Friday, February 17, 2006

Everyone has an ex.

Guess where Kevin is right now?

A. Lunching with his ex-girlfriend
B. At a promising interview with an awesome planning firm
C. In the ER with a broken leg
D. On a plane to Cincy to see his nephew James

Well?

If you guessed A. then you are correct! He is having lunch in Boulder with his ex-girlfriend, Lynne, as I write this.

Um, I already have lunch plans baby, but thanks for inviting me.

There is a time not too long ago when I would have come completely unglued over him having lunch with her. I had some serious issues with this chick and I had never even met her!

These issues started when all of Kevin's friends mistakenly called me "Lynne." This happened all the time. Apparently we look alike....red hair, freckles, same size, same nose...yada yada. It felt like I was always being compared to her by everyone and that sucked. I wanted to be known for who I am, an individual. I was embarrassed to meet Kevin's friends because I knew the first thought to cross their minds would be "she looks like Lynne." I felt like second place....a runner-up. A replacement.

Secondly, I formed an opinion on her based on Kevin's stories. I know this isn't fair, but he put it out there and it's all I had to go on. Psycho, crazy stories involving driving cars into barns and drunken brawls and shit like that. She cheated on him, with her ex. She sounded, to me, like a possessive delusional woman with a lot of mental issues.

(Hmmm...but aren't we all? Looks who's talking here.)

It wasn't her entirely though, back in that time. It was me being insecure and scared of losing Kevin. I had this idea that she was still madly in love with him and hopeful that they would get back together. Kevin, himself, admitted that this idea wasn't so far off. She called a lot. In fact, the first night our phone was turned on at our first house toegether, the phone rang. It was her. She was our very first caller at our new place. I was LIVID.

Obviously things have changed quite a bit. I am very secure in our relationship now and I know without a doubt that it's me Kevin wants to be with. I can respect the catching up with the ex thing, it's not a big deal. I know nothing will happen, that it's just eat, catch up, and go on your merry way.

But I'd be lying if I didn't admit to you that it does bother me a little. Will she be nervous seeing him? Will he? Will it bring back good memories? Will they talk about the past? Will she still think he's attractive? Will she ask about me? Will she hope that maybe something is still there? Will she search for clues that might indicate as such? Will he compare her to me?

He didn't invite me, and she didn't ask for me to come. I don't even know if that would have been a good idea. I know Kevin would feel uncomfortable the whole meal...knowing how I felt about her in the past. But I just want to meet her, see what she's like, see them together so I KNOW, once and for all, that it truly is...no big deal.

2 Comments:

At 1:36 PM, Blogger jess said...

You should tell him it makes you uncomfortable. You should tell him you want to meet her. He should respect your feelings. Maybe he'd see her anyway but maybe he'd tell her that it would be nice if she met you since he is in love with you and you are each others futures.
maybe I am projecting. :)

 
At 1:48 PM, Blogger Rosie said...

He knows how I feel. We talked about it last night. He reads this blog, I wouldn't write about something he didn't already know!

I really did have lunch plans today and couldn't go, even if. I don't think I want to meet her in an environment with just her, him, and me anyway. Maybe something more fun and social like a party or someplace where there is an "out", just in case she really is a monstrous beotch! Or at the very least...a place and time where COCKTAILS would be consumed ;)

 

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