

(I love Lucy's toothy grin in this picture.)

OHMYGOD, I was, like, so cool.

2006-11-14T14:27:00.000-07:00

Let's play the Read Some Shit from Rosie's Diary game again, shall we? Oh don't groan like that, this is the good juice...from HIGH SCHOOL. The golden years, man.

This particular gem is a little bit diary, an even bigger bit eating journal. I was obsessed with being fat. I wasn't clinically anorexic, per se, and definitely not bulimic, but I had serious, serious issues with body image and even bigger issues with food. I was fucking 17 years old and writing down everything I ate:

May 5, 1993

B-fast: 2 mini bagels - 150 [calories]
Lunch: sunflower seeds - 200
saltines - 150
Dinner: banana - 100
rice cakes- 80

680 calories!

Terrific!

Exercise: 3/4 Cathy Smith Video

Dude! This makes me want to go back and smack some sense into my teenaged ass! On top of this, I was also cheerleading and doing lifeguard training and running like a fool and doing 300 sit-ups a day and still only eating fucking 800 calories, at most! I weighed 110 lbs. at my current height (5'4") and my "goal weight" back then was 100! Hello, Kate Bosworth?!?

(Might I interject a small dose of hilarity and tell you that I was also working as a waitress at Aunt Sarah's Pancake House, home of the All-You-Can-Eat Fried Chicken and Pancake Special? In my journal I repeatedly reprimand myself for eating at work. NO EATING AT WORK, I forbid in my loopy girly (and very neat) handwriting...)

Sadly, I bet high school girls are still doing this. Maybe it's even worse. I know a lot of it has to do with the media (and shows like Laguna Beach, OK?), and an even bigger part has to do with peer pressure. How do we prevent this? Are teenaged girls hard-wired for this kind of nonsense? I had pretty good eating habits imparted to me - my family hardly ever ate fast food, we had no soda or junk food in the house, we grew lots of our own food on the farm we lived on. We didn't even have cable TV, all we got was one station! (Hippies, dude, I tell you!) Clearly I got it somewhere. Probably from all the anorexic UVa sorority sisters prancing around my hometown in their pearls and big hair bows! ha!

Moving on to other Laguna Beach-like behavior, boozing it up was not lost on me in the formative years, no! Not one itty bit. We raged, and forgive me if that sounds a little like pride. It's just, well, let's just say that my freshman year in college I got a 4.0 while all my other classmates were just discovering - shudder - WEED and BOURBON and BEAST LIGHT. I was chugging Beast Light at the age of 13, y'all!

(Mom, I'm kidding, although - read the rest with caution.)

Growing up in a college town (a college where drinking is HUGE, I might add), we weren't content to just sip stolen wine coolers at lame high school parties. No, we would go to UVa football games and participate in "fourth-year fifth" (a tradition where seniors drink a fifth of liquor at the last home game) even though we were fourth year HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS. We would go to horse races and tailgate with the UVa kids and get wasted and barf and pass out, just like them! We'd head down to frat row for parties on Friday nights, and nobody knew or cared how old we were. (We lied, of course, and said we went to Longwood.) We hooked up with frat boys and went to cheesy college bars and professed our great love of all things Dave Matthews...haha.

Anyway. Enough of how cool I was =) My senior year I met a UVa boy I liked very much (not at a frat party, but in da 'hood - or as close as one gets to a hood in Charlottesville). We met at a shady apartment on JPA where one of the cooks from Aunt Sarah's Pancake House lived. My friends and I often went there to drink 40s and smoke blunts and watch fights break out and cops make arrests. Ummm, yes, you could say it was definitely a hangout of the 90210 variety. So wholesome.

The guy's name was Rich (who later became known simply as SlipperLips)and he had come over to "JPA" (as in, "are you going to JPAafter school today?")to make a purchase. An illegal purchase. From there, it was love at under-age girl first sight! I soon became slightly whipped. He had his own place, and was an actor. One night he made sure to show me all the episodes of Law and Order he had been in. I thought he was totally the most, like, awesome thing ever:

January 9, 1994

Okay, here's some luck! Well let me tell you about my weekend 1st. Friday after school we went to Rickey's and he said Will B. wanted to ask me out some time ;) Cool as shit! Then later that night we went to the game, to JPA, my ma's, and then to Rickey's- and I got so fucked up playing chandeliers! I had to drive home- I didn't think I was going to make it! Saturday I worked and Jean came in to see me. Well, the story on that is so fucked up! Sat. he was s'posed to call me at work and didn't. So after work, me, Missy, Patsy, Ash, and Shannon went to Will's and drank and shit. Okay, here's the slammin' part. We got back to Ashley's and 2 secs after we walk in the phone rings! It was Rich! In town for one night. He had Ashley's number from before. So me, Patsy, and Ash snuck out and went over there. I was totally x-cited and trashed at the same time. Then we had to leave and I was so high. But Rich kissed me BYE and stuff although I don't quite remember exactly what he said just that Liz still liked him and stuff. And he wrote on his calendar, but I didn't see it, Rosie call me if you can Melissa is leaving right now, whatever the fuck that shit means! But he's got my # now so he can call me! What a cutie. Jean never called. I'm bummed. What a fucker.

[heart],
Ro

As you can imagine, a UVa guy only wants one thing from a local high school senior. And it has to do with slammin'. I was ultimately crushed. Although, 3 years later I ran into Rich at a Phish show and he tried to reignite the flames... ha ha. And once again, I was all, like, what the hell was I thinking? I tell you though, I wouldn't change a thing about h.s. (except maybe the studying part of it), but I also sure as hell would never go back. It's amazing I'm still alive.

Quick, post something!

2006-11-13T16:35:00.000-07:00

I've got about 15 minutes before I go get my ass kicked. I've started taking a step class after work to counter the fattening lunches I am forced to eat on Mondays by way of being a Director where I work. Today: Indian Lunch Buffet at Taj Masala. Yum! But also, ouch. My love for Saag Paneer wrote some checks my body can't cash. (Oh! how I love that line!) 'Twas a tasty lunch, even though I have been regretably sitting in my own fried curry stink for hours now.

Anyway. Step class on Mondays is 1.5 hours long. The first hour is spent, well, stepping. Stepping up, stepping down, stepping all around. It's super intense aerobically. Boring as hell, but it's definitely a full-on 60 minutes of major caloric burn. (The rest is straight-up muscle work. Dudes, you should see my GUNS.)Thursday's step class is shorter and less aerobically intense, but more interesting because it's choreographed and challenging and only special people who used to be dancers and cheerleaders can get the footwork down. Tonight's class merely involves lots of moves of the over-and-over-again variety. Over and over and over and over and over. And even though tonight I potentially might vomit on account of the lunch buffet I so freely grazed from, I still really like my class and look forward to it each and every Monday.

[witty closing line about love of organized exercise being so unlike me here]

By golly. I've suddenly morphed into a middle-aged woman.

Unrelated P.S. Has anyone seen the movie Shopgirl? What about Running with Scissors? You like?

Jammies, jammies, and a restaurant review.

2006-11-12T17:15:00.000-07:00

'Tis 5 PM and I just disrobed from my jammies. Granted, it was just to put on another pair of jammies.....but now? Now at least I am clean.

So yeah, it's been that kind of Sunday. Wouldn't you be content to lounge about all day in jammies too if it looked like this outside?

The Kevmobile and the Rosemobile, as pictured above, haven't moved all day. I'm pretty sure Kev, who is devoutly parked in front of the tube and all its football-showing glory, hasn't either. Munch munch on the couch. Munch munch.

(Oh look, here he is. He moved! In jammies! Jammies jammies, fucking jammies. I love jammies.

I also love pizza and I'm wondering when we're gonna get to eat some. Tengo hambre!)

Last night's dinner, oh yes, let's talk about that, that and the big ol' Benjamin I dropped. Wait, make that $97...he gave us a "discount" because the pleather check folder was greasy. Yeah- I made a stink about the cleanliness of the check cover, whatchu gonna say about it?

(I didn't really. That's the kind of thing that people who iron their dust ruffles do.)

Now, we often drop $100 for dinner out, but the problem with last night is that we were not expecting it. We didn't get dressed up, it wasn't an "occasion," and we weren't feeling all super-psyched and eaty-outy. We were just lazy and hungry and wanted some food. (Goddamnit.)

Yet, it was excellent. Better than excellent. We shared a bottle of Chianti (of course) and let me tell you, shit wasn't cheap. I started with a salad (my Parisi fave - romaine with gorgonzola, pear, walnuts, and the most scrumptious balsamic reduction - all syrupy and thick and sweet) and Kev had the tastiest soup I've had in years (Ribollita?). For my entree I had the homemade lobster ravioli topped with an orange-y cream sauce (oh, the sin) and Kev had an italian seafood stew, which rocked. I definitely suffered from a serious case of plate envy.

