How to Survive the Cold: Winter Edition.
The winter blahs are in full-force over here at rosalicious. It's kind of funny though...I'm eating my healthful salads & soups, getting my workouts in, doing things, making plans, staying busy...but still. BLAH. I am feeling wholly and unenthusiastically BLAH.
And....I'm cold! Wah!
(OK, I know today is like, a freaking balmy 55 degrees....)
Two summers ago I made a list of ways to survive the heat, back when it was really really fucking hot out. Oh Jesus and the Mary Chain (guess the inspiration!)....weren't THOSE the days?!
Anyway, my sanity is kind of at stake here and so, by way of cheering my cold little self up, I present to you....
HOW TO SURVIVE THE COLD: WINTER EDITION
Spend a lot of money on wine at Corks.
Drink what you buy. Drink it every night.
Cashmere, baby. An investment!
And hot baths!
Use really scrumptious bubbles in those baths.
Use lots of lube.
In fact, attend a Passion Party. Or two!
Turn on your heated car seats. (I have these. They kick ass!)
Make chili. Preferably Cincinnati-style.
Wear Ugg boots without fear of looking like a fashion-follower. This is COLORADO, people. Uggs are acceptable here! Right?
Get a pedicure, even though no one will really see your feet. The hot water and foot massage....ummmmm.
Listen to Ray Charles.
Watch too much reality TV. Real World Denver and American Idol will fit the bill.
Go to bed at 8:30 PM without feeling like a loser.
Make all your doctor and dentist appointments. Get any procedures done.
Eat at a really, really expensive restaurant.
Go to a Nuggets game. Especially if there is one where everyone is wearing all white - creepy!
Snowboard at least 5 times.
Snowshoe at least twice.
Cross-country ski. Maybe.
Keep your Christmas lights up until every last bit of snow melts. All the cool kids are doing it!
Sit around a fire. There's one in my backyard if you need one.
Buy an assortment of birthday cards so you'll have them on hand all year long.
Join the frequent flier program of every airline that flies through your town.
Plan a warm weather trip - like, Belize. Right baby?
Meet for happy hour at the dirtiest, diviest bar you can find.
Spring for a facial.
Shred your old bills, statements, pay stubs, etc. from last year.
Plot and plan how to spend that big fat tax refund.
Make a "cheer-up rosalicious" playlist on your new ipod with all your very favorite songs.
Avoid your blog. It's OH-KAY.
Go to your local mexican restaurant and only speak spanish.
Whine a lot and act like a baby.
Get hot and sweaty on the dance floor.
Give the birthday girl who was sick on her birthday extra-special treatment. I hear she really likes tequila and big fancy earrings.
Act like you don't care about Valentine's Day.
Make a gift to charity and warm thy heart!
Write everything in a cheery spring-colored ink, like pink! Weeeee!
Burn candles every evening.
Stay updated on your homeless sorority date.
Thank god you aren't homeless.
Clean out your closets.
See how long you can grow your leg hair before breaking down and shaving.