Nada.

Nothing too exciting to report today about the weekend, I'm afraid. We were the lamest of lame and clearly that lame has carried over into my Monday because

I GOT NOTHING.

Well, almost. Maybe I can muster a run-on paragraph devoid of any wit or humor. Maybe a bulleted list? Maybe a meme? Maybe a Christmas quiz? Maybe y'all can just go ahead and ask me some questions before I freak out on my own lack of charisma today.

Alright, a little run-down it is, but don't say I didn't tell you so:

On Friday night I basked in the glow of the tree and drank wine and wrote my Christmas cards. Hush now. I will always, always send handwritten Christmas cards. I will kill trees and I will burn fossil fuels and come hell or high water I will get my cards out. (And I know this is out of chronological order, but in a moment of temporary shopping apeshit craziness yesterday, I bought Where The Wild Things Are cards. MONSTERS for Christmas?! What the hell was I thinking? They're going back.)

On Saturday morning we had a YUMMY breakfast at Duo before morphing into the kind of people we hate- Americans! Ha ha. We went to THE MALL. Ick! Poo! Yuck! Remember what I said earlier about that shit?!? Lord. We temporarily went insane and then went to ANOTHER MALL. A strip mall! The best kind! Michael's Crafts! Ross! Old Navy! Whole Foods! Six and a half hours of bullshit! Then we came home and went directly up to North Star Brewery and got drunk. We crazy.

Yesterday was just as riveting. We cleaned. We watched a cheesy movie (Just Friends). We watched the Broncos get spanked. We ate pizza. I ironed. In fact, I even ironed Kevin's clothes too for today is his first day of work! I sent him off all crisp and professional-looking. Do YOU iron YOUR man's attire? And I gave him his graduation prezzy yesterday too...a Swiss Army watch. Dude, I am THE BEST girlfriend EVER.