Won't you be my blog-friend?

This day cannot go by fast enough. I feel like one of those bloated chicks in the Zelnorm commercials, only my stomach is not nearly so flat. How can they have a commercial for bloating and advertise their product on a flat-tummied person? Then again, maybe I do need Zelnorm. Maybe my tummy, too, can be that flat. In sum, I'm having a pretty poopy week in the bloat respect.

Ahem. I should know better than to drink cheap crappy wine, I should. Hell, now I can even afford to spring for at least a $10 bottle. I guess I'm just in the habit, from being broke for so long, of cruising into the liqour store and grabbing a 1.5 L of Concho Y Toro. It's quite gross, and tastes like vinegar. But I drank it last night. I drank it and danced around my living room all by my lonesome. And I even did some ironing.

OK....WHO THE HELL IRONS WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK? I do. It's fun! Try it sometime! I guess I just enjoy the wine-heightened satisfaction of pressed clothing. HRRRMMPP. Sue me.

No plans on the horizon for the weekend.....maybe a redo of the blog. The color is killing me. It's like that blue toilet water. No one reads my blog anyway....WHO READS MY BLOG? It's ugly and amateur and ugghhh....

Oh stop, Rosalicious--it's your pity-patty-pity Friday afternoon pity party and the blog ain't having it! I did see that someone found my blog by googling "ticklish pedicures" and I have reached 1,000 hits (small potatoes to some but big for me!). But have I made any new blog friends, attracted anyone new (other my own, already-had friends--hey guys!)? Has anyone random linked to me? Has anyone book marked my page? Noooooo. Not that I know of. I am a blogging loser!

On the other hand, I can't exactly say that I'm really being the blogging go-getter. All the links to the right--they're all blogging heavy-hitters and have been at it for a long time. What do I expect? Instant notoriety? A legion of adoring fans? God, that would annoy me. I read the comments on the BIG blogs like this one and everyone is so worshippy and "I love you Fish... you are like, the BEST writer" and all she'll have written would be something like "I was late for work today and feel like crap." I mean, I enjoy her blog but I certainly don't swoon over the mundanest of entries, nor do I judge her for not making every entry Pulitzer-prize worthy. Hardly anyone writes any thought-provoking comments worth reading, they just want their name up there in the comments so people will link to their own pages.

Huh.
(Lightbulb!)
So that's what I'm doing wrong!

Maybe once my blog looks a little cooler I'll feel more confident putting myself out there.

Til later--hasta la vista, babes in toyland.