Do cowgirls get wedgies?

Howdy cowboys and cowgirls!

Remember that purse making party I went to way back yonder?

The goods, they finally arrived. May I present to you a photo of my one-of-a-kind $100 cowboy purse, designed by yours truly?


The lining I selected, so very spiffy:


Close-up of my special cowboy purse, giddy up lil doggies!


It might be handy for you to know a few things here: a) there is nothing in my collections remotely cowboy-western-anything b) the party included a lot of wine.

So, there's your explanation for why I picked a cowboy pattern right there. It's cute though, right? Right? C'mon cowgirls, buck up some compliments! (I need to end stupid cowgirl references immediately.)

Do you think that all the stylish ladies in South Beach Miami will make fun of my new purse next week, like "damn she's from podunk Colorado, poor thing! She wears tight Wranglers and shit stompers!" Or might they be like, "wow your purse is so kitchy and original, I've never seen anything like that! You must be from Colorado...that's awesome, they have great skiing!"

I'm torn.

Clearly I couldn't live without also designing my own $15 checkbook cover:


Shut up. I know nobody writes checks anymore. I do, so stick that internet bill-paying nose up your ass. I have a completely adorable little checkbook cover and you probably still have that generic blue plastic one from your bank that the dog's done chewed up so...HA!

I had an especially productive day today. Too bad I've been sitting in the biggest wedgie EVER. I put on some size 6 Banana Republic pants this morning thinking, hell yeah! They fit! But amidst the excitement of this discovery I failed to realize that they're still a few inches away from what you might call comfortable. At least I don't want to eat lest my tummy swell out, making the crisis worse. And speaking of tight Wranglers, how in the hell do they deal with the whole ride a horse/camel toe/wedgie situation?

No, you don't get a picture of my wedgie. Check out my golden highlights instead:


Giddyup, it's Friday all you cowpokes!