So, to sum up: the meal basically came out of nowhere and kicked some serious ass. We were pleasantly surprised, if only a little cash-hungover. But out of 5 stars, I give Parisi Downstairs (Firenze a Tavola) a solid 4. YumBigFatYum. We probably won't be back though, because the menu for pescaterians is really quite tiny. We had the only 2 options available for eaters of the fish-persuasion. But if wild boar and duck and rabbit and steaks are your thing, get thee to Parisi and have your socks knocked off. You know, if you wear socks. You can also have your knickers or your tall brown size 7 Nine West boots knocked off too, they'll even go there.

Lastly?! Can I get a big fat ugggggghhh?! Because I just want to get this off my chest: I HATE MONDAYS! And by default, I hate Sunday nights too. I am starting to get that empty but angsty knotty feeling I hate so well. Do y'all get it too?

WWGD?

2006-11-11T18:50:00.000-07:00

The first two things that pop to mind to tell you are:

Minutes ago I pulled an inch-long hair from my EYEBROW. Dude, I am a freakshow.

Also: I ironed the dust ruffle today, because WWGD (What Would Granny Do?). Kev says I'm the only one born after 1944 who would do such a thing. He said I'm starting to scare him.

Dude, FREAKshow. (But damn, the bed sure looks nice and crisp.)

We went up to Fort Collins last night for a baby shower DONE RIGHT. Good food, good wine and lots of good beer. Saw some people I hadn't seen in awhile and marvelled over how the mama and papa-to-be didn't receive one single piece of plastic baby crap. Everyone gave gifties in the most awesome and organic of taste. (Us? We gave baby Otis a SWEET pair of baby cowboy boots. It was between them and a groovy little onesie with a picture of a tricycle that said "this is how I roll." Totally indulgent and impractical, I know. But so fucking cute!)

Kev is busy cutting up our list of restaurants to try so we can just pull our choice out of a hat instead of actually having to, you know, THINK.

And the winner for tonight is....

Parisi (the new ristorante downstairs, not the joint upstairs)

Guess that means it's off to drink Chianti and eat pasta! Have a great night, y'all!

Priceless gems from 1988.

2006-11-10T09:13:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile I like to pour myself a nice big glass of wine, sit down, and get some perspective on my life. Often this involves taking down my big green box of shit (also known as: memorabilia) and reminiscing. I felt the perspective-gaining urge coming on during last night's super-boring Grey's Anatomy and today, well, in my bag is a little flowered diary just brimming with 12-year-old juiciness to share with all of you.

(Alright. I know. I hate these kinds of blog posts as much as you do. I mean, who the hell will think my sixth grade diary is remotely interesting? (OK, besides you, Jess!)This is where I put the kabosh on what you all think. I happen to find it entertaining as hell.)

So without further adieu.....

Some priceless gems from 1988.

Preface: I have made no bones about the fact that me and my iron are like this. Not only do I place great value on the appearance of pressed garments (I iron jeans and T-shirts, OK?), I actually LIKE ironing. I find it extremely satisfying, meditative almost. Hell, my mother used to pay me 50 cents an item to iron her stuff...I even did this as recently as 2003 (I was unemployed, shut up.).

Anyway. Perspective:

June 1, 1988

Dearest Diary-

Hey evry'one wasn't as sad. [a girl in our middle school had hung herself in her garage over the weekend] I can't go to the funeral. I want to stay home tomorrow. Chris was actually talking to me today. He asked my phone # and he's supposed to call. Jessi is being annoying. She teases me cause I iron. So what if I'm not a slob.

Luv-n-stuff-
Rosie

I was already ironing my clothes at the tender age of 12! That's just one year older than my little sister and I certainly cannot imagine her wielding an iron on all her stuff. Although, come to think of it, the last time we were home we woke up to find Sophie mopping the kitchen floor because "Mama said it was a big cleaning day."

(JESUS WE ARE SUCH OUR MOTHER'S DAUGHTERS!)

It is a little scary to think Soph might possibly be as boy-crazy (and supremely insecure) as I was:

June 5, 1988

Diary -

I feel so much better now. AD told me that CT really likes me but it is a bet. I just thought it was a bet and he didn't like me. Today I had to babysit. CT is in New York. I wish he could have been at the dance. He better go to Tory's party. My biggest prayers right now are 1: that me and Chris are still going together until Mon. 2: He goes to Tory's party. I (heart) him!

Love
Rosie

So in my mind, it was OK that, depsite the fact that some loser bet his friend to "go with me", it was all somehow excusable because he really liked me anyway? Good lord. (And as for me making prayers in the diary - weird. I wasn't the least bit religious.)

Apparently I woke the hell up and dumped his ass 2 days later. Here, I start to show some sense:

June 10, 1988

Dear Diary -

Today CT asked me to go with him again. He says it's NOT a bet. He even called me and asked me. Well if I go with him he'll have to be nicer to me and my friends and he'll have to talk to me! I can't believe Jessi is going with Jeff. (Puke) Maybe CT's parents will change their minds I hope! Tomorrow nite is Tory's party. Please let it be good.

Rosie

Hell yeah, girlfriend. That's what I'm talking about. Make them come crawling back! No self-respecting woman would ever date a guy who wasn't nice to her friends and didn't talk to her. (But I still said yes. Booooo to that! I was weak!)

But yay to the fact that it was over for good the next week! Then I think Jess started going with him ;) Ha ha. And then I think I took him back for a brief period of time in 11th grade. And then at our 10 year high school reunion 2 years ago he was still exactly the same, all gropey and drunk, except he had blossomed into a ginormous 250 El-BEES. And then we were all, like, what the hell were we thinking?

There's more good shit in the box. Just you wait. I'm so glad that not only did I write it all down in multiple diaries, but that I kept all of them! And now...I so know what Sophie's getting for Christmas. And no, it's not an iron, fools.

You know you wished you lived over here.

2006-11-09T14:49:00.000-07:00

And our 'hood just continues to rock. This week we are seeing the opening of 2 more businesses: The North Star Brewery, which is right up the hill from our place, and Vitamin Cottage, which is opening up on 15th across the street from REI.

Both are proprietors of 2 of my very favorite things: GOOD BEER and NATURAL FOODS.

(Rose, you are a woman of contradictions. Yes, honey. Yes I am.)

Holy crap, I'm a dedicated Highlander. Still waiting on the goddamn pedestrian bridge though...

Full-on registered Dem.

2006-11-08T09:06:00.000-07:00

So. Some good things came out of this election: the minimum wage will increase, the Dems now have some fothermucking power (hells yeah), we won't have a douchebag like Bob Beauprez as our governor...

But Jesus! How on earth can the Dems sweep Congress, the country now have mostly Democratic governors....and yet? The people in this state still voted for a man near as white supremacist as one might get (Tancredo, and the man has a hideously bulbous nose), a woman who flat-out exemplifies the words HATE and DISCRIMINATION (and is GW's biznatch, to boot), and pass an AMENDMENT.....an AMENDMENT saying that marriage is only between a man and a woman? Those of you who wavered - you just put something like this in our state constitution FOR GOOD.

When are people going to join the 21st Century? Hello? Jim Crow? Are we stuck in the 60s? My god, when are people going to wake up and realize that GAY PEOPLE ARE JUST REGULAR PEOPLE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT FUCKING IS? UUUGGGGGH, I am so disappointed. Maybe I am even more disappointed that Ref. I didn't pass. Who in good conscious could actually go into a voting booth and vote to DENY basic rights to people? Do these people actually feel good about themselves? Sometimes I wish that some magic dust would settle upon the world and make everyone gay for a week so maybe everyone would get a fucking clue.

Anyway. Enough with the F-Bombs, so unladylike.

(Oh wait. Just one more: Fucking Virginia! My motherland! Go JIM WEBB!!!!!)

I guess the good thing is that Tancredo or Musgrave, whatever. Both will get their asses kicked now in Congress anyway =)

And no. No one ever said I tried to be bi-partisan. Cliche alert: If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. I know I am super opinionated and preachy and up on a high horse most of the time.** But I believe strongly and fully in what I think is right. And if that's a downfall, so be it. At least I know where my values lie. I actually know a girl who made her election decisions based solely on TV COMMERCIALS. She said she didn't know where to find the information. She voted for Musgrave because she thought Angie Paccione "looked scary." That is so so so very sad.

** New development: Law school. As in, I am seriously looking into taking the LSATS. I had an epiphany in Mexico. (Thank you, Sara). I've always thought about it, now I may act on it. Funny though, I told my plan to Kev and he goes "I was thinking about going to law school too."

