Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Sameold sameold.

A lot of nothingbuteverything has been running through my head today...

...what's wrong with my kitty? he really sick?
...who do I hire for my admin?
...where do we move next winter? we move next winter? I buy a house here in Denver and basically say fuck it, we're staying? I drinking too much? I eating too much? I letting things go?
...why do I feel so unenthused?
...cutting back on my pill?
...why am I so concerned with my weight?
...why don't I want to work out this afternoon?
...what are my financial priorities? my job fulfilling me? I a good girlfriend, friend and daughter?
...why am I so critical?
...why did I eat that KFC the other day?
...why can't I go on my yearly Utah backpacking trip?

I know, sameold sameold. Writing it down makes all of this seem trivial. There's just this weight, this almost-urge to break down into tears. I am too much of a perfectionist. I am stressed out. I am tired. I am having a bad day.

I'll feel better tomorrow....sometimes you just need a day to ask the hard questions.


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