Here, mack on my weekend.

The weekend. It came, it went. You really don't want to hear about it.

Wait, what's that, you do? Even though it was kinda eh, kinda uneventful, kinda typical?

Oh, alright....then go ahead, mack on these points of (un)interest:

- I managed to behave myself at the fundraiser in front of my subordinates. How, I'm not sure, seeing as I tossed back 3 vodka tonics in just over an hour, then moved on to red wine...and why did the waiter assume I wanted my red wine filled to the brim of my glass? Didn't he know that would make me look like a lush in front of my fellow collegiate professionals? (Solution: suck it down to an appropriate level as soon as possible!)

- Mike Shanahan gave the most boring goddamn speech in the history of speeches. He also has white chiclet teeth that WOAH....them bitches bright! (Kev says the proper name for them is VENEERS.)

- The tiny floral arrangement that I made Kevin snag off one of the tables made me feel sad, it was just so small and cheaply pitiful in such a big ballroom (but damn- it sure looks pretty on my dresser now!).

- Saturday morning, I scraped an inch of scum off the side of my fish tank with a razor. My big sucker fish now has nothing to munch due to his mom being an insatiable clean freak.

- I may have gotten a little action after that. Action....wink, wink. (The action had nothing to do with the fishtank.)

- We watched this insane man babytalk grizzly bears in this documentary called "Grizzly Man." I am deathly afraid of bears, all bears, and for good reason! Dude eventually turned into bear grub! Yeah, bud, saw that coming...

- Sunday morning, Lu-snickers and mama went running in 90 degree heat and almost passed the fuck out! Thank god for a quick stop at the coffee shop for some freaking HOT coffee! Didn't I say iced, lady? I am red-faced and panting for freak's sake! Are you trying to kill me?!

- Inspired by all the Martha Stewarty landscaping I saw whilst silently dying in my New Balance running kicks, I (first washed Maude, car was filth!) battled the crowds at Home Depot and bought some plants. Pretty ones!

- I brought our yard to life with petunias, DAHLIAS, stock, celosia, and sweet william....as well as some 'maters and a zuchini plant that I know will soon become the big garden badass.

- I also satisfied my OCCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Cleaning Disorder) by doing a little vacuuming, dusting, laundry. It can never be too clean, y'all, never. But trust me- I will never stop trying. It's a sickness.

- I drank a black cherry vodka and tonic while smoothing out the wrinkles in my work attire. It is no secret that I love ironing. Mock me and I will brand you with the hot domestic weapon of my choice!

- Kev and I did not smoke a single ciggy all weekend! Smoke-free Denver, we're ready for your ass!

- Sunday Dinner (not to be confused with lunch in The South) was Swing Thai. As always, ummmmmmmm. I had a salad. I am on a diet. Fuck, I am always on a diet. Carry on.

- Desperate Housewives Season Finale.

- Gangsters rolling out the hoopdies outside my window at 2 am. Granny dragging her recycling out at 4 am. Rosie, not sleeping at all. Plus, back killing me.

- Other stuff: already forgotten. I need to start toting around pen and paper for those tender bloggable moments.

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And on a note of a current kind, I am totally loving all the pictures of Sean Preston (where Britney almost dropped him) being transposed in various places....check them out at Perez Hilton. Sooooooo funny!