The 6-hour post.*

2006-11-07T13:45:00.000-07:00

I can't focus today, y'all. It's SEVENTY FIVE DEGREES out. It is pure torture being inside with no windows (ones that look out into the great outdoors from where I sit, that is.) Days like this are numbered until the long winter sets in. (Alright. Shut up. I know I'm not living in the Little House on the Prairie. I know it could be worse. I know CO is sunny all the time.) I could have it be like this everyday and I would never, ever miss snow. Someone: go ahead and kick my ass out of Colorado for saying that. But it's true, and not all the Wellbutrin in the world (which I'm not on, by the way, but I hear it rocks the hizzouse for SAD) can make me think otherwise. I hate winter. There, I said it.

Anyway, fuck if I know what it was I came here to say in the first place. It wasn't to talk about the weather. As I said, the focusing! Not happening!

Actually, I do have all these mini-blog topics vying for your attention in my sassy little red head, but because of NaBloPoMo (which, for some reason always makes me think of Napalm, the shit they used in 'Nam), I feel like I have to ration them out just to make sure I don't run out of things to say. But here, I'll unload a few...

Topic #1: Food for the needy. Because we won't be running the Turkey Trot this year due to my ungodly early and expensive flight to Cincinnati on Thanksgiving morning, (there goes that charitable activity, and about 600 calories burned, along with a guilt-free dinner, wah!), we decided to fill a brown paper bag that someone left on our porch with food for the needy instead.

Last night over dinner I asked if Kevin would run over to Safeway this week and pick up some stuff for the bag. He raised his eyebrows. "Safeway?" "What's wrong with that?" I asked. "So, you mean you want me to go get some cans of creamed canned corn? The same canned corn you refuse to eat?"

And just like that, dear god! The boy made a point. A very very good one. A big one. He called me out on exactly the same thing I've been preaching high and low in recent months......and that is that just because people are poor does not mean they have to eat shitty, junky, unhealthy processed food.

Now, maybe you're thinking that ANY cans of corn are better than NO cans of corn. And that someone who has nothing to eat would be very appreciative of a can of corn, and that I should go fuck myself, pompous Whole Foods shopper. Welllll. OK. You might be right. Who do I think I am, anyways?

(Apparently I'm someone who thinks I have a very argumentative readership.)

Whatever. Let me make my point, and it is this: Give a man a box of Fruity Pebbles, he will eat for a day and probably get fat and have cavities, teach a man to purchase a bulk bag of organic brown rice cereal, and not only will he eat for a lifetime (because he will be healthy), but he will also maybe learn that THE BAG OF ORGANIC BROWN RICE CEREAL COST AT LEAST 2 DOLLARS LESS THAN THE SHITTY FRUITY PEBBLES SOME IDIOT PUT IN HIS THANKSGIVING BASKET IN THE FIRST PLACE.

So, guess where I went over lunch? (Wild Oats!) And guess what I bought for the charitable food drive? (A bunch of good fucking shit, that's what.)

So yeah, I love it when I get caught up in my own hypocrisy.

Topic #2: Today is election day! (God, and I am so astute! Riveting, even!) I love the excitement of election day. I get totally wrapped up in it. It is better than ANY sports game anywhere. This year is a little anti-climatic since I voted way back last week and all...but today is the day:

I hope Bill Ritter becomes our next gov.
I hope Satan Musgrave gets outed as a lesbian (um, and loses too).
I hope the African American guy in Tennessee wins. Just because.
I hope the marijuana bill passes (because that would really be something, and the guy who put it on the ballot is really super cool).
I hope gay people in Colorado get partner rights and that the door remains open for them to legally marry someday.
I hope the Dems take over Congress and the Senate.
I hope you voted (and we all know that means I hope you voted with a liberal mind....haha.).
Seriously, I simply hope you voted.

*Yes, that's how long it took me to get this post finished.

Strangely intrigued.

2006-11-06T13:21:00.000-07:00

I am passing along this glimpse of one woman's insanity that I found on Sarcomical.

Hooooleeee CRAP. Literally. Crap, that is. Lots of it. Check it out. You simply won't believe it.

It's enough to drive someone like me, who you all know and love as the world's biggest fucking neatfreak, apeshit. Dear GOD. I feel all twitchy and yuckywonkas just looking at it.

And also, strangely intrigued.

Because I have to.

2006-11-05T19:13:00.000-07:00

Today has been a typical cozy Rose and Kev Sunday.....slept in, did laundry, made BLTs, laid in a chaise in the back yard and read the paper (it was gorgeous out this afternoon), endured some football, just got back from our weekly Sunday pizza at Proto's. Now we're snuggled on the couch watching the last episode of Sopranos (on demand)- we'll finally be caught up on them and ready for next season.

(Sunday blogging is hard, y'all! This all sounds so lame.)

We went to a party last night. Guess what I brought? TEQUILA. I've come to the conclusion that people either love it or are scared of it. I think last night they were mostly scared ;) But still, half the bottle was gone by the time we left. Tequila is also not a downer....I think there is some scientific proof to that.....it was 3 am and I was still rearin' to go!

(This Sopranos episode is the one where Vido is outed as an "ass muncher"....ha ha. A few days ago Kevin was walking downtown to class and some guy drove up beside him and asked him if he was a "worker" and Kevin said "No, you don't know me" and the guy said "I don't fucking care, you're a worker right? Get in!" The guy thought Kevin was a male prostitute! Incidentally the guy was also Ted Haggard.....blahahhaa. Bad joke. But Kev really did get propositioned.....too funny. He gets hit on all the time by men.....he's so super cute and friendly ;)

Alas, the rest of the weekend was chock full of eating out (don't go to Brix downtown....terrible) and some minor anxiety about the holidays and the "future." I am determined not to let the travel associated with the holidays and the accompanying $$ get me into a tizzy (we're going back east for Thanksgiving AND Christmas). I am also now totally amped about the idea of moving to Wilmington, NC. I need the ocean back in my life in a big fat way. And greenery. That too.

The pets, they use keyboards.

2006-11-04T17:42:00.000-07:00

"I don't need to be a part of that whole scene." - Kevin

I just asked Kev to do a little guest blogging and he turned me down.

Um, OK. Next?

Hi everyone, this is Lucy. I know my mama writes a lot about me on here. I am not shy, not like daddy is. Although sometimes people think I am. Like the time daddy took me down to the Zen Dog store (where Amanda our petsitter works!) and there was a doggie masseuse who made me lie down and I was reallllllllyyyy scared. Everyone thought I was a big skittish wussy. But as soon she started rubbing my muscles, it felt sooooooo good and then I relaxed and everyone thought I was so cute. Mama has cute attacks because of me. Heeeheeee. Today mama and I went for a big long run. I know it was hard for mama because she drank a bunch of the red juice that she likes so much last night, and she has been tired since she went to Mexico. But I was happy. I love to run. I think it made mama feel happy too. Well, I need to go get my ball. Daddy just asked me where it was. Bye!

Thanks, Lucy. I think Biggie Purrs has something he wants to say too:

I'm hungry. Feed me something. Meow.

Well. Thank you my lovely pets for that insightful commentary. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am off to get my boyfriend drunk so maybe he'll consider blogging here too. I already have a head start......it's happy hour! (Can you tell?) Hasta manana!

Let's go to a happy place, shall we?

2006-11-03T14:42:00.000-07:00

Guess where that happy place is? Ha ha. I have had a SERIOUS case of vacation blues this week. The little Mexi-flu I picked up hasn't helped either. (Though I did lose ~5 lbs and counting...) Kevin thinks it's just a hangover of epic proportions. And it very well could be, I suppose. I met him out for dinner last night and only drank half a Corona before wanting to die. So unlike me.

Today, though, I feel better. Almost normal, even. To celebrate, let's re-up on the TEQUILA! Ha ha! Let's see some more of my pictures. How about that?

Here we all are. At a bar I believe called The Jungle. Are you wondering how I know these beautiful ladies? College in Virginia. We all lived together at one time or another. Um, yes, I know I look totally trashed. I have an image to uphold, you know.

This is one of my favorites...no clue who the gang sign flashers are...I love the kind of photos you have no clue taking! This picture will make me laugh forever.

We went to a club called Bulldog's next to our hotel and this band played. Apparently they are muy famoso. It was actually pretty fun, and I'm not a clubby kind of girl, although I do loooooooove to dance. I stayed up all night. Without the use of any chemical substances, I might add.

Finally, a picture suitable for grandma! Here we're at a place called Pericos in la cuidad Cancun and as soon as you walk in they make you put on this garb. Touristy as all get out. Emion's co-worker promised we would get TWISTED there.

We did.

This chick walks around with a pot and for $2 she puts it on your head, knocks you around a little, then shoves a shot of tequila in your mouth. So fucking weird.

We did about 5 of them. I might also point out that we ate next to nothing the whole time we were in Cancun. At least, I didn't. At Pericos I ordered a $25 plate and ate all of 3 bites. Meals were just not that imperative. =)

Em and Sara at Bulldog's. Twwwwwiisssssted.

A la 5 am....twisted-er.

