Sorting through the NO pile.

I am currently in the process of hiring a new secretary. The minimum education requirement for the position is a high school diploma.

In looking at these resumes, dude.....it shows!

There are NO perfect resumes. They all have some sort of spelling or layout error. And the cover letters! Did they all get "Job Searching For Dummies" and each copy the sample cover letter from the book, word for word? They all say the same thing!

My personal favorite is the one that put "I have" or "I can be" in front of each and every exact sentence in my job posting: "I can be responsible for coordinating and printing direct mail appeals and other communication materials" or "I can be responsible for providing administrative support to so-and-so and so-and-so." She also wrote: "I also have more than a high school diploma and three years experience in an office environment." REALLY?

EEEEKKK! The NO pile is THIS BIG!

All I really want is someone with a sweet phone voice and nice handwriting. Oh, and someone who will bring in fresh-baked cookies and wear festive jewelry on all the holidays.