Saturday, May 06, 2006


Somebody made a huge mistake sending me here this week for a conference!

Did I just take a business trip or a vacation?

Hmmmmm, the line's a little blurred on that one.

We were good and attended MOST of the conference. I got in plenty of beach and pool time....unlike some of my fellow higher ed fundraising comrades who sheepishly felt like they had to "sneak" out. Ha, whatever....I wore my nametag on my bikini with NO SHAME. Then, I swear there were some who didn't attend SHIT. Slacker bitches. (But can I still hang out with you?)

What can I tell you about the trip that's fun/ny other than how to increase donor retention rates and how to acquire more young alumni? Well, to start the Super Shuttle trip to our hotel required that I whip out a map and guide the driver around downtown Miami. I about bitch-slapped some lady on the van who told the Japanese tourists they couldn't pay with a credit card because she didn't want to wait to have the driver run the card, but showed some restraint (unusual- I HATE people like this). I admit that it was pretty pathetic that the driver had no clue where he was going or what he was doing, but seriously. No need to wet your girdle chick--poor guy's just trying to make a living.

(Dude, there is some Wu-tang on itunes right now and it is SO Miami.)

As I'm sure many of you know, Miami is fucking crazy.

It's also fucking expensive. Alcohol is not expensable on the company dime any longer, so I spent a pretty penny on liquor. $10 each margaritapinacoladarumpunchwine.......oh, why couldn't the conference have been all-inclusive? Wah.

I had my own nice room in which to look dreamily at the mini bar and steal from the samples basket. Here I am on my balcony:

Yes, I just might have worn my bathing suit to the conference.

At least fundraisers know how to party! We befriended two guys at the "networking reception" who accompanied us through a case of Miller Light (Um, not my purchase). One guy is the Annual Giving Director at the NAACP (and he is white, I might add) and one guy was from Canada. NAACP immediately became my gay boyfriend for the conference, although he said- in so many words- that he wasn't gay. I don't know, but my gaydar was beeping like mad! Anyway, gay or not, dude was a TRIP! He declared himself a "conference whore" and attended less shit than we did! I love funny people and with his seersucker suit, he took the cake.

My friend Shannon came down Thursday night from Stuart/West Palm and we smoked our way through 2 packs of cigarettes. In Southern Girl Terms that means WE HAD A LOT TO TALK ABOUT! I adore Shannon. She is a friend from Boone that I've seen 3 times in the past year and thus feel incredibly reconnected with her. After drinks at the hotel outdoor bar (aka "conference landing pad"), we walked to one of the few restaurants with a bar in Key Biscayne and had some apps, salads, and Pinot Grigio.

(Key Biscayne is NOT a party scene.)

We were the only ladies in there and were pounced on immediately. I enjoy the attention, I must admit. One wink and there are shots of limoncello in front of you. You need another glass of wine (in Cuban or Colombian accent)? Of course! It is a great joy to be a lady sometimes ;-) Especially when you are in a Sopranos-style establishment with rich Floridian men who drive Mercedes convertibles and wear pleated silk trousers!

Anyway, befriending of foreign men aside, it was a good trip:

Feeling good!

Welll, enough for now....I'm off to drink a mint julep. It IS Derby.


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