(The end. The rest you can see on Flickr here.)

Well guys, I guess it's time to say goodbye to Cancun now and get back to reality. Whatever else happened will STAY THERE. In Cancun, that is. What happens in Cancun, stays in Cancun. Right? And trust me, the stories I'd love to tell.

P.S. Fret not, I will be blogging all weekend long due to my, ahem, commitment. You don't have to wait until Monday anymore! Blogging at home.....what's that? Ha ha.

A non-Cancun post!

2006-11-02T16:47:00.000-07:00

This is why I fucking hate the Christian Right. What a bunch of fucking hypocrites.

Now if you'll excuse me, this has just inspired me to go vote early, bitches!

YES on Referendum I.
NO on Amendment 43.

Chicas locas.

2006-11-02T14:05:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, this was my first trip to Vegas. Oops. I really just wrote Vegas! Ha ha!! Cancun is totally the Vegas of Mexico. Good lord. Anyway, it was definitely the spring break trip I never had in college....well, kinda. I did come out to Breckenridge from VA one spring break to snowboard. But this, THIS was my first tropical, all-girl, get-completely-hammered-out-of-your-mind, spring-breaky style trip and from now on, I'm set on taking one every year for life. No husbands, no kids....just GIRLS ONLY and a shitload of sunshine, trashy magazines, dancing, and liquor. Lots of liquor.

We stayed at the NH Krystal. It was walking distance to everything, which was great. There was minimal construction on our place, but everyplace else? Oh yeah....tons. At least every building had walls ripped off and no landscaping. The destruction from the hurricane last year was really evident...it made me feel sad. I also felt sad for seeing an Outback Steakhouse down the street, so maybe that's besides the point.

Our hotel had the best beach and pool area. Here's the view from our room:

Oh my god.....I'm so fucking addicted to beach vacations! There really is nothing better than sitting by ocean drinking cocktails all day. NOTHING. I mean, seriously. I'm hard pressed to think of anything right now.

We probably consumed about 5 gallons of tequila. Mostly in shot form. Here we are at La Distileria. This was the first night. They served our tequila shots (good ones, not Jose) with tomato juice.....mmmmmmmm. I LOVE YOU GOOD TEQUILA.

And here we are on the second day, at the infamous Slices, taking another shot. This time of something akin to Smurf Piss:

We had about 8 or 9 of these EACH. It was their Slices "specialty"...ha ha. I don't know if it had any alcohol in it, but they were free and true to the alcoholic nature of all of us, we drank every damn thing that came our way.

Me and one of my many Mexican boyfriends, Jose. Jose had grills. They were kind of sexy.

I had another Mexican boyfriend too, Gerardo, our bellman. "I love you hair, you like MOVIE STAR." We got pretty serious and then he dumped me on the last night. Ha ha. He took very good care of us.

And would I ever leave Cancun without dancing on a bar somewhere? Keep in mind that it's only about 2 PM on our second day in this picture.

Clearly the chicas locas have only just gotten started. And clearly it's too bad for the chicas locas that they're friends with a blogger. I think everyone was too shitfaced all weekend to ask the age-old question: IS THIS GOING ON THE BLOG?

El Dia de los Muertos.

2006-11-02T13:26:00.000-07:00

It's too bad we just missed el Dia de los Muertos en Mexico. It would have been a total party. Though, come to think of it, we didn't exactly need any more reasons to party.

They really like their skeletons in Cancun, don't they?

Here we go...

2006-11-01T12:17:00.000-07:00

I have so much footage, so many photos, so many stories from the trip...I have no idea where to even begin. Take this as a warning: there's going to be a lot about Cancun in the next week or so. Get ready.

Let's start with a movie, shall we?!

This was taken Saturday at this bar called Slices, where the only slice of anything they had was a lime. We were on our way to pick up some Mexican tchotchkes and decided we needed a quick shot of tequila to make the haggling easier. Slices happened to be right there....

Needless to say, 4 hours passed and we were still drinking at Slices. This little man named Fausto was our busboy and el era muy limpio! He let nary an ash fall before swiping the ash tray from the table. A drink bottle never sat empty, a coaster never got soggy. I, of course, greatly approved =)

And also?

¡Fuimos bebidos muy a chicas!

(Sorry! I didn't have the sound on...I'll figure something out.)

Dain Bramage.

2006-11-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

We're back and we survived.

More later....

Before I go...

2006-10-26T15:04:00.000-06:00

I'm doing NaBloPoMo. National Blog Posting Month.

God, I am SUCH a joiner.

Basically this means that for the month of November I will post each and everyday.

Which for me, is really no biggie.

I just want to do what all the cool kids are doing.

* * *

At this time tomorrow I will be pouring tequila down my throat like nobody's business while donning a black bikini and a big Mexi-coated grin.

Jealous much?

That is, provided all this SNOW doesn't fuck up my travel! Yuck. It's only October and already I'm hating it. I know, tell me to move back south. I just might.

Anyway.....adios, amigos. Hasta "Halloween"! =)

Because my fugly picture shouldn't be the first thing you see anymore.

2006-10-26T10:48:00.000-06:00

Moving the picture of me and my stupendous forehead on down the page, here's a picture of Lu-Bird:

lucy's favorite snoozing spot
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

She hasn't slept on this thing since we moved (it's up in our bedroom now), but on Sunday morning we all smushed together on it to read the paper and maybe did some other unmentionable acts upon it (they don't call it a LoveSac for nothing!)and I think she remembered that hey! This big purple thing is the diggity! And we haven't been able to get her off it since. She is SUCH mama's little stinky bird. What a punkin. What a poosnickers. Doesn't she make your heart melt or is it just me?

(Just me.)

$150 later.

2006-10-25T14:27:00.000-06:00

From looking kind of scary....with a big forehead and sweaty, flat, just-went-for-a-run hair...

To this, all coiffed and blown out and sitting in my big girl leather office chair.

Hmmm. The jury's still out on this one.

Weekendy Goodness.

2006-10-23T09:10:00.000-06:00

PEE PEE

OK, PEE PEE rocked. I totally take my snivelling back. I thought they were going to be some kind of angsty screechy annoying indie rock, but they are not! Though they kind of seem like a bunch of people who used to be in their high school bands, Pee Pee (terrible name notwithstanding....although you know it's fun to say!) was great. Listen to the song "Impossible" on their MySpace. You'll like it.

THAI FOOD

Before Pee Pee we had Swing Thai with Connor and Sarah and it was yummy.

SATURDAY MORNING

No hangover. Enough said.

Ran some errands, dealt with the madness that is the Cherry Creek Whole Foods, took poochie for a stroll to our favorite store, Corks.

GUMBO'S

Thank god I saved up calories all day for Gumbo's! All I have to say is: BUTTER. Creamy herbed garlic butter.......yum. Gumbo's was a nice surprise. We had the best service, a good bottle of wine, and the food was decent. I started with an almond goat cheese salad and then had the blackened catfish atop crawfish etoufee with sauteed veggies (the waitress was nice enough to let us know the rice was beef-based)and Kevin had Mahi-Mahi in some kind of cream sauce with potatoes, and he too had a bowl of crawfish etoufee. It was completely fattening, but tasty.

THE CRUISE ROOM

I have always loved the Cruise Room (in the Oxford Hotel), mainly because of my undying devotion to good martinis. I also love the pretty people who go there. Saturday night did not disappoint. Two martinis and a heated conversation about whether or not our future kids will attend Catholic school later, we called it a night and walked home.

(Consensus: Our kids will not be attending Catholic school. Ha ha.)

SUNDAY MORNING

Also no hangover. Enough said, redux.

I made the birthday boy french toast. We lounged about over coffee and the Sunday paper. I swept leaves off the patio and did some tidying around the house (tidying? Who am I, my mother? Hi Mom!).

CUPCAKES

Pull yourself off the floor, I baked something. I made organic whole wheat chocolate cupcakes with organic cream cheese frosting (OK- there was non-organic powdered sugar in the frosting. I guess no one can certify me.) and topped them with almond slivers. They came out just OK. They were pretty dry. I have a large plateful left, and I have the feeling they will not get eaten. At least not by me. Oh well, they were nice to stick candles in!

TV

We decided over the weekend that we are going to limit TV watching in our house to 3 hours each per week. Kevin used up his allowance yesterday watching the Broncos game, and I used up an hour of mine watching Desperate Housewives. We've realized that we could be doing more constructive things than sitting around arguing about who gets to watch what. TV has a way of slowly creeping in and taking over - particularly around this time of year.

PIZZA

That's what we had for dinner last night. From Gaetano's.

BIRTHDAY

Kevin's. I think it was a good one.

A hellaciously long post, a lot of talk about Red Lobster.

