A lot of nothingbuteverything has been running through my head today...
...what's wrong with my kitty?
...is he really sick?
...who do I hire for my admin?
...where do we move next winter?
...do we move next winter?
...do I buy a house here in Denver and basically say fuck it, we're staying?
...am I drinking too much?
...am I eating too much?
...am I letting things go?
...why do I feel so unenthused?
...cutting back on my pill?
...why am I so concerned with my weight?
...why don't I want to work out this afternoon?
...what are my financial priorities?
...is my job fulfilling me?
...am I a good girlfriend, friend and daughter?
...why am I so critical?
...why did I eat that KFC the other day?
...why can't I go on my yearly Utah backpacking trip?
I know, sameold sameold. Writing it down makes all of this seem trivial. There's just this weight, this almost-urge to break down into tears. I am too much of a perfectionist. I am stressed out. I am tired. I am having a bad day.
I'll feel better tomorrow....sometimes you just need a day to ask the hard questions.