Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Halfway there.

Jeez...I'm struggling hard right now. This sucks, this is so painful. I have 1.5 more days of this. Rumble rumble. Irritation. Headache. Lack of concentration. Boredom.

I wish someone was doing this with me for support. I can't even handle the most mundane tasks at work today. Am I justified taking a sick day when I am the one making myself sick? Agghhhh, this feels so unbearable!

I have nothing to break up the day--it's lunchtime but I have no lunch. I'll have a walk, to the bank. Even that sounds unbearable. I have nothing to look forward to --is food really that important to me (besides what I need to live, smartasses!)? I wish I wasn't so reliant on food to fill me up. Why can't a lovely walk or a cup of tea be enough?

I think about food all the time, not just while fasting. It's all been taken away for the time being--the meal planning, the decisions, the shopping, the chewing, the social aspect. I went to bed at 7:30 am last night just to get away from my food thoughts. I slept for 12 hours.

It's more than just being hungry.

Update: Actually, I have 2 updates. One, I just started my period so not only am I fasting but I am ragging too. This should be interesting. And two, I successfully visited the grocery store over lunch without a major meltdown. I bought some Naked juices...the Almased and organic veggie broth was getting barfy. I am drinking a Superfood now and can I tell you that it is nothing short of the best thing I have ever tasted? I remember now that one of the side effects of fasting is an increased sense of taste....well, YUM. This drink has made my day infinitely better...momentarily, anyway.


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