2006-10-20T13:50:00.000-06:00

Last night I went to a happy hour party where they had something called raclette. Ever had this? Me either. I'd never even heard of it. It is awfully tasty, despite the pervasive, overpowering odor of ASS it emanates. I don't think I'll ever host a raclette party because I am super-conscious of bad smells, but if any of you do, I'll still come. I might be wearing a surgical mask, but I'll be there.

(A word to the wise: set out a bowl of digestive enzymes for your raclette-eating guests. My pipes are all fucked up today!!)

* * *

Over at Mighty Girl today, people are commenting about movies they think are smart and sunny. Well, someone recommended Just Like Heaven, a movie we just watched this week. They said it was "smart." People. This movie was like THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN. Jesus. It was so bad I wanted to cry. And I have a pretty high threshold for bad movies. Even more of a bummer was that it starred my 2 favorites.

Someone also recommended The Squid and the Whale, which we also watched this week. OK- it was a great movie. But sunny? This movie totally hit home for me. It kind of wrecked me emotionally for a few hours, actually. I wrote about it. Maybe someday you'll read it. Being from a fucked up family really sucks.

* * *

Someone has tickets for us to go see a band tonight called Pee Pee. PEE PEE! Um, I don't think so. With a name like that, they don't want someone like me there, what with my mentality of a 13-year-old boy and all.

* * *

This Sunday is Kevin's birthday....the big 32! I do love older men.

To celebrate, we are going to Kevin's very favorite restaurant, Red Lobster.

For Christmas last year, Kevin's dad's girlfriend gave him a gift certificate to Red Lobster, because she knows how much he likes it. On our trip home from Cincinnati (where we spent Christmas), we stopped in Topeka Kansas for the night. And what do you know? A Red Lobster was just down the street from the hotel! There was an hour wait (only in Topeka!) so we sat at the bar and got hammered. Then we ate shrimp soaked in five gallons of butter and wilty iceberg lettuce salad and deep fried flounder and those delicious stiff, cold cheese biscuits. And $30 only goes so far at RL, even if it is just RL, so when all was said and done we blew almost $100 at Red Lobster.

Now, what's true in the above paragraph?

Well....

We DID get a $30 gift certificate.
We DID get wasted at the bar in the Topeka Red Lobster.
Our meals WERE about 25,000 calories each.
We DID miscalculate how far the $30 would go.
We DID feel very ashamed for spending too much money at the Lobsta'.
We DID feel very midwestern American and I think we may have even discussed going to Wal-Mart after our high class meal.

(God, sorry. I am starting to get snotty. The gift certificate was very nice and we actually had a very good time. It came in handy on our road trip and seeing as we probably wouldn't be caught dead in a Red Lobster in Denver, the Topeka location was just perfect. And it was better than eating at a Waffle House.)

So, the only thing UNTRUE is that K really likes it! Um, he hates it. Me too. HATE. On the other hand, both of our families happen to think that Red Lobster is L-I-V-I-N. Guess we know where we're going when the clans get together. Really looking forward to it.

We are actually going to Gumbo's for the birthday dinner because Kev really wants Cajun food. It's a chain and therefore I am experiencing hesitation of the food-snob variety. Has anyone been there? The menu looks OK, I think.

* * *

And one last little Red Lobster memory, just because it's Friday and all. My dad's family goes to the RL for every holiday, birthday, anniversary, whatever. It's always and ONLY Red Lobster. Only the best, you know!

A couple years ago we were there for my grandma's birthday. Our waitress was a big dykely lady named Bob. (Please excuse my lack of PCness, but seriously. The chick was large and in-charge. And she asked for it by calling herself BOB.) I was very nice to Bob, saying my pleases and thank yous and generally just being my nice-to-waitstaff self. Compared to the indifference of my family (while not exactly rude, they definitely don't exude charm), my pleasantries must have had quite the effect, sending her roaring into the ladies room with an insatiable urge to masturbate.

I'm KIDDING. Lord, I have no idea what's wrong with me today.

Anyway, whatever it was resulted in Bob slipping me her number! And then! She sent a waitress friend out into the damn Red Lobster parking lot, where I was surrounded by my ailing elderly relatives and bible-thumping cousins, to ask if I was interested in A DATE. A DATE! With Big Bob! I politely said no thanks, I'm taken, and handed the number back.

Well, word immediately spread between cars and I stood there wanting to die while my homophobic family ROARED. That is, everyone who could hear. My grandpa, bless his heart, couldn't hear and looked confused. My dad screamed "THE WAITRESS BOB JUST ASKED ROSANNA ON A DATE!" Um, and grandpa still looked confused. "BOB HAS THE HOTS FOR ROSANNA, SHE IS A LESBIAN!"

(My boss totally just walked in and I just typed LESBIAN in all caps. I think I better go.)

I think grandpa finally got it. The end.

* * *

TGIF! I've drug myself through this week with big old metal balls chained to my ankles. (Figuratively speaking.) I am mind-numbingly bored. Skull-crackingly unchallenged. Ready to stay home and make babies.

Take that with a grain of salt, y'all. But I will say that at the gym the other day I looked longingly at the mommies playing in the pool with their kids, knowing I had to come back and sit in this quiet office of darkness and lame. Being a SAHM looked really fucking good right then.

I had a momentary glimpse of hope today when I realized that this life isn't forever. I need to stop fretting about the future and just be here today. I'm missing it all.

Crackstrips?

2006-10-19T09:18:00.000-06:00

Back to the teeth whitening (see 2 posts down):

I better watch out, I may become a bleachorexic. Ha ha.

They're making teeth whitening sound like the next Botox! Sorry, but I would rather look at tic-tac white teeth than a mouthful of yellowed funk. A little Whitestrip action would do a lot of people good. Just sayin'....

And this will please Kevin, who spent the entirety of last night's episode of Laguna Beach googling "I Hate Laguna Beach," someone blames that show for the whitening craze!

I guess I should feel guilty now not only for watching crap TV but for using Whitestrips?

Speaking of guilt - here's another product to add to your current list of guilty pleasures: dryer sheets. We found an article last night listing all of the chemicals in them. Basically a dryer sheet just coats all of your clothes in toxins - all of which have been linked to cancer.

Another public service announcement brought to you by Rosalicious.

Bitchfest stew.

2006-10-18T16:34:00.000-06:00

Chop up some morning grumpiness. Toss in cold snowy ice all over the car and some thirty minutes late because of it. Blend in a little boss on your ass because his boss is on his ass, fold in some snide colleague comments until pissed off. Beat it with an ass-kicking workout mixed with asthma, followed by a soggy gnarly lunch sandwich. Top it all off with some insane tummy gurgles and a piercing headache.

Bitchfest stew.

It's so not cool to be me today.

She had teeth as white as snow.

2006-10-17T15:32:00.000-06:00

It's SNNNNNnnnnnoooooooWING! First snow of the season.

Those of you who don't live here and have never been here probably think that this snow is all par for the course. But lo...no. Contrary to the belief of some members of my family who have never been west of West Virginia, Denver is not snowy and pine-scented and decorated in wooden moose cut-outs. It's temperate and sunny and urban and above all, it's FLAT. It can be cold sometimes, yes. And it's true that the weather changes quickly. Sunday we golfed. Today there is a frenzy for new snowboard bindings.

And....OKKKKKK, you got me. It snows for the first time every October too. But it just seems too soon! I am still getting bathing suits in the mail! (For real. There is a package from J. Crew on my doorstep as I write this.)

Alright. I am wee bit amped. It's so cozy. Instead of "an early morning doctor's appointment" (aka. "sleeping in") yesterday morning, I should have hookied today. I could be home with a nice steaming mug of cocoa and some Oprah right now. A hot bath. Some wine. Some cheese and bread. Slippers and warm jammie pants. Christmas carols....

On to lamer things:

These Crest Whitestrips are wreaking havoc on my dentures!! Ha ha. Dentures, I don't wear dentures. But I do love the word! TEETH. My TEETH are killing me today. All in an effort for glimmering chompers. While Kevin poo-poos the Whitestrips and hates their slimy nastiness, I have to say: I love them. To me, goodness is white teeth. I value white teeth. I will suffer for the white teeth. And since the white teeth-makers are currently prohibiting me from eating salty crunchy snacks, I love them even more.

In the same vain (Get it? Vain? Lord, I'm on a roll today.), I am ready for a new look. Feel free to weigh in here: Bangs? Long swoopy bangs and some stylish layers? That's kind of what I'm thinking. I am a little scared to see my stylist - the last time I was in for highlights, I was super-duper hungover and she had to deal with my super-duper sweaty hungover brow and my super-duper sweaty hungover attitude. Bleck. Redemption is what I need. And a picture of someone's good hair. Anyone?

On behalf of bosses everywhere.

2006-10-16T13:53:00.000-06:00

Today is National Boss Day and my people didn't get me NUTHIN'. No card, no flowers, no candy, no thanks for that $3,000 raise last June. Not a goddamn thing.

(Apparently I channel Michael on The Office....)

