This is the first you've heard of this, any of you.

Icksters. I feel like bloated Mexican crap - I just scarfed down a chicken burrito and mucho nachos. Blech. I need to board the nutritional train PRONTO! Last week did me in as far as veggie and H2O consumption are concerned (lack there of). I think I just may have gone 2 straight days without anything green in my diet (except margarita mix). Now I am feeling it in my torso area! Blecccccchhhhhhhh.

I am also feeling incredibly angsty? Anxious? I am anxious about the future and all the decision-making and planning that comes along with it. Kev and I had "the talk" on Saturday-- no, not about that you bunch of stinkers! We talked about The Future and what it holds for us in terms of our living and work situations. And the concensus is this: we are really going to try to move next summer. That means no homeowning for me right now.

Yes, I cried a pitiful little tear. Woe was me. But I feel so much better now that we've gotten it out there and "have a plan"--well, sort of a plan. The key city is Asheville, NC. If I am to pick up and leave this beautiful state it better damn well be to someplace equally as awesome. Asheville has everything I want in a home --good food, lots of bluegrass music, art, college town, mountains/lots of outdoor adventures, driving distance to beach, medium-sized. If only every yuppie/hippie/30-something didn't want to live there too!

There are so many "ifs" right now.....and things change. Maybe Kevin will find a great job here in Denver. Maybe we'll end up staying. It's called living and that is what we're going to do until whatever is supposed to happen, happens. But still --I am a woman who operates best on a strategic plan (god, I am such a fundraiser)! It's hard for me to just go with it....I need options, people. A plan.

In the past 24-hours I have worked really hard to get psyched about potentially starting over in a new town and I have managed to acquire the happy psych! That's just it--starting over can be a GOOD thing. Starting a new phase of my life--the one that involves weddings and homebuying and babies! My thirties, my god! They are here.

The reality is that I guess I have always known I would eventually move back East. I knew I'd always look back and say "when I lived in Colorado" and know which time period in my life I was referring to. But last week reminded me of how much I love the ocean - not just "like going on vacation there" but LOVE it and want to be near it--permanently. It's always been so important in my life, the beach, and I have missed being able to hop in the car and be at the beach a few hours later. It's who I am.

It will also be exciting to have family back in our lives. At an appropriate distance, of course! This will be very, very new. Hanging out with family non-holiday style! And free dog-sitting! Also: friends who we never see...people in KY and VA and elsewhere! The chance to reconnect and bring these people back into our lives.

OK, I'm ready to move now.

Just kidding.

Colorado friends: don't start planning my going-away party yet, nothing's happened!
East Coast friends: for god's sake, keep it DOWN, nothing's happened!

We shall see....we shall see. There is also something else new and exciting for me in the works and I am not going to let you in on it just yet.

But I will. Just as soon as I push this burrito out the other end.