I kid, I kid. A little. I mean, hey, who's the one who threw a big wine and cheese bash on Secretary's Day last year? Where's my wine and cheese, HUH? HUH?

Let me be the first to deliver the earth-shattering news that being a boss is certainly no picnic. In fact, most of the time I hate it.

And when I wasn't the boss? Hated it then too. That's what we're trained to do from a young age on is hate our bosses, right? Talk shit about them? Criticize them for making more money, doing less work, and generally enjoying more perks and bennies?

Yeah. A big What to the Ever!

I have to sit through pointless and painful lunches and meetings. I have to rein in overzealous secretaries. I have to obey the rules of HR. I have to meet budgets and negotiate raises and be the one to take the heat should the shit go down.

PEOPLE. MANAGEMENT IS NOT EASY.

I guess there are some bosses who probably get off on the whole control aspect of management, but not me. I just want to come in, be friends with everyone, do my work, and go home. I can't bear the thought that people I work with who don't share my title probably talk shit about me. Call me paranoid, but I know how it is. I was once a shit-talker myself. Think: my boss is not nearly as smart as I am, I could totally do her job, she just sits and IMs all day, I do all the work.

Sound familiar?

Anyway, I am not saying you need to drop everything and give your boss a big old bear hug or a schmaltzy card (suck-up!), just keep in mind today that your boss (provided he or she is not the most heinous boss alive, there are definitely those) is a person too, just trying to make a living and trying to make sure a job gets done. It's not always the greatest place to be but it is what it is.

And when that same boss gives you a kickass reference for your first management position? You will totally see.

The Special Magic of Balance.

2006-10-15T12:18:00.000-06:00

Let's start with a few random pics from Friday night:

Yoni, Jess, and Travis...it's Jess's birthday!

Clearly some sweet photo-taking skills.

Gross. Don't even ask....

K-Mac gives thumbs up to a delicious Stella.

We all went bowling beforehand for Jess's birthday. I didn't do so well.....but I did manage to beat K-Mac each game....yeah, we have that healthy couples' competitiveness. I did something naughty at the bowling alley, in fact I am even embarrassed to say what. OK- but I am not proud of this. I got busted for stealing a jello shot. A JELLO SHOT! They were in little plastic cups with lids on the bar, in a big bowl of ice, right next to the free plate of snack mix I was chowing from. They looked free so I took one, an orange one. The bartender caught me and said, all angry-like, "you need to pay for that" and so sheepishly I extracted a dollar and handed it over. In retrospect it is almost an honest mistake, but still. I feel like white trash.

Speaking of white trash, we had a most awful breakfast experience yesterday morning at the Breakfast Queen. Kmac woke and declared he needed breakfast for his hangover immediately. He asked what I needed, to which I replied "I need Special Magic." "Like the Special Magic of Breakfast Queen?" He asked.

Well, sorta. We certainly weren't going to nice place feeling like we did. And waste a perfectly good breakfast with headache and nausea? So a greasy joint it was. A greasy Breakfast Queen where they forgot my drink, messed up Kevin's order, and served up a perfectly barfalicious burrito brimming with canned mushrooms and orange cheese.

We even caught a waitress dropping toast on the floor, and instead of tossing it, she shook it off with great care and put it back on the plate. The Special Magic of Breakfast Queen indeed!

I know. You must think all my weekends are spent full of nausea and headache. Not so. In fact, we're all up and productive today and I am preparing for a nice run in the gorgeous fall sun. It's all about balance, all about the balance. The Special Magic of Balance.

I love this woman.

2006-10-13T16:26:00.000-06:00

I'll start your weekends off right with my favorite artist.

Now if you'll excuse me, I am off to kick some ass in bowling.

Have a great weekend!

Fancies. Tickled?

2006-10-11T14:15:00.000-06:00

Blogging? Eeeehhhh.....ick. Just not feeling it this week. Although, like working out, getting here to this blank screen was the hard part. Now that I'm here....oh! The possibilities.

I could tickle your fancy with a few thoughts on

- My cardio-kickboxing class and the instructor who is a 5 foot tall bodybuilder. She kicks our ass each and every time. "Do you know why I teach so hard? Because it's fun!" Ahhahhahaha. Nobody ever returns to her class except ME. I still go every Wednesday at noon and because of this, I have developed a huge sense of accomplishment: I can make it through an hour of her intense (And I do mean INTENSE!)aerobic exercise. Granted, it is the City of Golden Recreation Center, not Gold's Gym, where doing sets of jumping jacks with 5 lb weights is probably the norm. Ummm, we also did "the pony" today, which I don't think I've done since Jess and I took aerobics with her mom at the Y in 7th grade. Giddyup.

- The weather and the soup I've been meaning to make for 2 weeks. (Yeah- lame topic.)Tonight: it will get made. The soup, I mean. The plants also need to find homes inside since we're about to have our first freeze. I don't know where the hell I am going to put them all. It's a sickness, the amount of houseplants I've purchased, rescued, and revived. But they are all my babies, each and every one. I envy you people in California who can leave them out all year.

- Lucy. But damn if you don't hear enough about her. Kevin just called to tell me that he didn't take Lucy to her puppycure appointment to get her nails done. Instead, he bought the clippers and declared that from now on we're doing it ourselves. I am sceeeeered! Don't wanna.

- Kevin and his a super-human sized package. KIDDING. He has an interview next week for a big boy professional job downtown with a FIRM. He also has a meeting tonight and you know what that means? I can watch Laguna Beach without getting shit! That is, provided none of you give me any. I know. It's quality programming, you don't have to remind me of that.

- My drunken antics I just heard about. On Friday after the DAM party, we went to a friend's house in the 'hood and they had a friend from out of town visiting. The friend had a dog who resembled Lucy. I apparently sat on the couch and mauled the dog with babytalk and snuggles for a good 20 minutes, finally declaring to her owner: "You better just let me take her home because you'll never be able to give her as much love as I will." The friend was not impressed.

- Highland Tavern. I partly just wanted to type it in here because it's a new place and they have no website. I thought that those of you googling it, as I did last week and unfortunately ended up on some hideously obnoxious MySpace pages, would make it here and then I could tell you to go on over there and give them some business! 34th and Navajo. Just what I need, another drinking hole within stumbling distance. I have been there twice already and it's only been open less than a week. Ha ha! They're real nice in there.....so please go drink up!

- Halloween. What are you going to be? I have relieved the pressure of a costume of its duties by leaving the country that weekend. For the actual day, I will simply take advantage of my current state of mind: a hungover, jet-lagged, sun-soaked tourist who's just been to Mexico. Voila! A costume!

- Last.fm. If you aren't using this wonderful music service at your desks at work, you should be, even though I am listening to all songs tagged "alt-country" and currently Britney Spears' "I'm not a girl, I'm not not yet a woman" is on. People! Is this your idea of a joke? If so, I laughed. Now start tagging songs correctly! Although come to think of it, I sort of see the logic, seeing as Britney is basically a country hick from Louisiana.

Your fancies. Were any of them tickled? Ahhhh yes, didn't think so. Back to work it is.

I want it.

2006-10-10T09:03:00.000-06:00

I am normally not one to covet and spazz, but when I saw a girl riding this on Sunday, I freaked.

I HAVE TO HAVE IT.

Fun weekend.

2006-10-09T09:13:00.000-06:00

Friday night, K and I went to HotDAM: Party on the Edge, the opening shindig for the new Denver Art Museum. Good lord, what a bash. So much food and wine and so many awesomely dressed people. And good art. I guess there was that too....ha ha. Though I didn't really check any of it out. I thought I would wait and go back when I was wearing sensible shoes and maybe sober? But the new building is AMAZING. Truly. It was also awesome to see some arty friends I hadn't seen in a long long time.

Kev in front of new building.

Super nice guys. I promised them they would appear on rosalicious. Here you go fellows =)

At around midnight or 1 am they busted out breakfast...bloody marys and mimosas! YUM!

Party goers.

Saturday morning: you guessed it. Feeling rough! I clearly haven't figured out the secret to maintaining my rock and roll lifestyle without the crushing headaches that accompany it. Dude! I wasn't going to let it get me down this weekend though, so I up-and-adamed and rode bikes downtown with Kevin for some lox and pickled goods at Zaidy's. After that, it was OK to totally want to die. Ugh.

Yesterday I ran 5K in Race for the Cure with people from work and about 80,000 others. The run was really good, but you wouldn't believe the corporatization of the shit afterwards. (As I write I am eating a pack of sliced apples from McDONALD'S that I got free.....YUCK!) The amount of free swag was insane. And people were fighting for it too....you should have seen the frenzy for a sample box of Special K Red Berries.

Regardless, it was good to show support for my friend Susan, who is recovering from breast cancer. Since we're so close, our place served as home base for most of our team, and I'm sure you're not at all surprised to hear that I served up bloody marys and quiche for the after-race...."Boozin' for Susan." Oh yeahhhhh.

The afternoon was spent lying about watching girly movies and snapping at the neighbor brats who keep throwing shit into the yard and then ringing my doorbell to get me to get up and get it back for them. I think the little punks also stole one of my pumpkins. Their parents need a little talking to, although they don't speak English....en espanol, como se dice* "your kids keep throwing crap in our yard and tying stuffed animals to string to taunt Lucy?"

The naivety of living in an urban 'hood is seriously wearing off.

*probably not spelled correctly....

Back to our regularly scheduled hilarity....

2006-10-06T11:50:00.000-06:00

OK. This is seriously some hilarious shit. I saw it when she published it the first time, but Amalah has resurrected it again today and behold: just as motherfucking funny!

The girl truly has a gift.

Be a part of something bigger.

2006-10-05T08:41:00.000-06:00

This started as a comment, but figured it may as well be a post...

I've kind of had an epiphany- or, at least, an attitude adjustment. Last night I was thinking about the collective power of doing, well, anything. In my job** I am always preaching things like: "If everyone just gave $10 think how much we'd have." And my favorite tagline for the year: "It's not up to one person to make a huge gift, we rely on the support of EVERYONE."

And so it is with me: It's not up to me to change the world, or even be "the perfect little consumer" who does everything right. It's the small choices I make, when combined with everyone else's choices, that will make a difference. If everyone did just one small thing in their lives to reduce consumption and waste, or if everyone put their money somewhere that supported sustainable living....for example:

If everyone switched their toothpaste to Tom's of Maine.
If everyone switched to organic milk and eggs.
If everyone bought just one item of clothing at a second-hand store.
If everyone ate red meat just once a week, or not at all.
If everyone wrapped their Christmas gifts in recycled paper or grocery bags.
If everyone let their car sit in the driveway just one day a week.
If everyone replaced just 2 lights with energy-saving bulbs.
If everyone shopped just once a week, or once a month.

If everyone in the entire country even did just one of these things it would totally add up and change life as we know it! People (including ME) have to realize that you don't have to run out and buy a hybrid (though it would be nice...haha) and install all new bamboo flooring to be a smart citizen. You just have to do SOMETHING.

Guilt acts as our moral compass and while that's a good thing in a lot of situations, unfortunately, I feel it stronger than most. I also suffer from crippling perfectionism. Let me remind you all that perfectionism is NOT a good thing and in fact, I laugh when people throw it out there like "oh, I am SUCH a perfectionist" because they have no idea what a real honest-to-god disorder it is. Perfectionism doesn't imply that I think I'm perfect, or that "being perfect" is my goal, it's that I have unrealistic expectations for myself and those around me and often can't clearly see the world as it really is, or can't deal with the reality of the way things are. I have a hard time being satisfied...it's a coping mechanism. Basically, it sucks. But it's getting better.

I am finding that it is absolutely necessary to frame things in this way - small choices mean something. They mean everything. Go on - join me. Make one today!

** Really a huge problem right now in and of itself, but that's for another day.

Just thought you should know.

2006-10-04T15:17:00.000-06:00

Upon the recommendation of my boyfriend, who never buys ANYTHING, I just finished a rather life-changing book: Affluenza.

True to form, I have shitloads to say about it. But since I just spent 45 minutes bitching about the book and the ills of our society to a co-worker and I've done gone and made myself TIRED of the topic, I'll let you read it for yourselves.

But you have to promise to read it, OK? Promise? I even gave you a head start by linking to its Amazon page, where you can buy it - APPROPRIATELY - used for a mere 6 bucks.

(Better yet: We got it from the LIBRARY 'cause that's how we roll. Sniff. Sniff.)

Suffice it to say, this book was yet another avenue to sad and gloomyville. Instead of getting all accusatory up in society's hypothetical grill (why am I speaking like a gangsta bitch?), let's talk about me for approximately one second. Me, and how absolutely crappy I feel that I am one of these people. I consume tons of shit with the best (er, worst) of them. And it really does make me feel all empty and gross inside. Even more empty than the emptiness I started with.

Hey. I said approximately one second and that's all you get. I am not having a happy week. I know why. It'll pass. I still made it to yoga last night - POWER yoga, mind you - and an ass-kicking class over lunch today. I'm trying. It's just that there are some areas of my life that are hollow and yuck right now and it is seriously bringing me down.

Down down downtown Julie Brown.

Drinking Liberally.

2006-10-02T12:48:00.000-06:00

In the truest sense of the words.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Drinky Drinky

2006-09-29T16:32:00.000-06:00

Well.

First I go to this with her, who just blogged so informatively about this, and now Kevin has gone and joined this. (They passed out free green vodka shots! Awesome!)

Beer is clearly on the brain of many fine folks.

But back to this. Bloggers! Y'all should come to the DL thing on Saturday night. I am going and she might be too. And of course she will be there....

(And *I* am tired of this excessive pronoun usage.)

Happy weekends to all!

In pints we trust (that would be wine glasses for me),

rosalish.

Major cuteness.

2006-09-29T14:24:00.000-06:00

I am so not ready to have a baby right now.

(Cramps and swollen boobs at the moment notwithstanding.)

But damn if Amalah's video for her kid's first birthday doesn't make me think twice about that.

Scrumptiousness.

2006-09-28T10:26:00.000-06:00

This photo is dual-purposed today!

First - it's my Love Thursday submission.

I LOVE GUACAMOLE. Love it. Looooooove it. Favorite food ever. I eat the hell out of some avocados. In fact, I eat avocado each and every day in some shape or form.

I even love the color.

(Side note: One month from today I will be arriving in MEXICO ready to eat the hell out of some authentic guac with my best girls! Yayyyyyyyy!!!)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/rosalicious/215091098/
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

This photo was also chosen to appear in an online Denver guide. Out of all my sassy Flickr pictures they pick this one? Um, OK. Maybe because it's guac from LoLa, and LoLa is ohsotrendy.

Happy Love Thursday and here's to LOVIN' FOOD! =)

Put your money where it matters.

2006-09-27T19:59:00.000-06:00

Here we go again. SOAP-BOX!

(Kinda sad that anger brings me here most often, huh?)

Anyway. I'm coming to you LIVE from my living room where we are eating from a nice cheese and olive plate, drinking a soft-tannined Italian Shiraz, and watching....

A documentary about Wal-mart.

I know, fine cheese, good wine, and big tacky yellow happy faces and cheap prices ending in .48? Um, yeah. What a meal!

OOooooohhh this movie has me ALL RILED UP. Granted, I haven't step foot in a Wal-Mart in like 5 years - so fuck yeah- I do my part. But if you even so much as think about popping in for a quick roll of TP....THINK AGAIN. This company sucks.

I mean, it's not necessarily WHAT they sell so much as HOW they sell it and the corporate philosophy they hold. But I admit- I even gave a silent 'hell yeah' when they announced they were selling prescription drugs on the cheap. One step closer to socialized health care.

But now I see this film and, while we've all seen the drama in the news and heard about the lawsuits, I'm just floored all over again. Fuck! What a piece of shit company! They could give out free drugs for 10 years and even that would never erase the amount of harm they've done.

Think about it: the founders of Wal-Mart are in THE TOP TEN richest people in the US. Top Ten! And there are 3 of them in that top 10! They bring in over 240 BILLION dollars in sales and they can't provide affordable health benefits for their employees? They can't pay livable wages? They FIRE people for talking to each other on the clock for fear of conspiring to start a union?

Once again: the richest company in the world can't provide affordable health bennies for their people? Mosey on over to Microsoft or Google and check out what those employees make. Hell, look at the people who work for King Soopers or Safeway or jeez, even the man begging on Speer probably has it better.

Fact: Wal-Mart employee avg salary = $13, 900 per year.
Wal-Mart CEO salary = $29 million per year

Fact: Wal-Mart employees gave $5 million to an employee assistance fund.
The Walton Family gave $6,000.

Doesn't this make you want to vomit?

(OMG- now we're onto discrimination against women and blacks.....oh look, there is the Loveland Wal-Mart with people protesting in front of it! Environmental destruction! Boarded-up empty downtowns! Closures of small businesses! Wal-mart is a veritable pu-pu platter of utter lack corporate responsibility!)

Please faithful readers, I plead you. Do not shop at Wal-Mart (or Sam's Club). Believe me, I know the temptation...cheap goods you don't need are as much a weakness of mine as they are yours. But as tempting and convenient as a quick stop to Wal-Mart seems, by buying so much as a piece of gum, you are supporting a monster.

If I didn't get you there, let me put it this way: Would YOU work at Wal-Mart? No? Then why would you shop there?

And I know I should probably stop now and let my blood pressure simmer down, but like the professor at today's faculty forum who just couldn't fucking let it go, I'll go on to say that I KNOW sometimes people don't have a choice. I know that in many places Wal-Mart is the only place to shop or work. But does that excuse them from pocketing BILLIONS while said employees go without food, healthcare, places to live? Is it OK to be the richest company in the world but treat your employees like shit?

Is it OK to make Wal-Mart CHEERS mandatory for everyone who works there??????

No? Well good. Shop on then. But if you somehow end up standing face to face with an old person handing out happy face stickers, ask yourself if you feel good about what you're about to do.

AaaaaggagagagagHHHHHHH.

/soapbox.

Bang bang.**

2006-09-26T08:41:00.000-06:00

I totally don't feel like blogging right now. I had shit to say yesterday, but was too busy, and now? Missed the window of motivation, I guess.

Blah blah, thumb twidling.

Oh alright. I guess I'll try and deliver something......sigh. I totally should be working.

But all you get are bullets. Sorry.

Friday night we ate pasta in our jammies and watched Winged Migration. It really made us want to smoke weed. For the critters.....it was weed. Birds are total kitty crack....Biggie Purrs used to have a video he liked to watch called "Video Catnip" and all it was was footage of birds and squirrels in somebody's backyard. Both Lucy and Purrs were all up in the screen with Winged Migration. A family film indeed! =)

My date to my sorority's spring formal my freshman year in college in Virginia is now living on a bench in downtown Denver, homeless. I am completely serious.

All weekend long Kevin and I found great humor in pointing out moments when we were the "perfect Denver couple." Shit. We drive an Outback, take our dog to the park wearing Chacos and Patagonia, shop at Whole Foods, and drink Fat Tire. How much more sterotypical can you get? We kind of make ourselves want to puke.

Somebody took someone (me!) out for a scrumptious dinner involving oysters and Grey Goose martinis. You think he was trying to get laid? Ha!

A band began playing Dead covers at the place we had dinner (Highland Pacific) and suddenly I got to the urge to boogie down at a hippie bar - despite the fact that I was sporting a cowl-necked sweater and high-heeled boots. So we drove over to Cervantes and I made Kevin pull the car up alongside all the hippies outside smoking while I hollered out to ask who was playing. "Duuuuuuude, it's Z Juice (or something). He's totally SICK." Um, ok. Nevermind.

Kevin declared we were not allowed home until 2 am. I only briefly balked, as I'm sure you're surprised. Shamefully, we were in the car. SHAMEFULLY we were less than a mile from home in A CAR. We couldn't find parking. I said that the next spot we saw we were grabbing and the closest bar to that spot is where we were drinking. Well- what do you know? A spot was open right in front of Double Daughters! Only...a guy was standing in it trying to save it for his friend. Nuh- UH! You can't do that shit. I was proud of Kev- he really took initiative and pulled right in, forcing the guy to jump out of the way. I totally would have done that, but K isn't always as bold as I am. Go baby.

Let me repeat this very important mantra: FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE, people. It is super annoying on a standing room-only bus when people try to save seats. It is super annoying in a packed downtown when people try to save parking spots. It is super ANNOYING.

The excessive use of all-caps is also annoying. My bad.

Sunday was typical. Breakfast at Mercury Cafe, hurtin', nap, football, pizza, O magazine. In that order.

And well, here we are. Lamenting over the 3 painting companies who have been no-shows on the painting of our house and the 4th that didn't show up yesterday. That's why none of y'all have been invited over yet. Not until the house glows in all its crisply painted-exterior glory.

**Get it? Bullets! Ha ha.

Nesting in the sweet sweetness.

2006-09-22T15:35:00.000-06:00

Forgive me if this is starting to sound like a DOG BLOG, but this morning I went to court to "contest" (aka. "plead guilty and get a fucking break on the hefty fine") the off-leash ticket Lucy and I got last month.

(Ha ha. Like Lucy got the ticket. Well, hey, she DID want to get in that water! The girl needs to pony up some cash and take some blame!)

Courtrooms and legal proceedings excite me. I've even considered law school. For real. I mean, I know most of it is dry, boring legal gobbledygook but a trial? Hell yeah.

(OK. Maybe I read too much People Magazine.)

Brief interruption: Has anyone ever tried a chocolate-covered potato chip? A co-worker just gave me one......YUMMMMMMM.

Anyway, back to Courtroom 6 of Denver County Court. Right now I'll even go so far as to say that I went to contest the ticket just for the whole court EXPERIENCE. Isn't that so sexy? Rawrrr. I am a dork. There was a little inital excitement.....ya know, some legal terms were bandied about and I got to stand next to where the judge would sit - the bench? There were some lawyers milling around and a metal detector being manned by people with guns. There were a few shady looking criminals, but mostly? There were lame people like me contesting their dog off-leash tickets.

FIFTY people contesting dog off-leash tickets!

And we were to go one by one in pleading our guilt for being shitty dog owners. I lasted all of 10 minutes before I broke down and said fuck it: this is not worth $14, all this sitting around. So I paid the full fine of $80 and got the hell out of there. What a waste of time.

Anyone doing anything fun this weekend? We might go up to Fort Collins tomorrow but the weather kind of sucks to be outside drinking beer all day - or does it?- so I might, as Emily likes to say, NEST and get my fall cozy on. Re-organize the seasonal wardrobe, rake leaves, run, make soup, go to Home Depot, maybe a little Bed Bath & Beyond (Old School).....

If I were Jewish, I would definitely be all over some Matzo ball soup this weekend. I love that stuff! Brisket and Kugel, not so much. But the rest of the Jewish holiday menu? Yummy! Lox is my favorite breakfast ever.

So with that? To all my Jewish friends and family (yes, believe it or not I have Jewish family).....shana tova! And to everyone else: enjoy the sweet, sweetness (Little Miss Sunshine).

xoxox.

Open-eyed nap time.

2006-09-21T11:22:00.000-06:00

For those of you wondering (Kelli!) - the Lucy situation has in fact been resolved. Can I just say: score one for rosalicious! (And I think Kev may have read all your comments, so thanks for having my back, y'all!)

This morning, at precisely 5:21 am (which, oddly enough, is the exact time- to the MINUTE- the little pooch chose nights prior), Lucy began her world-famous WOOF WOOF, TAP TAP routine.

And we ignored her. And it was freaking HARD. Man!

(Well, maybe we both snapped a sharp NO one or two times...in my wine hangover-induced haze, the details are foggy.)

Her antics did not work. But the ignoring DID! Twenty minutes later, she was curled up in our bed again....quiet and calm as a little church mouse. In fact, she didn't even get up when I did. Lazy biznatch!

In other observations that relate to the above mentioned wine fog, there is a box of empty beer bottles and plastic wine cups under my desk right now. I had to interview someone this morning and when I stood up to shake his hand they all clanked together. Classy AND professional!

I'm tired. It's rainy and gray out. I am skipping Step today and getting soup and something melty/cheesy. Yummy.

Anyway.....Happy Autumn Equinox! Don't forget to balance those eggs!

UPDATE: Nope, sorry. Not Autumn Equinox yet. Oops!

(And Happy Birthday to you too, Jenn, should you interrupt your fabulous time in Telluride to read something as terribly important as my blog....)

Today's important questions.

2006-09-20T10:48:00.000-06:00

One of the weird, sucky things about our new place is that there is a house behind ours whose back porch overlooks our backyard. I mean, it's RIGHT THERE. Luckily, the people never seem to be home - at least I never see any lights on. Good thing too, because I've thought nothing about running outside in my DRAWERS to turn off the sprinkler or grab Lucy's kong.

Anyway, whoever the hell they are, they have a shit load of trash on the back porch and quite frankly, I am sick of looking at it. It's been there since we moved in August 1.

Exhibit A:

I am trying to decide on the most neighborly way to tell them that their bags of shit are pissing me off. Do I write a note or stop by in person? What's my reason? Surely aesthetics is not a strong enough reason, or is it? I have thought of telling them that it stinks....it doesn't, but that's a good reason, right? Or I thought of putting "something" below their deck and then telling them that their personal dumping ground is dripping funk all over our stuff.

Kev, who hates confrontation, is horrified at the thought of me saying anything. He even went so far as to say that we should take a ladder and climb up there and get it ourselves. HELL NO! Why the fuck can't these people take out their own damn trash? It's beyond me, the slovenliness of people. GROSS!

I don't want to make a scene and surely I am not going to stumble over there after polishing off a bottle of Shiraz, but I'm OVER THE DAMN TRASH and I am going to do something about it. Thoughts?

* * *

Also: If a new person came to work in your office building, but not directly in your department, and showed up on her first day with a tray of muffins and passed them out like a stewardess while introducing herself to everyone, what would you think?

What if she made sure to note that the muffins were homemade from apples from her grandpa's farm?

What if the muffins were kind of hardened and burned?

What if she was wearing something sparkly and sequiny under her suit?

You know, I'm just wondering......